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Original poster

Why don't women with kids force the dads to have them 50% of time?

366 replies

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:43

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

OP posts:
Isis1981uk · 31/05/2024 12:26

My ex has chosen to live 4 hours away, so it's not realistic to do EOW, let alone 50/50! Even if he did have them 50/50, how would it even work with school - an 8 hour round trip twice a day to school? He chooses to see them around 4-5 weeks a year during school holidays, and to be honest, it suits us all better including the kids.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 31/05/2024 12:25

Laiste · 31/05/2024 12:24

This is not another AI bot is it?

Only if AI stands for 'Absolute Ignorance'.

LittleGreenDragons · 31/05/2024 12:25

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:58

There should be a law that makes it a criminal offence not to, and it should have a jail sentence.
Fathers shouldn't only be financially responsible for their kids, they should take on the life burden of them too.

Show quote history

I suspect many men would prefer jail to looking after their own kids. Three meals a day provided for them, laundry, no life admin, no bills - compared to shopping, cooking bathing , life admin, picking/dropping off for school, looking after them when sick etc

Very funny OP. Not.

JamSandle · 31/05/2024 12:25

Forcing kids on someone who has no interest in parenting them is dangerous.

Laiste · 31/05/2024 12:24

This is not another AI bot is it?

beergiggles · 31/05/2024 12:24

Don't be silly op

alittleprivacy · 31/05/2024 12:22

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:43

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

People who love their children don't usually want them to have to spend time in the care of people who don't love them.

RedHelenB · 31/05/2024 12:21

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:43

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

You can't force them. Unless you yourself abandon your children and then presumably the fathers would step up. But that's a big risk and I couldn't do that.

MyBreezyPombear · 31/05/2024 12:21

You're making those of us without kids look incredibly naive

Piddypigeon · 31/05/2024 12:21

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:58

There should be a law that makes it a criminal offence not to, and it should have a jail sentence.
Fathers shouldn't only be financially responsible for their kids, they should take on the life burden of them too.

Show quote history

But there is no such legislation. Does this answer your frankly speaking absolutely ignorant and stupid question?

TwattyMcFuckFace · 31/05/2024 12:20

TheShellBeach · 31/05/2024 12:15

It's a typical comment from a childless woman, really.

They don't understand.

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See I really don't think it is.

I know childless women of all ages and I can't think a single one of them wouldn't realise this would be a cruel move for the children involved.

Not to mention completely unsafe.

Piddypigeon · 31/05/2024 12:19

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:43

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

would love to know how you would enforce it?

its probably the same silly women who also fail to ensure they receive maintenance.

Mozzarellaballs · 31/05/2024 12:19

I would be so upset not having my children for half the week, part of the reason I didn't want to split up because I couldn't bear not having them for Christmas etc but luckily we work round it good although I do feel guilty that exh doesn't have them all the time like when we were together

Myblindsaredown · 31/05/2024 12:17

TheShellBeach · 31/05/2024 12:15

It's a typical comment from a childless woman, really.

They don't understand.

Show quote history

This isn’t about being childless I think. I suspect the op is very young, teenage.

Mumz0612 · 31/05/2024 12:16

If my ex had my youngest he'd kill her to get back at me for leaving him ( he told me he'd do it as I left him due to dv)

TheShellBeach · 31/05/2024 12:15

TwattyMcFuckFace · 31/05/2024 12:14

This isn't even naivety.

I'm not sure what to call it really.

It's a typical comment from a childless woman, really.

They don't understand.

TheShellBeach · 31/05/2024 12:14

Would you have felt safe, secure, wanted and protected by your own deadbeat dad, if he'd been forced to look after you 50% of the time?

TwattyMcFuckFace · 31/05/2024 12:14

This isn't even naivety.

I'm not sure what to call it really.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 31/05/2024 12:13

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 12:10

Obviously there are kids whose fathers don't want anything to do with them (my own was a complete deadbeat, as in I didn't see him at all growing up, he just vanished).
But I'm assuming a lot of these dads who don't bother having their kids dont actively hate their kids or want nothing to do with them: instead they're just lazy and actively choosing not to, because they don't have to and there's no way of making them currently, so they just...don't. But if they were forced to, they'd just get on with it.

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So you'd rather the police tracked your deadbeat father down and forced him to care for you?

Simonjt · 31/05/2024 12:13

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 12:10

Obviously there are kids whose fathers don't want anything to do with them (my own was a complete deadbeat, as in I didn't see him at all growing up, he just vanished).
But I'm assuming a lot of these dads who don't bother having their kids dont actively hate their kids or want nothing to do with them: instead they're just lazy and actively choosing not to, because they don't have to and there's no way of making them currently, so they just...don't. But if they were forced to, they'd just get on with it.

Show quote history

So as a child you think you should have spent 50% of your life with someone who didn’t want you?

TheShellBeach · 31/05/2024 12:13

But if they were forced to, they'd just get on with it

Sigh.

How do you propose enforcing this?

Simonjt · 31/05/2024 12:12

DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 11:58

There should be a law that makes it a criminal offence not to, and it should have a jail sentence.
Fathers shouldn't only be financially responsible for their kids, they should take on the life burden of them too.

Show quote history

So where would the child live 50% of the time when one parent is in prison? How would that parent then house themselves, their child and work with a criminal record?

Why do you have zero concern for the welfare of children?

Myblindsaredown · 31/05/2024 12:11

Op, how old are you, you come across as very young and naive.

TheShellBeach · 31/05/2024 12:11

Aren't prisons already bursting at the seams, without having to accommodate all the feckless men who won't look after their children?

Original poster
DontCheetoTheCheetah · 31/05/2024 12:10

MonsteraMama · 31/05/2024 12:06

What about the kids? Do you honestly think it'd be good for the kids mental health to be forced, by law, to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them?

Obviously there are kids whose fathers don't want anything to do with them (my own was a complete deadbeat, as in I didn't see him at all growing up, he just vanished).
But I'm assuming a lot of these dads who don't bother having their kids dont actively hate their kids or want nothing to do with them: instead they're just lazy and actively choosing not to, because they don't have to and there's no way of making them currently, so they just...don't. But if they were forced to, they'd just get on with it.

OP posts: