Why don't women with kids force the dads to have them 50% of time?

And just as an example of life in these homes. My children didn't ask where there dad was for just over two weeks when he initially left. Two weeks of thinking nothing was different. We are not talking about involved parents here.

Exactly this.

Everyone incredulous at the OP, when in reality men do this to mothers all the time.

That old chestnut..

I wonder if you know anyone in this position? My friends exDH "likes to go out on Fridays, to see his mates!" Another has their Teenager over and lets him smoke!.Another will have them if she doesnt mind driving them 160 miles each way!Obv they are all pretty disinterested !

1. How? You can't make an irresponsible/ uncaring arse into something they're not.
2. It wouldn't be fair to children to be around someone who didn't want them.there. I grew up with a parent who never wanted kids. Fucking awful existence

We do 70/30. I'd rather know my child is here with me not being stuffed full of sweets and left watching tv all night and day.

As a woman without children I can clarify that I'm still capable of intelligent thought, empathy, kindness and understanding the importance of a loving home for a child. I can also see the flaws in the bizarre suggestion of attempting to dump some poor kids on a neglectful, disinterested parent.

I suspect the OP is the rarity, not me.

You can't force something like that and if dads are not prepared to do 50/50 for whatever reason, it would not be a happy state of affairs for the children.

How exactly do plan on enforcing this OP?

“Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be without them?”

😂

Theoretically the same way men force women to have their kids most of the time.

Hand them over and walk away.

It's utterly inconceivable isn't it?

My Kids went through a stage when they were desperate for thier Dad to spend time with them, both before and after we split, in fact it was one of the reasons we did.

I couldnt make him when we were married, and I damn sure cant make him now we are divorced. Its his loss, but he is a fucktard.

It is a lovely idea.

It's not that it wouldn't be great.

It's that it wouldn't work and children would suffer.

You are getting flamed here OP, but IKWYM. Don't want to generalise, there are some awful mothers, but we rarely hear the phrase 'unfit father' or consider men not spending adequate time with their offspring to be child neglect.

I think it is child neglect. Yet so many men get away with it, apparently without much damage to their character or reputation.

Not many women would want their kids spending days on end with some miserable resentful father though, and they'd feel too guilty about making them unhappy.

Responsible fatherhood has a depressingly low bar.

Can I borrow your magic wand?

You clearly haven't reached the stage in your life yet where you realise you can't make people do things 😂

Having marriage issues at the mo. 😔
I'm guessing OP, it's because men who have affairs and leave/bail tend to do so because they want freedom from domesticity so unsurprisingly turn into slippery little eels when it comes to deciding custody arrangements.
Having said that, I do know a lovely guy who has 50/50 but he only has one child and pretty sure his marriage broke down due to him and his wife having incompatible personalities, rather than one or other getting itchy feet.

how can you force them??

also it is damaging for your child to spend 50% of the time with someone who was forced and doesn’t want them, sometimes it’s even dangerous

If they were useless as a parent when you were there living with them, why would you ever want to leave your child alone with them?

😂😂 my ex laughed and said no way when my daughter suggested living with him. Apparently he has to work so couldn’t possibly do 50/50 never mind his social life. Yes I know! 🙄 He is a better very part time dad now then when we were together and that’s better for the kids. My home is their home and they know who has stepped up
when necessary…

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them

Yeah you probably should have left the Topic there OP

Sorry, I still don't understand.

So if a man is an absent he gets sent to jail where he still won’t pay for them and still won’t see them but will take up space in a jail using public money? Here is Scotland prisons are so overcrowded they are having to release some prisoners early so I don’t see how this policy would help anyone, especially not the children.

My brother is an absent parent to all bar one of his children and he couldn’t care less tbh because he is an entitled arsehole (and of course it’s all the DC’s mothers fault naturally). I can’t envisage anything that could happen that would make him care for those DC and why would their Mothers want to force their child with someone who doesn’t give a shit about them?

I don’t think you still get it! Thankfully it’s not my/our situation but if you love you children you’re never going to leave them with someone who doesn’t care for them appropriately regardless of what the law says. When you’re a good parent you do what’s in the interest of your children regardless.

Why on earth would anyone force a man to look after their children when the adult doesn’t want to?
Poor children clearly at a higher risk in such a situation, regardless of what the law says.