Who pays for a baby shower?

I’ve been to a couple of baby showers. I’ve had to pay for my food. This was prepaid as it was afternoon tea. I don’t think close friends or family would begrudge paying and if they do they can chose not to attend. I also bought a gift.

I think if you're going by or a meal most people would expect to pay for themselves. Can you nominate a friend to distribute invites on your behalf and give everyone a heads up, maybe send the menu ahead and ask for deposits?

I paid for my own baby shower because I felt it was a bit rude/awkward to basically tell my best friend she had to stump up money to celebrate me! People buy gifts in return

That's a tough one op. In the past when my friendship group has done this we've just covered the cost between us unless the person we're celebrating chooses somewhere very extravagant then they'd pay for themselves. Any baby showers we've done recently we've had at someone's house and everyone has brought something eg drinks/buns/ cake/sandwiches so noone was paying for everything. Its tricky because really it's your bfs place to talk to your other friends and discuss splitting it amongst everyone but you can't really ask her to do that.

I agree with others, tell everyone you don't want all the faff of a baby shower, but you would like to spend a bit of time with the people you care about before baby arrives and things get busy so would people like to meet for lunch at x place, here's the menu it costs approx £x for a main.

You should never host your own baby shower.

It's a specific type of events where the guests "shower" the honouree with gifts. Hosting your own is saying "gimme"

If you want to host a non-shower party to celebrate your soon-to-arrive baby, don't call it a shower, and you as host pick up the tab.

If you want a shower, and don't wat to look grabby, then you have to nudge someone else to host it. It is then their role to sort out costs between herself as host and the other guests

I didn't vote because what you are planning is not really a baby shower, which would usually be at your house or a female relative or friend's house, where friends bring gifts for the baby. You are just planning a nice lunch out with friends before the baby arrives, so I would just call it that and everyone can pay for their own meal as usual.

If you have a baby shower, you pay. If you don't want to pay for food, don't have food and just provide some cakes or similar.

If friends are not having to travel etc then I think it’s reasonable to cover basic costs and then get then to cover their meal if not too expensive.

DH and I are planning a ‘meet the baby’, rather than baby shower in a town near us. Because quite a few people will have to travel we are thinking to organise sharing type food and put a small amount behind the bar, anything else people want they can get themselves but what we provide should be enough so they don’t have to.

This. A baby shower by its nature is for people to give you gifts. In return, you should host them. If you don't want to host and don't want gifts then you need to think of a new name for your event.

I don’t know much about baby shower but I thought it was normal for a BF to host and I assume cover cost ? My DIL only has a few friends in her group and was very young (20) with first child and seemed upset when no one offered to throw one for her, not even her mum. So I offered and she seemed to be so happy one of my better ideas 🥰. Just her few close friends her mum didn’t want to come 🙄, snack/buffet and silly girl talk no games. Tbh I just hosted but left them to it.

so in answer to your question, I would ask your friend to do the invites and to arrange for those eating that they cover their own costs. Perhaps you/her provide a cake as desert

I don't get baby showers either. I think it's an American thing is it not? I wouldn't want to celebrate a baby until it's arrived safely.
Alternatively you could just send a group message "anyone fancy joining us for Sunday lunch? Found a nice venue. It's £** a head.

Honestly, if you don't care whether they come, then don't invite them.

If you're hosting your own Baby shower and inviting people, I would expect that you were paying for the celebrations. If your friends were organising it for You (most common IMO) they would all pay for themselves.