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Original poster

It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are

33 replies

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 19:58

What do people think of this comment, in this context

I met a dad at the playground around a month ago, my Dd was playing with his Dd and we sat chatting, he was a very nice guy, we really seemed to click in a platonic, friends way. We exchanged numbers for the girls to play together, he wants his Dd to improve her English and I think it would benefit my Dd to learn more of the language of the country we’re in (not U.K.)
We’ve exchanged messages back and forth, but unfortunately haven’t been able to meet up, this is due to our side as Dd has been ill or we’ve been away/busy.
I felt bad for turning down so many invites and was due to possibly meet after school today, but Dd has been ill, so I messaged him to apologise and explained the whole situation about school, as Dd has been not wanting to go to school recently.
He was very supportive and said if it would help to get the girls together, he’d be there and that I didn’t owe him any explanation of course, but that he appreciates me taking time to text him and that it speaks volumes about the kind of person I am.
Is this a really nice thing to say? It’s been a while since someone’s said something like that to me.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 22:50

@MostlyGhostly Dont think he’s going to come on to me at all, just being paranoid and wondering if other motives as he’s very keen and I’ve said I can’t around 4 times, wouldn’t you just let it go

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MostlyGhostly · 31/05/2024 22:48

If you have different languages and cultures, the intentions, assumptions and interpretations of “it speaks volumes about the sort of person you are” could be very different and you’re way over thinking this. It’s a very ambiguous phrase which is obviously why you have posted. It could be seen as overly gushy or on the other hand, given the context, it could be a throw away comment meaning something like, “Im not taking it personally as I think you’re a good person”. Are you afraid of making a faux pas, or that he is going to come on to you?

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 22:42

@Garlicked My life is not so devoid of nice things being said to me, I have from my friends, Dd, family etc, just never a guy I met once, I suppose that’s my issue, it does feel a bit weird, but I don’t really have male friends these days, I think it’s just me!

OP posts:
sarahc336 · 31/05/2024 22:38

As an outsider it looks like either he's too interested or you are op. It's a tad intense sharing messages with a dad of a little girl
You don't know that you met once at a park. Just feels like he's looking for a partner and your maybe interested 🫣

Garlicked · 31/05/2024 22:31

Justcallmebebes · 31/05/2024 20:23

He sounds quite normal and straightforward. You seem to be making it far more convoluted than it should be. Why are you over analysing it?

I'm more worried about your motives than his, OP!

It doesn't seem to have occurred to you that his response is polite and courteous. Possibly a bit gushy but, depending on the culture where you are, it could be quite normal to insert a personal compliment when being nice. Even in the standoffish UK, it isn't OTT or inappropriate.

You, on the other hand ... I feel sympathy for your life, if it's as devoid of small kindnesses as you imply. But I'd strongly counsel against looking to one person for the 'social strokes' you need. You'll find that, the more you offer them to others, the more you'll receive. Your home life might need something of a review, however.

sophi1995 · 31/05/2024 22:06

You say you really clicked in a platonic way and your daughters really got along. I think everything from there on is just you overthinking. I don't see anything wrong with his message, he just sounds nice and polite.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 22:02

@peachesarenom Why?

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peachesarenom · 31/05/2024 22:01

Oh dear! I think you need a date night with your actual partner having read your other thread!

LoreleiG · 31/05/2024 20:54

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:44

@LoreleiG Havent really thought much until the recent text

Ok then.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:44

@LoreleiG Havent really thought much until the recent text

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Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:43

@Bellevilles Not obsessing just relaying the message etc
It could be a culture thing, this Brit isn’t that used to be people being so openly nice

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LoreleiG · 31/05/2024 20:40

OP, you have thought an awful lot about this chance encounter. It’s almost like the beginning of a film script.

Bellevilles · 31/05/2024 20:39

It’s nice but a bit much. In the wider context, it sounds a bit odd but it’s not clear whether he’s being too much or you’re obsessing about him a bit.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:36

@Hopper123 I did tell Dp at the time, havent since as it was just a person I was trying to find the time to fit in for a play date and we’ve not done it yet

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Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:33

@SuperGreens Yes likely just that, I’m quite a shy person so just overthinking/not feeling massively comfortable. I did try to let it fizzle out a bit. He sent a follow up video of his Dd showing her new shoes and asking my Dd if she wanted to play with her. It’s nice but seems a bit much. Dd has lots of different friends, I’m wondering if this girl doesn’t have that many or it’s just about the English thing. His Dd seems very smart and he thinks my Dd is, so could be beneficial for them to play together. It seems like the time has passed now? If I met a new friend for play dates and they hadn’t been able to come 3/4 times, I think I’d leave it.

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SuperGreens · 31/05/2024 20:29

I met a lot of people when I was an expat who were very keen for their child to have more exposure to English language. It opens doors when they're older and is much easier to learn a 2nd language properly when you're a child. So it could just be that.

ZebraD · 31/05/2024 20:28

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:13

@Sue152 I’m not sure, I don’t think so, I was just a bit surprised, seems a lot? I’m just not used to people saying things like that I suppose!

I think it seems a lot to swap numbers after only meeting once tbh…

Hopper123 · 31/05/2024 20:26

It sounds as though you are feeling a bit unsure and wondering whether this is actually platonic op. You have stated it feels uncomfortable now. Does your partner know about this man? If not why not? If its truly platonic I mean. If you feel uncomfortable maybe that's a sign to just let his messaging fizzle out and move on from worrying about it.

Sue152 · 31/05/2024 20:25

If you want to meet up then suggest a day and get it over with! You're over thinking it too much now I think. If you don't want to meet up again then tell him you've got too much on at the moment or something.

fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 20:24

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:19

@fieldsofbutterflies I don’t care, I just wonder if this message is a bit weird? Although a lovely thing to say, a bit much? I don’t know, I suppose I feel a bit uncomfortable now as haven’t met up and have given excuses each time, well they were genuine reasons but really I could have met up a different day

It's just a normal message.

I also don't really believe you don't care, otherwise you'd not have posted asking about him again.

Justcallmebebes · 31/05/2024 20:23

He sounds quite normal and straightforward. You seem to be making it far more convoluted than it should be. Why are you over analysing it?

Sue152 · 31/05/2024 20:23

I guess just meet up with him again and see how it goes. He hasn't said you're the most beautiful women he's ever met or declared his love. Maybe he's a weirdo or maybe he just thinks it would be nice to have someone his dd can have a play date with and is glad you haven't ghosted him.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:19

@fieldsofbutterflies I don’t care, I just wonder if this message is a bit weird? Although a lovely thing to say, a bit much? I don’t know, I suppose I feel a bit uncomfortable now as haven’t met up and have given excuses each time, well they were genuine reasons but really I could have met up a different day

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Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:17

@Busbusbusbusbus I don’t think about him a lot at all, I have avoided meeting up, but he’s texted 3/4 times now to meet and I’ve been busy each time

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fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 20:17

Why do you care about this man so much? You were told on the last thread that it was all a bit inappropriate.

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