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AIBU?

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Original poster

To push ds into claiming

560 replies

Lacky301 · 31/05/2024 16:44

Ds has just finished uni and never worked through me and ex dp give him £450 a month between us plus I've always bought him the odd thing and gave a bit extra here and there.
Me and his dad are seperated and his dads just received notification that he will now be charged full council tax as ds has finished uni I'm under strain financially. I've told ds he needs to claim universal credit until he finds a job but he keeps saying I want my results first. Am I wrong in pushing him to claim to take some pressure off me and dp. Fwiw he would get around £370 per month as living at home.

OP posts:
Ikeaismyhappyplace · 02/06/2024 15:59

Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:58

They are useless unless your on benefits

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That’s a shame that you’ve had that experience, my son must have been lucky with his work coach.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:58

Ikeaismyhappyplace · 02/06/2024 15:57

I would make an appointment at the job centre regarding universal credit, not so much for the money, although he is entitled to help whilst looking for a job, but for the support and advice they provide.

They are useless unless your on benefits

OP posts:
Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:58

Ohnobackagain · 02/06/2024 15:51

@Lacky301 ask to have the thread deleted

I don't think mumsnett delete threads anymore they just tell you to turn off notifications

OP posts:
Ikeaismyhappyplace · 02/06/2024 15:57

I would make an appointment at the job centre regarding universal credit, not so much for the money, although he is entitled to help whilst looking for a job, but for the support and advice they provide.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 02/06/2024 15:56

Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:54

Yes ds did apply for jobs during his time at uni without success so he stopped eventually. I have seen that others have had the same problem as in a uni town there is alot of competition.

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Yes it’s harder than expected.

I encouraged dd to take on volunteering roles, speak to uni careers and eventually apply for UC. It all helped.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:54

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 02/06/2024 15:33

thunk you’re getting a hard time op.

I encouraged my dd to claim UC whilst seeking work after graduation. She applied for everything. Incl cleaning but with no luck.

Dwp were great with her and found her a work placement for a few weeks and as a result she got a job which she loves.

The job market is quite tough rn. Employees want a lot for min wage.

What I would say is if your dad is in student accommodation then claiming UC complicates council tax exemption.

Your ds should get in touch with uni careers esp whilst he is in uni town. They can help
him with cv, applications and volunteering relevant work experience. Is it physio he wants to do?

Yes ds did apply for jobs during his time at uni without success so he stopped eventually. I have seen that others have had the same problem as in a uni town there is alot of competition.

OP posts:
Ohnobackagain · 02/06/2024 15:51

@Lacky301 ask to have the thread deleted

Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:50

I feel that my post has been misunderstood I asked this question as claiming benefits is something we have never done. It seems to have turned into something else which wasn't the intention and ultimately ended with me been called a failure and ds a lazy sod.

OP posts:
Pinkfluffypencilcase · 02/06/2024 15:49

@Lacky301 encourage him to see the careers service whilst still in uni town. They can help with a plan.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:47

rwalker · 02/06/2024 13:55

I think people don’t realise he won’t just get money for turning up
they’ll a sign him job coach he will have to apply for things or the will just stop any money they were giving him

it’s that much of a pain I would suspect it would stir him into action

Yes people think it's a easy ride on benefits it's no sail in the park you have to keep attending meetings and benefits are only a last resort if he can't find a job I only mentioned should he claim now in case he has difficulties getting a job. My ds never mentioned it and he is on about giving us money back when he starts earning he is a decent lad not a benefit sponger like people are suggesting.

OP posts:
kwetu · 02/06/2024 15:45

The hospitality industry is crying out for staff, even my 14yo DD walked into her part time job!

Scavernick · 02/06/2024 15:44

CaribouCarafe · 02/06/2024 10:51

I'm genuinely surprised 78% of voters think OP is not being unreasonable to push her healthy, fit, almost qualified son to choose benefits over picking up literally any temporary job that would pay the same/more than UC would and would ultimately look better on his cv. Hope he gets a job soon as the thought of someone with his attitude to work receiving anything from my taxes enrages me.

