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Original poster

Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

378 replies

userloadsofnumbers · 31/05/2024 13:42

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

OP posts:
justasking111 · 31/05/2024 14:05

Partner A Needs to stop being a doormat and refuse visitors. We live in a tourist area. Friends spend every bank holiday and school holidays clearing up and catering for their extended families.

It really is bloody cheeky @userloadsofnumbers

MiddleAgedDread · 31/05/2024 14:05

I sometimes change sheets but don't wash them e.g if person A stays a night, then person B stays, and then person A is coming back in the near future. I'd take A's sheets off, put fresh ones on for B and then put A's back on again. But I wouldn't expect someone to sleep in another person's sheets unless perhaps it was their spouse / partner.

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 31/05/2024 14:05

@Myblindsaredown eh? You wouldn't sleep in a bed your spouse had slept in the night before?

GogAndMagog · 31/05/2024 14:04

I'm with A!

I once stayed at a friend's who pulled out her couch bed and the bedding was on there already. It stank do much I thought I'd be physically sick.
Student house but so grim.

After that, I always bought my own pillowcase whenever I stay anywhere.
Just in case.

So J would always give guests clean pillow cases even if they didn't mind their mum's bedding. 😊

Myblindsaredown · 31/05/2024 14:04

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 31/05/2024 14:03

Partner A definitely in the right.

Only circumstances where I would consider not changing bed linen would be if first visitor only stayed one night and second visitor was very closely related and/or spouse.

Confused
MiddleAgedDread · 31/05/2024 14:04

Would B be happy if they went to a hotel and the sheets hadn't been changed since the previous guests stayed?

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 31/05/2024 14:03

Partner A definitely in the right.

Only circumstances where I would consider not changing bed linen would be if first visitor only stayed one night and second visitor was very closely related and/or spouse.

Original poster
userloadsofnumbers · 31/05/2024 14:03

Unsurprisingly, I am Partner A. I will be showing this thread to DH. Who is wonderful in many ways and he has improved massively since I met him but this is a recurring argument. Given most of the guests are his, I do think he is unreasonable when he refuses to do it because "it's fine" and "no-one else cares".

OP posts:
Theyhadsomehoneyandplentyofmoney · 31/05/2024 14:03

Oh god just the thought of it makes me want to book a hotel..

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 31/05/2024 14:02

Well, I hope you’re A.

Bringbackthebeaver · 31/05/2024 14:02

I would always wash the bedding between guests.

Having said that, I do think there is an element of upbringing etc and I only learned how important this is in my 20's.

I grew up in a not very affluent part of the country, and it wasn't the norm for people to change bedding then.

Most times when I stayed at friends/ family houses it wasn't changed and I never questioned it. Fresh bedding was a bit of a novelty. Sounds grim thinking about it now but it's all about the standards you are used to I guess.

stayathomer · 31/05/2024 14:02

I couldn’t sleep in a bed where I knew somebody had slept in the same sheets and I’m in general a relaxed person on cleaning etc

Theyhadsomehoneyandplentyofmoney · 31/05/2024 14:02

IThinkAdversePossessionApplies · 31/05/2024 13:59

Please say you're Partner A, OP!

Op is definitely partner A. No way would partner B advertise how grim they are (because they know they are really!)

reesewithoutaspoon · 31/05/2024 14:01

Change between visitors, unless it was a last minute thing and it was a female relative and previous guest was a female relative also, and I would check it was ok. Otherwise I would put the spare bedding on (which isn't as nice )

FineWordsButterNoParsnips · 31/05/2024 14:01

Don't let your grubby boyfriend make you doubt yourself.

loropianalover · 31/05/2024 14:01

Bed linen ABSOLUTELY needs to be changed between every guest.

If you host people regularly and for free/out of the goodness of your hearts, I don’t think it’s fair to always need the house to be immaculate. You have to be comfortable too. A few dishes in the sink or things on the counter is fine. But ‘piled high’ - no. It sounds like partner B is just dirty honestly.

Myblindsaredown · 31/05/2024 14:00

Who are the folks who think b is right,,,jeez hope I never stay at your house.🤮

Theyhadsomehoneyandplentyofmoney · 31/05/2024 14:00

LongIslander · 31/05/2024 13:44

Partner B is a total pig.

What kind of animals don't wash bedlinen between guests?

😂😂 yes

Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 31/05/2024 14:00

If we have guests staying for one or two nights will leave bed linen on but make a note of who used it. If same person coming back then it stays - if a different person then change and clean room.
We have family members who stay quite often - will put their bedding in a bag between stays if bed needs to be used by someone else.
Useful in winter when difficult to get bedding dry.

Strictlymad · 31/05/2024 13:59

Partner a is my kind of person, remind me never to visit partner b or their family…..

IThinkAdversePossessionApplies · 31/05/2024 13:59

Please say you're Partner A, OP!

Sahara123 · 31/05/2024 13:59

Judging by the thread earlier where people wash their new bedding before they use it for the first time I imagine most people would want clean bedding between guests ! I certainly would. I can’t imagine not tidying the dishes away either , and I’m by no means a neat freak

Womp · 31/05/2024 13:59

A is correct.

B is a dirty pig, and I bet £10 they're male.

Myblindsaredown · 31/05/2024 13:58

Christ what’s wrong with b then, that’s basic hygiene, of course you change the bed linen and habe a clean and tidy house. I’d be sideyeing b with disdain.

yeesh · 31/05/2024 13:57

B is gross 🤮

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