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Original poster

Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

378 replies

userloadsofnumbers · 31/05/2024 13:42

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 02/06/2024 08:55

userloadsofnumbers · 02/06/2024 08:46

Hi - op here. I'm actually away this weekend so haven't shown this thread to DH yet but I'm reassured that so many people agree with me (partner A)!

Someone mentioned if it's his guests leave him to it and I have done that when it's his male friends staying over on their own - but I still worry that it's me being judged when they don't have clean bedding! If it's a family/females staying I make sure sheets are changed.

I wonder if you asked your male partners whether the responses would be different and they really don't mind? Would be interesting to get their views too! I really hope on the back of this DH and I can stop arguing over whether it needs doing or not and just do it (or the ideal scenario stop inviting so many people to stay over as it's bloody hassle!)

The thing that stood out for me is that he said his DM and DSis agree too!

archer240200 · 02/06/2024 08:53

userloadsofnumbers · 02/06/2024 08:46

Hi - op here. I'm actually away this weekend so haven't shown this thread to DH yet but I'm reassured that so many people agree with me (partner A)!

Someone mentioned if it's his guests leave him to it and I have done that when it's his male friends staying over on their own - but I still worry that it's me being judged when they don't have clean bedding! If it's a family/females staying I make sure sheets are changed.

I wonder if you asked your male partners whether the responses would be different and they really don't mind? Would be interesting to get their views too! I really hope on the back of this DH and I can stop arguing over whether it needs doing or not and just do it (or the ideal scenario stop inviting so many people to stay over as it's bloody hassle!)

Men will not mind.
Kids will not mind.
Women might, but just ask them?
Might be surprised.

Grammarnut · 02/06/2024 08:52

Not change the bedding between guests? Ugh! Of course you do, and wash it all. House to be tidy. Very unwelcoming if dishes piled up etc. Looks as if no care has been taken to welcome guests. My late DH was very hot on this one and he was entirely correct! I shouldn't want to come to stay with B. I don't know if the sheets are clean! (NB have met people like B - don't stay with them!)

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/06/2024 08:50

We use the spare room a lot ourselves when one of us needs to sleep in peace. If we had a guest staying for one night only we might not always change the bed linen afterwards just for ourselves. But we would always put clean bed linen on for a guest. Anything else is just gross.

Hopper123 · 02/06/2024 08:49

Partner A all the way with the bed linen with the general tidiness that would depend on who was coming some people I would just do a quick swizz round and there would still be toys etc lying around wouldn't hide the overflowing washing basket etc but some would be a deep thorough clean and hide all the cluttery stuff I wouldn't have time to sort

Original poster
userloadsofnumbers · 02/06/2024 08:46

Hi - op here. I'm actually away this weekend so haven't shown this thread to DH yet but I'm reassured that so many people agree with me (partner A)!

Someone mentioned if it's his guests leave him to it and I have done that when it's his male friends staying over on their own - but I still worry that it's me being judged when they don't have clean bedding! If it's a family/females staying I make sure sheets are changed.

I wonder if you asked your male partners whether the responses would be different and they really don't mind? Would be interesting to get their views too! I really hope on the back of this DH and I can stop arguing over whether it needs doing or not and just do it (or the ideal scenario stop inviting so many people to stay over as it's bloody hassle!)

OP posts:
archer240200 · 02/06/2024 08:43

CadyEastman · 01/06/2024 22:44

Yeah because washing one set of bed linen is just so time consuming that the rest of us never get to sit down or drink wine...

Show quote history

Loads of things done once are not time-consuming. You can still choose whether to do them or not. And you do, and that’s fine, but it’s not the law.

Turns out, people are also quite happy to bring their own top sheet & pillowcase and take them home to wash (older generation mainly).

¯\(ツ)/¯!

lucindasspunkyfunkyvoice · 02/06/2024 07:40

B is a lazy slob

KikiShaLeeBopDeBopBop · 02/06/2024 07:34

@Okaygoahead you can change your vote

Okaygoahead · 02/06/2024 06:39

I hit the wrong button. Partner A is correct.

changeme4this · 02/06/2024 02:39

I think it’s just respectful towards your guests to ensure a fresh bed and at least a run around with the vac and fresh towels/soap.

if ‘you’ are unable to provide this, don’t invite people around!

EBearhug · 02/06/2024 01:30

SnowFrogJelly · 02/06/2024 00:51

Home is different to a hotel.. no guests are going to have sex when staying with friends/family

Show quote history

Why do you think that?

They might not have loud sex, maybe. Or try not to.

SnowFrogJelly · 02/06/2024 01:07

Riiiiight.
Course not

Yeah right
Not my guests

Alwaysgothiccups · 02/06/2024 00:58

SnowFrogJelly · 02/06/2024 00:51

Home is different to a hotel.. no guests are going to have sex when staying with friends/family

Show quote history

🤣
Riiiiight.
Course not
🤣

Alwaysgothiccups · 02/06/2024 00:58

Wow.. I'm one of those yuck people who doesn't change thier own bedding more than once a month but even I agree with partner A!!
I would NEVER leave bedding on a bed that had been used by a previous person for a new guest. That is grim. No one wants to sleep on some random other petsons used bedding.

SnowFrogJelly · 02/06/2024 00:51

Basicallyluls · 01/06/2024 21:35

Ask partner B. If he'd be ok when he goes to a hotel and only one guest stayed the night before so they didn't change the bed. How gross is that. Even one night can mean sweat, sex juices, drool on the pillow...

Home is different to a hotel.. no guests are going to have sex when staying with friends/family

Pickled21 · 02/06/2024 00:51

Partner B has low standards.

SnowFrogJelly · 02/06/2024 00:49

YABU
I'm with partner B all the way
Can't believe some posters reaction to this

RealHedgehog · 02/06/2024 00:45

Partner A is 100% right

bangs gavel

CadyEastman · 01/06/2024 22:44

archer240200 · 01/06/2024 21:15

You’re all 100% nuts.

Presumably it’s your own home, and they’re friends or family, so they won’t a) notice or b) care. They really won’t. And if they do? Why make life so difficult. Just roll with it.

(If you’re running an AirBnB then sure, knock yourself out, because the guests are paying for that to be done.)

But honestly, nobody who is important to you thinks this is worthwhile use of your time or resources.

Feel free to disagree, but I’ll be the one sipping a chilled Chablis, whilst watching you hang the sheets out.

Again.

Yeah because washing one set of bed linen is just so time consuming that the rest of us never get to sit down or drink wine...

Greenshed · 01/06/2024 22:41

If it were me, I’d be changing the bed linen and doing a quick tidy round. Quite simply because I wouldn’t like to be getting into a bed that hadn’t been changed, so wouldn’t expect anyone else to have to.

shehasglasses48 · 01/06/2024 22:03

Bed linen definitely needs to be changed in between guests .

Basicallyluls · 01/06/2024 21:35

Ask partner B. If he'd be ok when he goes to a hotel and only one guest stayed the night before so they didn't change the bed. How gross is that. Even one night can mean sweat, sex juices, drool on the pillow...

Sennelier1 · 01/06/2024 21:31

I always change bedding in between guests. If the same guests come back but only after 2 months or so I also take down the bedding, put freshly washed on the bed shortly before guests arrive (and same with towels in the guestroom). For my young grandsons (cousins) I change the fitted sheet and the pillow cases if one has only slept in the bed one or two nights. After a longer stayover I change the bedding completely.

Milliemoo6 · 01/06/2024 21:16

I'm guessing partner A is a woman and partner B is a man?! 😬