To take my child to an ivf appointment

I would ring and ask but ideally not take my child in. Good luck

I think you have to be so sensitive to the feelings of the women in the waiting room. I remember going for my first early scan post IVF and I really forced myself to not look happy when I came out, as there was another couple who were looking devastated. I think those places need to be as quiet and respectful as possible as there can be so much pain and loss in the room.

Good luck with it all.

The fact you're even considering taking your child shows how removed you are from your previous (childless) self.

It's not unfair to state that, it's the truth.

This. You felt like you did at the time as you hadn’t been successful and it seems ridiculous now because you have a child. I personally don’t think it’s very fair to take children to IVF clinics, even if they say it’s ok, speaking as someone that has several miscarriages and several rounds of ivf. Best of luck with your next round.

I feel like you now consider your previous reaction ridiculous because you managed to conceive. You’re not in the same position as many of the women in the waiting area will be, anymore, and you’ve lost sight of what it felt like.

I was in a hospital which had a joint waiting room for the maternity patients and the gynaecological oncology patients, and it was awful. Sitting there, having had my reproductive organs removed, waiting to find out if I had cancer and surrounded by bumps and babies and toddlers. I’ve never forgotten how I felt about that organisational choice.

Taking your child in to meet the doctors, knowing that you’re possibly making everyone in the waiting room feel like you did? Yeah, it’s pretty selfish IMHO.

It’s very kind of you to be sensitive to other people but needs must. I took DC to my appointments when I had to, the staff were fine about it and yes, the treatment room walls had thank you cards with baby photos pinned up. As soon as patients step outside the clinic they’re bound to see a child sooner or later, why should you pretend your longed-for one doesn’t exist within the clinic?! As you say, it can offer hope that treatment does work. Good luck with your next round x

I think if you remember being vividly upset by seeing children at the IVF clinic, it would be unfair to do that to other women.

I've had 3 failed IVF attempts, loss of pregnancies and many many other procedures so I've been there and agree seeing women with children is hurtful even if it is unreasonable or sensitive. I think if I were lucky enough to have a child I wouldn't put others through that.

I hated seeing kids in the clinic when I was going through treatment, until I managed to have DS1. When I was back at the clinic for subsequent cycles I tried to avoid taking DS1 with me, but once or twice it was unavoidable (single parent, no family nearby) .

OP I’d do whatever you can to avoid bringing your child into the clinic, but if it has to be done then so be it.

Just take her. You can’t help what the other people who may or may not be there, may or may not feel.

The two clinics I used didn't allow children

Guess as rubs peoples noses in it esp those who have failures

Plus people don't always listen and concentrate to what the ivf clinics say if keeping an eye on their child

I agree with others you answered the question yourself. Some people waiting would be pleased, some won't care, some may find it upsetting especially if there appointment is for bad news. The risk of upsetting a few would be enough for me to take the option you set out.

I was in your almost exact situation. Personally I disliked there being children around, though there always were. In my case though, the clinic was part of a larger hospital and there were many other different specialities with adjacent waiting rooms so there would've been children around anyway, and their policy was children are fine in the corridor in the waiting rooms, and in the consultation room for small kids only for the initial appointment, not for any treatment. It came in handy when we went back again and had no childcare and a long drive. But apart from the appointment we both had to be at at the same time one of us took him to a nearby park instead to avoid having him there.

Thank you, and to you

Our local fertility clinic also does early private scans for pregnant women. It's pretty horrible seeing some couples come outside bursting into tears and others coming out all excited and clutching their scan pictures.

Could you drive together, do your appointments separately one after the other and take it in turns to have DD?

If you can organise some other card for DD, do so -- for your own sake as much as anything; you can't expect to take her everywhere and it's time to have some backup. But if you can't get something in place in time for this particular clinic meeting, don't feel bad. Remember, however sad those of us with infertility can feel at the sight of other families, it's the infertility, not someone else's child, that is the problem.

When I had ivf there were photos of babies in the corridor. I wouldn't have thought twice about seeing a 4 year old or baby. It's not as if I could've avoided them in real life anyway plus I would've been too wrapped up in my own head to notice much. Take her if you need to and the clinic allows.

@Itsgivingmehvibes unfortunately we are two years, three retrievals, five transfers and three miscarriages into the sibling round but hoping that our luck changes very soon.

My first appointment to get started again I literally just spoke things through with the consultant, I think I possibly had a scan to check all looked well (c section with my DD). DH didn't come to that one. To be perfectly honest, he's not been "required" for any except the egg collections when obviously he has a role to play, even the FETs I have often done alone although he does try to come to them. I guess he might need to sign some forms, though our clinic do that online.

What ours usually does for FET cycles is the initial consultation to talk through the plan, a chat with the nurse about the meds then potentially a baseline scan at day 2 of the cycle. Then scan again day 8/9 to see how things are going, maybe scan again a couple of days later then set the date for the transfer.

Given the journey you need to make I'd honestly ring and ask them if you can do the initial consultation via video call, I've done loads of my consultations like that and I'm only 15 minutes from the clinic!

My daughter is starting to understand a bit that mummy is going to see the doctor though she doesn't know why, she would love a baby sibling and honestly protecting her is the hardest part of the whole process. I truly wish you a smooth journey to number 2.

My clinic specifically didn't allow children and I'm surprised some do! I'd have been extremely upset if there had been children in the waiting room when we went for our appointments. Personally I'd never take my little one along

Not sure a video/photo would have given them much insight into the type of relationship I had with my child. I mean IVF is not a quick process, especially for those of us who struggle so in a decent clinic the staff really get on board, know your journey etc. or maybe I just got really and have an awesome clinic (I DO have an awesome clinic for who I will be forever grateful).

Don’t take her, you said yourself it was upsetting seeing children there. I remember seeing a baby in the waiting room at my clinic and you could see all the other women looked so uncomfortable.