To push ds into claiming

@Lacky301

If he's looking for work until the autumn, OP, I noticed this job vacancy the other day. It might be something which would suit him.

It's in a wonderful place and somewhere I think he would like.

https://www.tresco.co.uk/work-on-tresco/kitchen-porters-tresco-island

Jobs are available. Believe me. I run a restaurant/bar and we are desperate for staff, however casual. £11.75 an hour plus tips. Work is there.

Bit harsh. Just because someone is capable of working, doesn't mean there are jobs available nearby. I worked all uni holidays as a student but it might not be so easy now.
Just to be clear, I wouldn't be giving him money either.

@Lacky301 I agree with @Ohnobackagain. You have been very supportive while your son was studying for his degree but now your son has finished university, and as you are both now struggling, contributions from you and his Dad should stop and you need to just tell him that. It'll be up to him how he finances himself now.

I would give him some 'notice' that after x date, your financial support will have to end and leave it up to him to decide how he is going to financially support himself, while he tries to get a job in his chosen career, because that may take a while.

I suspect, when he says that he wants to stay where he is for another few weeks he simply isn't aware that you and his Dad will now be struggling to financially support him and won't even have given that any thought to that part of things at all. It doesn't make him 'bad' or 'lazy' - but like many young people, having been supported up until now, realities of what it means to support yourself fully as an adult, can take time to fully comprehend and can come as a bit of a shock

YWNBU to tell him you can't afford to keep subsidising him now and he'll have to decide how he wants to get some income. You have had a bad time on here, and it doesn't help to be so strongly criticised when you have asked for advice, but I do think both he and to certain extent you, are being a bit naïve how long it may very well take him to find a job in the field he wants and you are absolutely right to want him to start to stand on his own 2 feet financially.

Actually @Lacky301 I don’t think you or Ex should be giving him money if his studies are done, especially if money is tight for either of you. He’s an adult. He should give some thought to how he is going to pay you for his keep if he is going to be with you for long. And of course it is fine to have some downtime initially. He can always get something part time to tide him over and give him a routine. If he’s keen and looking for work I don’t see an issue.

The advice wasn’t constructive at all because OP was asking about the job seekers allowance portion of UC which is for job seekers and requires 30hrs/week of job seeking activity.

OP was never suggesting he claim benefits instead of looking for work. She didn’t need it spelling out. You and others have reacted based on jumping to the worst case and wholly wrong conclusion.

I think he’s well within his rights to have a bit of time off. Go travelling or whatever before starting work. I’m not sure it’s worth claiming job seekers just yet. Your ex will only be paying the extra 25% so maybe an extra £50 a month but won’t have the uni costs anymore so he won’t be worse off.
If he’s done physio then presumably he’ll be looking for jobs in that area and will come home to do so. I’d let him enjoy his time with his friends and then get to to sign up when he’s home in a few weeks.

This is the real issue people should be up in arms about - idiot Tories have made the country so unappealing that our future healthcare workers are training here, subsidised by our taxes (although not as much as they once were), and then heading off to be treated better in other countries. This is much more of an issue than students claiming a bit of UC. But of course the narrative needs to be about scrounges and the undeserving poor to keep us from interrogating policy too closely.

It might feel like the whole of MN against one person. But the poll shows a completely different story to the comments. It seems 79% of MN think you aren't being unreasonable, it's just the 21% seem to be more likely to express their opinions.
I hadn’t noticed how one sided the poll was in favour of claiming 😮

Sorry you had to endure such a tirade of bullshit from the not-so-silent minority, OP.

Exactly, I don't think you are wrong. Ultimately he's finished university, his student finance isn't meant to cover him any further, you and his father can't afford to support him any more, so he needs his own income. He can do that however he wants. Assuming he's under 25 and not paying any rent he'll only get £311.68 a month to cover his share of the bills wherever he's living and to buy his own food etc. They'll cut that money if he doesn't prove he's looking for work.

So, ultimately, your family can seriously struggle trying to find money to help him survive until he gets work or he puts in a UC claim that should give him that pittance to help him survive while the jobcentre will also push him very hard to get a job ASAP.

It might feel like the whole of MN against one person. But the poll shows a completely different story to the comments. It seems 79% of MN think you aren't being unreasonable, it's just the 21% seem to be more likely to express their opinions.

I hope whatever your hard working son does, his results are good and that his future is bright.

Think you’ve handled it well tbh with the tsunami of negative responses!

Yep your risking your sanity posting on here lol

It is just AIBU though usually. There are some lovely and very supportive sections on MN. This bit just isn't one of them

Constructive advice with a large dose of critism lol

Well to be fair, you did post in AIBU

I've been here for years and have never been that brave.

I agree with you regarding the subsidised bars, but MPs get paid very little for the responsibilities they hold. If we want a parliament that is open to everyone and attracts the best and brightest (not the current shower of entitled idiots) then the salaries need to be commensurate with what’s expected of them.

In no other industry would someone in charge of budgets of billions be barely breaking 6 figures.

Expenses need to be properly scrutinised but it’s fair to allow them - no one else is expected to cover the cost of doing business personally, especially if they have 2 places of work that could be hundreds of miles apart.

But I don’t disagree that if someone is entitled to benefits, they should claim them. I actually really rue that it’s become so much harder to claim the dole - it’s had a terrible effect on creative industries. Musicians, artists, writers could at one point live cheaply in squats and on their dole money whilst they honed their art enough to make it pay (or realise it never would so they needed to get a job). None of that happens anymore, and our culture is poorer for it.

OP, your son has done a good degree with excellent job prospects and he’s got 50+ years of work ahead of him, likely at least partially in the NHS. Why shouldn’t he have a summer of fun before knuckling down and probably paying more tax than most of us on here.

Or he could get a young person’s visa and head off to Australia or Canada to work there. He’ll get paid more and probably be valued better.

There is a job seeking element of UC, which is what OP is asking about.
There is nothing wrong at all with claiming this whilst job hunting (and the Job Centre will be making him look for work).
OP's son might get lucky and get a job fast, and if he does not, he has money for food, clothing, and to take the pressure off of his mum.

i support that people can claim what support is put in place.

The magic money tree had enough money for pay rises for mps, for subsidised parliament bars, for expenses.

I would prefer that those things don’t get funded by tax payers. But a short term support with job seeking advice - yes I do.

There was constructive advice. Your son needs to get a job.