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Original poster

Should I pay for it from my allowance?

89 replies

Calmandfree · 31/05/2024 13:31

Every month both mine and DH salary goes into the same account. We each take out pocket money. Every 6 weeks I visit my home town in the North East to see my mother and step-father (who has a terminal illness and is frequently unwell) which is a 3 hour drive. I stay overnight, sometimes in a travelodge as may not be appropriate depending on step father to stay with my mother (they live in a 2 bedroom flat), or with a friend.

Question is should I pay for the petrol, food for my time there if I eat out and travelodge if I stay overnight, in your opinion out of my monthly allowance/pocket money or should it come out of the joint money?

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 31/05/2024 13:42

If you was all going, joint money… just you, your money.

Jadedandlost · 31/05/2024 13:42

Joint money. You need to talk to him so that can see that you have additional expense because he didn’t want to move.

Original poster
Calmandfree · 31/05/2024 13:41

ComtesseDeSpair · 31/05/2024 13:39

How much “fun money” is there to go around? If you only end up with a few hundred each to last the month then I can understand DH’s point of view that you wanting to dip in and take half of what he’d otherwise have when he’d perhaps already allocated that money for his own plans is going to leave him short.

Edited

No. I wouldn't use his allocated pocket money I was referring to taking it from the remainder of our joint salary for which there is more than enough remaining to pay for it.

OP posts:
Barrenfieldoffucks · 31/05/2024 13:40

Joint money tbh

Original poster
Calmandfree · 31/05/2024 13:40

Blankname22 · 31/05/2024 13:36

Your own money. But I do find it a strange setup because of you are married, isn't the money all shared anyway?
It's more a case of which pocket you take it from, but at the end of the day, does it mean you are denying yourself anything throughout the month to afford this?
If so, lower your contribution to the joint account, by a proportion of that cost. I don't believe your commitments to family should have an impact on you alone.

Well it comes out of my pocket money so whilst it's joint money it's essentially my money for the month. The remainder of the joint salary goes on bills etc and savings.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 31/05/2024 13:39

How much “fun money” is there to go around? If you only end up with a few hundred each to last the month then I can understand DH’s point of view that you wanting to dip in and take half of what he’d otherwise have when he’d perhaps already allocated that money for his own plans is going to leave him short.

Original poster
Calmandfree · 31/05/2024 13:37

@Shouldbedoing no he's not objecting. I just wonder what others take on it is. DH didn't want to move to the North East so we made a joint decision to live where we are whilst DC are young but I have to use my allowance to pay to visit my family whereas he keeps his money to use for purchases for himself. I am just wondering if it's a little unfair? or not?

OP posts:
Blankname22 · 31/05/2024 13:36

Your own money. But I do find it a strange setup because of you are married, isn't the money all shared anyway?
It's more a case of which pocket you take it from, but at the end of the day, does it mean you are denying yourself anything throughout the month to afford this?
If so, lower your contribution to the joint account, by a proportion of that cost. I don't believe your commitments to family should have an impact on you alone.

KarmenPQZ · 31/05/2024 13:36

Do you buy her a Christmas present? If so which pot does it come out of?

does general petrol come out of your allowance?

PossumintheHouse · 31/05/2024 13:35

If your husband has to go away, does he pay for petrol and an overnight stay out of his allowance? What's the precedent?

I would think the things you've mentioned should come out of joint money. You're not exactly spending frivolously on a treat.

Original poster
Calmandfree · 31/05/2024 13:35

Agree @Abitorangelooking but his family are a 10 minute drive away and he didn't want to move to the North East.

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 31/05/2024 13:35

You need more 'walking around money' for this difficult period of time. If you have enough money, that shouldn't be an issue. Is your DH objecting/tight fisted?

wangaaf · 31/05/2024 13:34

your allowance

Abitorangelooking · 31/05/2024 13:33

Your family , your costs but same would go with his family. If you are struggling perhaps increase allowance for both of you.

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