To wonder what’s the point when I’m left with this after bills?

A few things to consider: flexible working: if you could reduce your hours on a temporary basis to take your salary below £50k to get child benefit AND loose the 40% tax, would you gain and also save more on nursery fees (with the less hours) than the extra take home currently is?
If the nursery will still charge regardless for the full week, is it worth considering extra pension contributions to take you down a tax bracket & gaining child benefit? Or reducing hours and doing something else (for yourself)

Alternatively work for a promotion, and/or ask for, and justify a pay rise (women tend not to ask)

@ReLOa I'm a lone parent to DD15.
Early years were absolutely the worst and most expensive and I was on about the same as you when she was 2/3 years old.

Can I ask what you do for work? I know this is going to sound like the last thing you want to hear but if you can, now is the time to try and climb and push yourself hard rather than cave to the pressure of the financial burden of lone parenting.

People often don't get that it's hard as a lone parent despite being on a decent salary.

But if you are in an industry where you can progress and there is higher earning potential...knuckle down and do it now.

Absolutely disgusting isn't it. Its really not that easy to claim DLA.

Thanks again. Yep, we need wealth redistribution to happen or we would all be f*cked.

When I was working ft as a single parent with a dc in ft nursery I was only a tenner a week better off than unemployed on benefits.

But the long term benefits are huge.

Thank you @Tunefultwix at least some people get it😊

I think the OP's situation has little to do with people worse off financially than herself (I'm much worse off, but nevertheless have sympathy for her and her stressful situation), but a lot to do with societal and political issues such as ingrained sexism resulting in lack of childcare support, lack of support from fathers (we don't know in this situation, but too often the child's dad isn't paying half the childcare costs or maintenance towards other expenses, which would make a big difference, or actually looking after the child while OP is at work, depending on his own work requirements), lack of family and community as people tend to live further apart and more isolated than in the past, absurdly high housing costs on top.of the current cost of living issues, cuts to child benefit, etc. etc.. There's a lot that's unfair and should be addressed but I see it as affecting all women, parents, children, and not a reason to bash people on benefits or those like the OP on very high salaries but still finding things hard due to factors that require change at a political level.

I still think that may be where she can find savings. If she can list her fixed outgoings, and any discounts she's already applied and maybe who she's with/ when she last did a price comparison, people may have suggestions.

Eg - are you claiming the 25% single person discount on council tax OP?

I too really hope that the mumsnet hive mind can help her make savings. I agree that it's really shit that someone earning a top 5% salary - who is paying £1400 a month in income tax and NI and hence is subsiding other people in our society - feels like she's struggling and can't afford a day out with her DC.

Once she’s in school you’ll have an extra £1600 to play with - minus wrap around care which won’t be as much. How long til she starts school?

I thought so. Reported. Imagine going on to a thread to personally attack someone and be happy about it.

It's not quite high at all council tax is extortionate, I pay £160 a month on electricity alone, she's likely paying out £400 of that on utilities and council tax then she has car insurance, water, tv licence mobile phone and any credit cards she's forced to use for emergencies such as car maintenance, house repairs or essentials when the money just doesn't stretch.

I know people mean well and hopefully there are some cut backs she can make to scrape by, I honestly hope she wasn't claiming tax free childcare and 15 hours funded or something and she sees this and now she can and life gets abit easier for her. I'm hoping her bill isn't 1800 a month after these things have been used. If it is I would look into a registered child minder instead.

OP, you say you are mortgaged until you are 70. I had to remortgage due to divorce and was then mortgaged until I was 67. As DD has grown up and I have been able to earn more, I work extra hours and pay extra off the mortgage. Now aged 52, I have only got 10 years left, so have managed to knock 5 years off over the past couple of years.

Like I said in my earlier post, it's a long game.

💯

It also forces them out of homeownership into renting. Out of full time jobs that pay high taxes into part time roles and dependency on benefits.
It drags women and children down.

We can't afford this. It's short-sighted and costs the country more in a long run.

It's unbelievable how much better off a married man on 70k would be.

I'm not originally from UK and I was always wondering why the system is so stuck against working mothers and especially succesful single parents.

After spending some time on here it became 💯 clear to me that outdated attitudes and tall poppy syndrome is underneath it all.
God forbit a mother who worked her way up into 5% top salary would be better off then on UC top up . There should be no way out for women according to other women. We should stay at the bottom where we belong and people will never vote for anything to change that.

Now that hard working immigrants are gone and rich investors are leaving UK these toxic attitudes will be keeping UK poorer and less productive. Not to mention young women not wanting to have children in this country.

Yeah and that's all fine and good but OP is expected to pay way more than most into that pool of reasources and take absolutely nothing from it. You think that's fair?

This has opened my eyes massively

She doesn't need to pay back half of the child benefit, she's entitled to 80% of it now the rules changed recently. I'm really really hoping she's either all ready doing it or she's been back to read the helpful advice

And this. People can’t support people like the op though. It’s too much to support a successful woman. Nothing constructive - pop on to personally attack people and then waltz off again.

It is short term in the grand scheme of things but it is so hard to see the wood for the trees in this situation. It’s what is forcing so many talented women out of the workplace and it is criminal. It doesn’t happen in other countries.

How exactly do the individuals who find it difficult to live on £70k imagine people on £20k manage?

Can people stop throwing 70k as if OP really had that money? After childcare costs OP will be left on actual salary closer to someone on 35k not 70k.

Even on 35k, a family with 2 kids like yours will be entitled to UC (even as homeowners), will have no £1700 a month childcare costs. Will be entitled to double tax free allowance and full child benefit. Stay at home mum means there is someone to look after kids when they get sick rather then having to take unpaid time off work etc.
It means family on 35k could easily end up better off then single parent on 70k paying full time childcare costs and not receiving same support as married couple. The system is discriminatory towards single parents.

And OP didn't moan that she's the poorest person in UK so I really don't understand all those post competing to the bottom. What is your point?

Someone who is in top 5% salary in demanding professional job should be better off then posters on lower salaries getting UC on top shouldn't they?

What if OP had two children like you? Do you realise she then would have to quit her job and would be better off working part time and getting benefits then staying in her well paying career with 2 sets of childcare costs?

It's not right.

This.

i agree with @ThisOldThang

I know you can see my posting history. So tell me what constructive advice do you have for the op or did you just post on the thread to personally attack me. Just to clarify.

I see it as the primary purpose. It's supposed to be a general pooling of resources.