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Original poster

To push ds into claiming

560 replies

Lacky301 · 31/05/2024 16:44

Ds has just finished uni and never worked through me and ex dp give him £450 a month between us plus I've always bought him the odd thing and gave a bit extra here and there.
Me and his dad are seperated and his dads just received notification that he will now be charged full council tax as ds has finished uni I'm under strain financially. I've told ds he needs to claim universal credit until he finds a job but he keeps saying I want my results first. Am I wrong in pushing him to claim to take some pressure off me and dp. Fwiw he would get around £370 per month as living at home.

OP posts:
Byronada · 04/06/2024 19:06

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 04/06/2024 17:09

The system allows op ds to claim. That’s all there is to it.

There are a lot of unclaimed benefits. What’s happening to ensure it reaches the right people? Is there an outcry about the ethics of this?

So you support healthy young adults claiming off taxpayers. There is no magic money tree, it's people like me working to pay for this nonsense. What a joke.

OriginalUsername2 · 04/06/2024 19:02

Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 17:34

Was it too much to ask for constructive advice rather than ds been labelled lazy and me as a failure.

There was no other way it was going to go tbh. It’s a hot political topic.

velveteens · 04/06/2024 18:57

Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 17:34

Was it too much to ask for constructive advice rather than ds been labelled lazy and me as a failure.

The constructive advice is for your son to get a job, however temporary/casual, whilst he applies for a more career-based role in his industry. NOT claim benefits so he has money for drinking/socialising/takeaways/hobbies etc over the summer.

As his parent, you shouldn't have needed this spelling out.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 17:34

Was it too much to ask for constructive advice rather than ds been labelled lazy and me as a failure.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 17:32

FifiinLondon · 04/06/2024 17:28

OP I had to send dozens and dozens of job applications to find my first job and I was paying my rent thanks to working in a pub. Its not a competition of who has it worse and it is a difficult job market right now but claiming UC is basically telling your DS that he can take the easy way out while he cruises trying to find a job. You are robbing him of his drive and urgency, and I see the harm in this. Now I assume you have a better understanding of your and his situation and ultimately it is your choice, just my humble opinion reading your posts.

Your post is why I came on here to ask if I should push him into claiming as I was on the same thinking pattern as you.

OP posts:
FifiinLondon · 04/06/2024 17:28

OP I had to send dozens and dozens of job applications to find my first job and I was paying my rent thanks to working in a pub. Its not a competition of who has it worse and it is a difficult job market right now but claiming UC is basically telling your DS that he can take the easy way out while he cruises trying to find a job. You are robbing him of his drive and urgency, and I see the harm in this. Now I assume you have a better understanding of your and his situation and ultimately it is your choice, just my humble opinion reading your posts.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 04/06/2024 17:22

He has work experience.
He will have had health setting experience plus he’s had work such as festivals at least.

Opleez · 04/06/2024 17:21

How long will it take to format a cv with no work experience on it, anyway? Can’t he just leave a gap for ‘2:1’?

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 04/06/2024 17:20

His work coach can help with that. It’s not just the money it’s the additional support available.

It’s within their regulations for him to claim.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 17:20

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/06/2024 17:03

This made me smile, like the old story about the parents watching a kids' parade: "Oooo look, they're all out of step except our Johnny!!"

We can all only go on what an OP's said, but if on that information they take one view and practically everyone else takes a different one, maybe - just maybe - it's time to revisit the view?

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Well mumsnet is full of keyboard warriors who delight in taking somebody down seen it happen alot on here doesn't always mean the op is wrong.

OP posts:
FifiinLondon · 04/06/2024 17:15

I am so shocked you are even thinking about him claiming UC when he is a fully functioning adult, with complete ability to find a job... Really doesn't sit right with me. Also about his self esteem, do you really think it would be good for him to start his professional life on this basis, claiming UC? I'm all for benefits for everyone needing it, he doesn't!

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 04/06/2024 17:09

The system allows op ds to claim. That’s all there is to it.

There are a lot of unclaimed benefits. What’s happening to ensure it reaches the right people? Is there an outcry about the ethics of this?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/06/2024 17:03

Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 13:01

Well we have more or less the whole of mumsnett against one person

Show quote history

This made me smile, like the old story about the parents watching a kids' parade: "Oooo look, they're all out of step except our Johnny!!"

We can all only go on what an OP's said, but if on that information they take one view and practically everyone else takes a different one, maybe - just maybe - it's time to revisit the view?

Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 15:12

Holluschickie · 04/06/2024 14:42

DD applied for over 50 before getting a job. I am not trying to be nasty, but her degree is from a top Russell Group university and she worked or did internships throughout uni. She stil had a lot of trouble. 20 applications isn't many.

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Fair enough but it does show a job doesn't always magically pop up

OP posts:
CaribouCarafe · 04/06/2024 14:52

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 04/06/2024 14:25

So will the magic money tree fund a move cross country or abroad ?

