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Original poster

11 year old wants ear piercing

83 replies

Kira4 · 31/05/2024 18:35

My 11yo has really got a bee in her bonnet about wanting new ear piercings. She had had her ears pierced (lobes) when she was 8 (she’d been asking for ages) and now she wants a second lobe piercing and to get a piercing further up her ear (she said it’s called a helix).

Her dad initially told her a resounding no but that we’d discuss it because she keeps on about it. There was a suspicion that some of her friends (and maybe her) were planning to sneakily go and get pierced without telling anyone (don’t think/hope they'd have been successful) so I’m a bit relieved she’s openly asking and wanting to discuss it with us (she can be quite charming and persuasive when she wants to be!)

I’m inclined to compromise and use the second lobe piercing as a carrot/reward over the summer but do think the higher up ear piercing is something she’s way too young for. Would they even do that on a kid even with parental permission? Her dad and I will have to agree and suspect he won’t budge on either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 19:14

@70isaLimitNotaTarget thanks. She rarely wears the earrings she has to school anyway because she does a lot of sport and ends up losing them so don’t think she’d have a problem with a not wearing to school rule for the second lobe ones. Her school is very strict on jewellery and have even confiscated bracelets from her before which I think is a bit harsh but thems the rules!

OP posts:
Phantasmagorically · 31/05/2024 19:13

I'd say yes to the second lobe piercing and no the the helix.

TakeThePain · 31/05/2024 19:12

What's the big deal? She already has piercings. It doesn't make sense to her that she can have her ears pierced but then not.

I'm not really bothered about this stuff, if she has gone to the bother of research and a mood board, I'd just go with it.

Ownedbymymainecoon · 31/05/2024 19:11

Cadela · 31/05/2024 18:56

Second lobe I wouldn’t have a problem with at all and I’m a bit of a stick in the mud in most other aspects of parenting.

Helix piercings are a hard no, they take a year to properly heal, hurt like absolute fuck, you can’t sleep on that side for months, ANY knock will have her screaming in pain, get infected easily, leave big scarred lumps. Absolutely not. Source: I have a helix both ears from when I was a pissed 18yo do not recommend

So definitely not ideal for an 11 year old who loves sports!

Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 19:10

hoarahloux · 31/05/2024 19:08

Just to add, I was underage and got a helix piercing done with a gun in a beauty salon, without parental permission. It was a stupid mistake, it migrated out of the cartilage over the course of about three years and only then finally stopped hurting and oozing constantly. I still have it because I think if I took it out I'd have a weird dent where it used to sit in the cartilage. It's only in the skin now so very shallow.

I’m terrified of her going and doing something stupid like this. It’s awful that there are places that would do this and probably far worse without parents being there to give consent.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/05/2024 19:08

My DD got a helix done at about 14yo , we live in Zone 6 (rules are different in different areas , for example she couldn't get it done at Metalmorphosis - Central London ) Parental Consent and signing the form , as it is not permenant it is allowed here

I took her to a recommended piercer (sterile needle) it healed nicely ....then a while later a hairdresser caught her ear with a comb between the skin and the jewellery . It got infected , didn;t settle , huge granulation lump , she had to remove it .

I have a forward helix , over a year later it;s not healed enough that I want to change it .

2nd lobe , if done with a needle and small studs . Check school policy though ( I told DD if the school complained she'd have to remove hers )

But yes , at the end if it she is 11 and you have the final say .

hoarahloux · 31/05/2024 19:08

Just to add, I was underage and got a helix piercing done with a gun in a beauty salon, without parental permission. It was a stupid mistake, it migrated out of the cartilage over the course of about three years and only then finally stopped hurting and oozing constantly. I still have it because I think if I took it out I'd have a weird dent where it used to sit in the cartilage. It's only in the skin now so very shallow.

Universalsnail · 31/05/2024 19:07

Cadela · 31/05/2024 18:56

Second lobe I wouldn’t have a problem with at all and I’m a bit of a stick in the mud in most other aspects of parenting.

Helix piercings are a hard no, they take a year to properly heal, hurt like absolute fuck, you can’t sleep on that side for months, ANY knock will have her screaming in pain, get infected easily, leave big scarred lumps. Absolutely not. Source: I have a helix both ears from when I was a pissed 18yo do not recommend

The last paragraph is such an exaggeration. My helix was absolutely nothing like that.

Universalsnail · 31/05/2024 19:06

Personally I would just let her have both. Double ones first. Then if she's fine with them the helix. Ear piercings heal up well and don't scar much if she decides she doesn't want them.

WhyamInotvomiting · 31/05/2024 19:02

Im not up to do with care advice for lobe piercings now, do you have to clean/twist them regularly, or change them etc? Basically is she old enough to take all that on by herself?

I have two helix piercings and they definitely didn't take anything like a year to heal, BUT they were a faff when healing. My youngest one is about 5 yrs old so maybe advice has changed but I was told to clean it twice a day and it did really hurt for weeks and even after that you can't sleep on the side for a looong time after. I can't imagine an 11 yr old who could deal with all that well independently, tbh not even a 13 yr old.

Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 19:02

hoarahloux · 31/05/2024 18:57

Just a brief look at some reputable piercers' websites and they all say must be over 14.

She absolutely cannot get a helix done with a gun, it risks shattering the cartilage and will never properly heal.

Show her some pictures of the aftermath and she'll be put off at least until she is old enough to get it done properly.

Will do. She’s really squeamish and has always been terrified of needles tbh (she says she’s not anymore 😂) so hopefully won’t be too hard to deter her from the helix for a few years.

OP posts:
Secondstart1001 · 31/05/2024 19:00

It’s a very painful piercing often done with a needle not a gun like in Claire’s. I had mine as a 40 year old smd it was painful, I love it but I don’t think it’s a piercing for an 11 year old. I would just say no on thos from now let her chose when she’s 16/18.

hoarahloux · 31/05/2024 18:57

Just a brief look at some reputable piercers' websites and they all say must be over 14.

She absolutely cannot get a helix done with a gun, it risks shattering the cartilage and will never properly heal.

Show her some pictures of the aftermath and she'll be put off at least until she is old enough to get it done properly.

Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 18:57

Cadela · 31/05/2024 18:56

Second lobe I wouldn’t have a problem with at all and I’m a bit of a stick in the mud in most other aspects of parenting.

Helix piercings are a hard no, they take a year to properly heal, hurt like absolute fuck, you can’t sleep on that side for months, ANY knock will have her screaming in pain, get infected easily, leave big scarred lumps. Absolutely not. Source: I have a helix both ears from when I was a pissed 18yo do not recommend

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 18:56

Hadalifeonce · 31/05/2024 18:51

Despite pleading, begging and tantrums, I told DD she would not be getting her ears pierced until she was 16. Eventually she only asked occasionally, I still said the same thing. She got the message, and had them done in the summer holidays just before she was 16.
You just have to keep saying no, if you don't want her to have them done.

I don’t really have an issue with the second lobe piercing tbh though but I don’t know much about piercings. Her dad would have to agree and would want to use it as a carrot rather than just let her get it immediately but agree the helix sounds like something she’s way too young for.

OP posts:
Cadela · 31/05/2024 18:56

Second lobe I wouldn’t have a problem with at all and I’m a bit of a stick in the mud in most other aspects of parenting.

Helix piercings are a hard no, they take a year to properly heal, hurt like absolute fuck, you can’t sleep on that side for months, ANY knock will have her screaming in pain, get infected easily, leave big scarred lumps. Absolutely not. Source: I have a helix both ears from when I was a pissed 18yo do not recommend

Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 18:53

Floatinginatincan · 31/05/2024 18:49

No, a Helix piercing is at the top of the ear. You're talking about a 2nd hole on the lobe right?. Yeah I'd let her do it as you say and use it as a reward/bribe.

She wants a second hole on the lobe and a piercing she says is called a helix that is kind of on the side further up her ear (not at the very top, about 3/4 of the way up).

OP posts:
Tygertiger · 31/05/2024 18:53

Decent piercers won’t do cartilage piercings under the age of 16, so I think it’s a no for that reason. I’d allow second lobes though, that’s fine. But go to a proper piercer (not Claire’s!) so they get the placement right.

Sonolanona · 31/05/2024 18:53

Helix absolutely not... that would be a 'when you are 16 and have a part time job' deal.
I'd be surprised if school will allow a second lobe piercing tbh..most schools are 'one set of small studs only.

You can definitely just say no!

Hadalifeonce · 31/05/2024 18:51

Despite pleading, begging and tantrums, I told DD she would not be getting her ears pierced until she was 16. Eventually she only asked occasionally, I still said the same thing. She got the message, and had them done in the summer holidays just before she was 16.
You just have to keep saying no, if you don't want her to have them done.

Floatinginatincan · 31/05/2024 18:49

No, a Helix piercing is at the top of the ear. You're talking about a 2nd hole on the lobe right?. Yeah I'd let her do it as you say and use it as a reward/bribe.

Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 18:48

PiggieWig · 31/05/2024 18:44

I agree that 13 seems fair for the second lobes and she can think about helix later.

Does she know how painful helix piercings are?!

Or course she doesn’t! She has done an impressive amount of research on them though- has basically made a digital mood board of them to show us 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Kira4 · 31/05/2024 18:45

CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2024 18:42

Helix is a cartilage piercing and I think reputable piercers won't do them under 12 as they're more painful and take longer to heal (certainly the case where I live)

Thanks. This is the proper name is it? I’d never heard the actual name before and really don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as young as dd with one

OP posts:
PiggieWig · 31/05/2024 18:44

I’d sell it as a teenage privilege

PiggieWig · 31/05/2024 18:44

I agree that 13 seems fair for the second lobes and she can think about helix later.

Does she know how painful helix piercings are?!