To take my child to an ivf appointment

Well judging by my experience, clearly not. It’s just come back to me that when I was at my clinic this week there was a preschooler in the waiting area. This is a different clinic to my first experience too.

If ever there’s a place to be safe from kids, surely it’s during fertility treatment at the clinic?

I remember leaving the clinic after my first egg collection to see the lady next to me being greeted by her toddler. It did sting but you can’t avoid children completely.

We’re second time IVF’ers now and I’ve left my DD at home for the longest time we’ve ever been apart for the appointments so far. Can’t guarantee I’ll have childcare available for every appointment so this is a dilemma I can see myself facing imminently.

Please, for the love of god, don’t take your child. Please.

You’ve been where those women are. Not all of them will be lucky enough to be where you are.

I would love to know how many people have actual IVF experience on this thread. Plus it’s a very different experience if IVF works for you, for lots of people turn it never does

Ffs mute eye setting

Is nursery setting

Can't edit as on app

It's only on MN that no one cares about anything but themselves and their tiny isolated world

You sound nice. Screw everyone else, as long as you get to show off your child at the expense of everyone else's feelings. You even admit no IVF experience.

Can uou pay for childcare - temp nanny - I did this for years

Or a day at a xm or mute eye setting

As I said the two clinics I used had notices on walls saying no children

And quite understandable

But yes clinics do like knowing the outcome and each year on mini blondes birthday I do email and send a pic saying thanks and they reply

The first birthday they did a huge reply saying so lovely to see a pic of her

They always reply

I noticed a few responses here have mentioned feeling 'hopeful' and 'optimistic' when seeing children/babies in clinics. However, those posters seem to have gone on to have a child/children .
Perhaps that impacts the memory somewhat.
As someone who will never be able to have a child via IVF or any other route, I only remember feeling incredibly sad and anxious seeing happy couples/children/images of children as I waited (feeling very, very alone) for my appointments.
I appreciate that circumstances can be awkward but please, Op, think of any way possible to attend your appointment without your child. It's hard enough going through every day life and seeing what you can't have. I really think these clinics need to be a bit of a safe place for those of us who will never be able to give birth.

Could you leave her with a friend OP? I know you e said you live abroad but please try reach out and build a network - for your own general well-being not just this appointment

That is shocking. Absolutely shocking.

I am puzzled that in all the years you have been in this country you haven’t made a friend who can take your child for an appointment? Not a school mum friend or neighbour or anything?

The only people who can tell you are the receptionist/ dr at the clinic so give them a call and see what they say.

I am. Thanks :)

No IVF experience but I can honestly say the doctors and nurses who helped save DSs life Def ARE interested, have loved the random opportunities when we've seen them and they've had their "Wow" moment etc. It's only on MN that no one cares about anything but themselves and their tiny isolated world

You sound fun.

Op you don't actually have any choice but to take her, and if they have to wait for you to go out to the car and DH to come in possibly several times,it's likely to make the appt run late.
Call the clinic and take their advice. See if there's time to keep swapping over etc or if they have a quiet room you can wait in

It's very unusual for ivf clinics to allow children in waiting rooms. Personally I couldn't take my dc in; just doesn't seem fair. I was at an appt at a fertility clinic that mainly specialised in recurrent miscarriage and the receptionist had to run in for something with her 4 year old and she was so apologetic about it bless her. There were times in my many years of treatment when I wouldn't have minded seeing a baby or child and other times where it would have felt like being punched in the gut. Can your dh join by video call and electronically sign? Some clinics have switched to video appts after covid. Pre covid I remember one clinic being very clear dh had to come to sign something but after covid things changed a bit.

I remember trying so hard not to be upset by all the large canvas prints of babies along the corridors of the clinic we went to. My head knew they were trying to convey optimism about the outcome, but it was raw because we knew our chances were so slim. It would have cut me to the bone if there had actually been a pregnant lady or someone with a child in there.

I know that is really unreasonable, but emotions are running so high and so wild when you're on the infertility journey that I think it is also completely understandable.

And I am another one echoing this sentiment.

I also remember a noticeably pregnant nurse who was absolutely lovely but I absolutely hated her.

I never said you wouldn't feel those things this time round!!

It was YOU would said it was a whole different situation this time round. I simply reminded you that for those individuals in the waiting room, for them it's their FIRST time feeling the feelings you felt last time. They'll be feeling the exact same feelings you felt the first time. I never said you wouldn't also feel them.

I'm going through ivf end of year, I personally wouldn't mind. However, we are at the first stage where we aren't desperate and in despair. A year or so later if we had no joy I'd probably rather not see kids in the waiting room.

I think I'd be less bothered by kids though than babies. Kids don't tend to make me broody, babies and toddlers do.

For YOU it's a whole different situation this time. For the other sensitive, anxious, upset individuals in the waiting room it's not. It's the exact same upset, burning, hurting, upset that you felt the first time round.

Agreed.

If the IVF does end up working out this time then you will have to work out some kind of childcare support. I’m assuming in the country you’re in you won’t be able to take your child to scans / antenatal classes / giving birth etc