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He has a few weeks at least to get saving through a temp job. If the salary is good then he can take out a loan or ask for an advance on his salary to facilitate the move. As he is young his moving costs will be low - the price of a megabus/cheap flight + deposit for a cheap room to set him up for the first few months.

I don't get the mentality of not doing anything because you might not have funds - apply first, save money, if the application is successful then see if funds accrued from temping and saving allow the move, if not then negotiate with the employer, if unsuccessful then at least you got some useful interviewing and application experience.

Not applying is a 100% surefire way of not getting the job

Holluschickie · 04/06/2024 14:42

Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 11:30

Spot on I'm not saying claim benefit instead of a job or to look for one only as a temporary measure as I'm struggling now. Has I said before he may find a job before he receives a penny so you can all calm down and he isn't going to claim yet anyway only of he struggles to get a job.
Just to mention he applied for around 20 jobs previously without any luck.

Show quote history

DD applied for over 50 before getting a job. I am not trying to be nasty, but her degree is from a top Russell Group university and she worked or did internships throughout uni. She stil had a lot of trouble. 20 applications isn't many.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 04/06/2024 14:25

CaribouCarafe · 04/06/2024 12:08

I don't think 20 applications is that many in this job market. He needs to get into a routine of applying for at least one good and long-term role per day as well as applying for whatever temp roles he can per day. Possibly also looking into volunteering/apprenticing/interning in something that will give him experience for his long term career.

If he can't financially afford to take a break, then he needs to be proactive about gaining work and experience. As his tenancy in his uni town is ending soon, he isn't actually constrained to anywhere in the country - he could be applying nationwide or even abroad! I think he needs to think in broader terms than his current approach, especially if there's a chance he's not passed his exams or if he's passed with a third.

So will the magic money tree fund a move cross country or abroad ?

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 04/06/2024 14:24

Itloggedmeoutagain · 03/06/2024 22:21

He isn't seeking a job.
He is waiting for results but in the meantime mum wants him to claim UC

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Even if he were seeking a temporary seasonal job, he should still claim UC while looking.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 13:30

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 04/06/2024 13:16

OP’s ds can claim in his circumstances.

it used to be case that students could claim benefits (IS and HB) in the long summer holidays but that changed years ago to just being able to claim once course finished.

He won’t be in it long and will get support with job seeking.

@Lacky301 I do think you should give less money though as you can no longer afford to do so.

Thanks he most likely won't claim hopefully.

OP posts:
Pinkfluffypencilcase · 04/06/2024 13:16

OP’s ds can claim in his circumstances.

it used to be case that students could claim benefits (IS and HB) in the long summer holidays but that changed years ago to just being able to claim once course finished.

He won’t be in it long and will get support with job seeking.

@Lacky301 I do think you should give less money though as you can no longer afford to do so.

Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 13:05

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/06/2024 11:53

I have no qualms with someone claiming UC if their actual circumstances mean that they can't work, but to have someone not even try and then get encouraged to claim because of their own laziness/incompetence does make me angry

That just about sums it up for me - the different between can't and won't

And no, benefits aren't supposed to be there "just in case" someone can't get a job or whatever; they're intended for those who've genuinely done whatever they can to help themselves and still need assistance

Or at least they were, until folk were enabled to see them as a lifestyle choice

Well actually they are there for that reason also how else are you meant to survive whilst job hunting also how would many of you feel about a bunch of strangers calling your ds lazy and imcompetent because he dared to concentrate on studies and leave off working whilst studying.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lacky301 · 04/06/2024 13:01

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/06/2024 12:13

I don't think 20 applications is that many in this job market

Maybe worth pointing out that, while OP's been quick to mention that "we only have thier word" for what others have done, the same applies here?

Well we have more or less the whole of mumsnett against one person

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/06/2024 12:13

I don't think 20 applications is that many in this job market

Maybe worth pointing out that, while OP's been quick to mention that "we only have thier word" for what others have done, the same applies here?

CaribouCarafe · 04/06/2024 12:08

I don't think 20 applications is that many in this job market. He needs to get into a routine of applying for at least one good and long-term role per day as well as applying for whatever temp roles he can per day. Possibly also looking into volunteering/apprenticing/interning in something that will give him experience for his long term career.

If he can't financially afford to take a break, then he needs to be proactive about gaining work and experience. As his tenancy in his uni town is ending soon, he isn't actually constrained to anywhere in the country - he could be applying nationwide or even abroad! I think he needs to think in broader terms than his current approach, especially if there's a chance he's not passed his exams or if he's passed with a third.

WithACatLikeTread · 04/06/2024 12:05

Beautiful3 · 04/06/2024 09:48

Get him to claim online. Don't tell anyone about it because many people don't like it. I actually lost some friends when they found out I claimed benefits, while I wasn't working. People get quite angry about it. Benefits is a great temporary fix, to get us back on our feet in-between jobs. If he is entitled then ask him to claim for UC.

How did they expect you to pay your bills?