I agree. This is NOT what benefits are for.

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 15:44

Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:36

What if the parents can't

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Then he needs to get a job. Any job, and live at home. My DD is graduating this July. She already has a job. Not a great one but a start. She began searching last October. Doesn't pay much so she will live at home, but she won't be seeking benefits so she can take time off doing nothing.

Waitformetoarrive · 02/06/2024 15:41

Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:40

That was my words not ds who are you to judge that my ds is a lazy arse you don't even know him only what has been said on here.

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i say this as a tax payer who thinks you/him are taking the p@@s

Waitformetoarrive · 02/06/2024 15:41

AllTheChaos · 02/06/2024 15:11

Ah it’s definitely changed then, @Waitformetoarrive, Oxbridge never used to allow it

Oxbridge recommend people don’t work, they dont say you are not allowed at the detriment of attending the university.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:40

Waitformetoarrive · 02/06/2024 14:04

No university does not allow students to work. Your DS is spinning bullshit to justify not working and you are just lapping it up! He need to get off his arse and get a job, he is a lazy.

Show quote history

That was my words not ds who are you to judge that my ds is a lazy arse you don't even know him only what has been said on here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 15:36

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 15:14

If your university does not allow kids to work or the course is too punishing, you need to support him. Not expect the taxpayer to do so.

What if the parents can't

OP posts:
AgileMentor · 02/06/2024 15:35

He needs to get a job or claim. UC will push him to work and help him. I keep telling my dad my brother needs to. He’s almost 21 never worked a day in his life yet us 3 girls have all worked from leaving school. Get him to sign up to agencies. I got taken on full time from an agency job and so have 2 of my cousins.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 02/06/2024 15:33

thunk you’re getting a hard time op.

I encouraged my dd to claim UC whilst seeking work after graduation. She applied for everything. Incl cleaning but with no luck.

Dwp were great with her and found her a work placement for a few weeks and as a result she got a job which she loves.

The job market is quite tough rn. Employees want a lot for min wage.

What I would say is if your dad is in student accommodation then claiming UC complicates council tax exemption.

Your ds should get in touch with uni careers esp whilst he is in uni town. They can help
him with cv, applications and volunteering relevant work experience. Is it physio he wants to do?

Holluschickie · 02/06/2024 15:14

If your university does not allow kids to work or the course is too punishing, you need to support him. Not expect the taxpayer to do so.

AllTheChaos · 02/06/2024 15:11

Ah it’s definitely changed then, @Waitformetoarrive, Oxbridge never used to allow it

Waitformetoarrive · 02/06/2024 14:53

AllTheChaos · 02/06/2024 14:45

When did that change? Admittedly I was a student a long time ago 😂

Show quote history

No idea but having 2 kids recently enter uni education, not one uni or course has told students they are not allowed to work whilst studying.

RoseUnder · 02/06/2024 14:48

Time for tough love OP.
Some good advice here.
Your young, healthy, able bodied son shouldn’t get to enjoy a leisurely summer at tax payers’ expense. Even if this money is legally available to him it’s morally wrong to take it.

AllTheChaos · 02/06/2024 14:45

Waitformetoarrive · 02/06/2024 14:04

No university does not allow students to work. Your DS is spinning bullshit to justify not working and you are just lapping it up! He need to get off his arse and get a job, he is a lazy.

Show quote history

When did that change? Admittedly I was a student a long time ago 😂

TheSquareMile · 02/06/2024 14:45

Lacky301 · 02/06/2024 11:03

Ds will not be claiming in any case only if he struggles to find a job and he is willing to do anything.
Has for not working at uni well is it such a bad thing to just concentrate on studies some universities discourage or don't allow.

@Lacky301

Does he have any applications he's waiting to hear about, OP?

Did you see my suggestion about joining the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy?

https://www.csp.org.uk/networks/students/join-member-networks

Join member networks

There are so many ways for you to connect with your peers and other physio professionals. See our list of networks you might like to join.

https://www.csp.org.uk/networks/students/join-member-networks