To wonder what’s the point when I’m left with this after bills?

The nursery years are completely soul destroying, you feel like you’re working for next to nothing. I totally see where you’re coming from. And being a sole earner you’re missing out on child benefit too. A couple could have the same joint income (or more) and could well be eligible for child benefit, so that sucks too. It’s gets easier once you get the funding after they turn 3.

@SilentSilhouette - she can’t have £1700 left, from that she has to pay pension contributions, council tax, all utilities, petrol, car general costs, insurance, phone, internet etc etc

Then the £570 has to pay for all food, child day to day stuff like new shoes, car seat, days out, house and garden stuff and repairs, Christmas, kids birthday party and gifts, visiting family, .
£140 a week isn’t ‘loads’ spare for someone on £70k.
As it’s going to be used up on op buying food, her child new shoes, laundry powder and a bottle of calpol for example. Next week it will go on food, again, and plumber called out to fixed leak will use up the next two weeks £140 leaving nothing for the rest of the month

Well one day you'll have no nursery bills and your mortgage will be paid off, giving you an additional £2500 per month - on which you'll be able to live very well. That's the point.

Or, if you prefer the alternative, sell your house and move into rented, jack your job in, get a minimum wage job and UC top up and see if that's enjoyable.

Get some perspective.

Council tax
Home insurances
Electricity
Gas
Water and waste water
TV licence
Broadband, phone and TV channels
Car insurance
Vehicle tax
Petrol
Amazon Prime
Mobile phone
Student loan
Debt repayments
Health/dental insurance

There are lots of costs that could whittle your £1,700 down to the £570 OP is left with in her pocket.

It's in the OP:
I have 570 left after all bills and childcare and petrol, excluding food.

If she has a student loan to repay and compulsory pension contributions of 10% then she will have take home pay of about £3500, leaving £1000 a month after paying nursery and mortgage for council tax, utilities, transport, phone, TV, food, clothes etc

How much longer will DC be in nursery?

It feels like a slog now but as soon as they are at school you’ll have more to do fun stuff.

You also obviously have a good career so there will be promotions ahead.

Keep going x

My food bill is about £80 a week for 2 adults.

One of whom is a 19yo swimmer bottomless pit 😂

Student loan repayments might be £320 a month remember.

You're avoiding answering questions...

£70k salary means you take home £4200 a month.

£1600 nursery and £900 mortgage is £2500.

So that leaves you with £1700 each month which is a HUGE amount.

So either there is something you're not telling us (debt payments? Gambling addiction? Huge commuting costs?) or you need to work on your budgeting skills.

I forgot to say that you are not letting your child down by not going to lots of expensive places. Day trips to the beach, a woodland, the park, a picnic. Spending time together in any free way is what they need not you stressing about money. I work term times so I am trying to put some money aside for a couple of more expensive days out in the summer hols but we won't be having a holiday as school holidays are too expensive.

It's not the same as two people earning 35k though because of the tax thresholds and child benefit threshold. It's much more beneficial to have 2 people earning 35k than one earning 70k from a tax efficiency perspective.

OP's figures might include pension contributions as well (yes obviously she could stop these for a bit).

Of course it is possible. You are being ridiculous.
Am now beginning to think you are just being goady rather than tone deaf.

Families up and down the Country manage week in, week out. Many of them without the prospect of being much better off within a year or two and certainly without the prospect of owning their own home in 25 years.

£70k is the same as a couple each earning £30.5k. Suddenly people wouldn't call you a high earning household then....

Except that is just her income.
There will also be the income from the child's father. Plus Council Tax discount.

It's tough running a household on a single salary. I can understand how you are feeling. If my dc was still in full time childcare, I would have to give up work due to living costs. I earn roughly £20k less than you and my mortgage is also £900. Thankfully I only have to pay for wrap around care now. I've had to cut back on everything but as soon as I've paid off some debts (11 months and counting) I will be in a better position. Things I've cut back on:

Tv: I cancelled my sky contract and now watch freeview and I've subscribed to Disney+ and Netflix. At least I know I can cancel these without notice if I need to.
Broadband: the cheapest package possible
Mobile phone: changed to Sim only £8 a month contract once my phone was paid off.
Car insurance: pay annually and save a few pounds each month to pay for it (although this years increase was a massive shock)
Food purchases: Plan carefully and stick to it plus either click and collect or online shopping so you can keep a closer eye on your spending OR the easiest way is to pay in cash. I take out my weekly allowance and I can see what I'm actually spending/have left in my purse.
Child's clothes/ birthday etc: I have a savings account to pay small amounts into to pay for these things.
Cancel anything that isn't essential.
Elec/gas bills: ask provider to reduce direct debits with the agreement that you will pay back anything owed as soon as you can. Tell them you are a single parent as they do understand it makes a difference when paying for childcare.

The cost of living is really high and it's impacting on people with all income levels.

The nursery years and early years of a mortgage are particularly tough. Hopefully childcare costs will reduce and you will start to build up equity. I hope you also are building up a pension. It's delayed gratification I suppose. Hopefully 10-20 years down the line you will really feel better off.

In the short term, survival is the point. A warm dry home, transport, food etc are what you are working to provide.

Childcare is expensive but the flipside is you are presumably providing your child with an environment that is designdd around their needs and staffed by people trained in child development. That's quite a thing to do.

Blimey, I'd be made up if I had £570 left AFTER all the bills and childcare AND petrol. Where's it going, it can't all be on food. Even if you spent £100 a week on food, which is more than I do for myself & teenager, you've got well over £100 left over for treats etc...

Yes

In the financial year ending (FYE) 2022, median household income in the UK before taxes and benefits was £35,000, increasing to £38,100 after taxes and benefits.

so £70k (even with the 40% tax over 50k) is more than most families.

We saved for nursery fees before starting a family (back in the day when you had no free 2 or 3 year old entitlement, & I know nursery was cheaper then, but I had saved 2 years salary before tax & DH had saved similar)

😂😂😂 you think someone earning minimum wage is likely to be better off than someone on 70k? People are delusional.

I'm not sure which benefits would allow a sum as high as that after rent and bills — except medium or higher rate disability benefits with PIP, in which case the money has to go on extra expenses necessitated by the disability, and has to stretch to long term costs rather than, in the OP's case, about two years followed by much higher income to look forward to.

Sounds like OP is finding it very stressful and it can feel it just isn't worth it when you're working so hard, doing everything alone and exhausted. It will get easier, OP, in time. Would cutting work hours be a possibility if it's stressful, or would that leave you worse off?

Is it?!

OP, it might be hard now, but it should be for a set period of time until DC is out of childcare and at school.

It's hard but you have to grit your teeth and get through it. You are playing the long game. I have been there as a single parent with no income and a £700 mortgage. I had to work hard and build my business up to a full time income. Things were tight for a while, caravan holidays, hardly any clothes for myself, no haircuts etc.

You have a house, an asset that you are paying for.

Things might be tight for a while but that is life for a lot of people unfortunately. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, but you need to be proactive and look at ways of saving money.

Download the MSE budget planner and enter everything on there that you spend out in a month and also enter annual costs like birthdays and events etc. Look at what is essential, what is needed and which is neither, which makes it a luxury and therefore can go. Can you switch to own brands for anything, can you buy less of anything. Allow yourself a couple of treats obviously.

You don't need clothes every month and if DC does as they grow, they can be bought cheaply in supermarkets and Primark etc.

You should be able to afford a day out.

This kind of feels a bit goady