This isn't really an aibu but a ranting of thoughts
I am middle management for a community mental health team and it feels like the walls are crumbling around me and I just don't know what to do.
Today we heard that yet another ex colleague has ended their life. It's becoming horrendously not unheard of, in the last few months two of my staff have spoken to me about suicidal thoughts, I suspect a third is also experiencing them. Every supervision people tell me they are stressed. Our team has a high level of genuine physical illness like cancer, strokes etc and part of me feels like that's also the job killing people
We can't recruit, have empty posts, posts dissappearing and budgets being slashed. Our building is literally falling apart, we don't have the rooms to see people so even if weve had the staff weve had to cancel appointments because we dont have available space, whole floors have been condemend
We know the patient care isn't great. The system heaves under the weight. I spoke to a mum today and I could hear in her voice the fear that everynight she might lose her daughter as she waits a third week for a bed. People awaiting beds are literally disappearing through gaps
It feels like notifications that someone has died while under our care come regularly
It's like a game of spinning plates but there's too many plates, and they are crashing but each crash is a potential death, a loss of a son, mum. I'm worried every week that the next notification will be a member of my staff, one of my patients, or even me
I've got no idea whether to stay within the system and try to humanise it, be the best manager I can or to just walk away and play no part in letting people down.
What on earth do you do?