Partner wants full access to my phone whenever he has doubts?!

He is the one with the trust problem, so why is he putting this onto you and making it your problem?

This is not remotely normal. I'm glad that you see this and that he is now your ex. He sounds completely controlling!

Yes.
Personally, I let my wife have the password etc for my devices. It saves the "accidentally" seeing my internet history for the last month if a notification pops up on my screen.
That said, it is very, very weird for a man to want that and a massive red flag.

98% of 704 votes gives a pretty clear answer - and I'm also convinced there are people on every thread that get mixed up and hit the wrong vote, so I wouldn't worry too much about the 2%.

Run as fast as you can, and block the controlling twat from your phone and social media.

I’m wondering if you’re with my ex h as this is exactly the 💩 he pulled, well tried to to and then I realised he’d never get any better and left him. He won’t get any better and you do not need to prove yourself to him. I hope you can leave

Is he willing to reciprocate and offer you full access to his phone, and also work on his trust issues with a psychiatrist? In that case I'd think about it

That is a serious obsession he is developing there. Dump him.
Because it will take a professional to sort his brain out. If you had fallen deeply in love with him and were willing to work on him you would fail.
All IMHO, good Luck.

I haven’t read the full thread, just your first post but this is a Major, major, major red flag and would be a relationship ending moment for me. The guy is not capable of having a respectful relationship right now.

Run. This is never going to improve, and he’s always going to have doubts. It doesn’t matter if there’s any reason for him to have doubts or not, they’ll be there. Plus he’ll be awful when you want to do things like spend a night away etc. Get out while you’ve got the chance, why bother negotiating anything?

Jesus. Glad you dumped him OP. I thought it was bad enough wanting to see your phone whenever he wanted, but he wanted to know your location at all times as well? You have indeed had a lucky escape.

He sounds such a Prince…. You’ve had a lucky escape…

What's the point, though?

It would be like going to the GP because you've had no problems with your breathing, no aches or pains when you walk and you've never smoked, so you don't need to give up.

Going with him would certainly just leave him saying that the counsellor was lying/wrong/a charlatan/you'd deliberately misled or bribed them or similar; no way he would just accept that he was paranoid.

This is a mental ilness

he's a lost cause. not a chance in hell I'd be going to counselling with someone as controlling and unhinged.

Absolutely DONT DO THIS

WTF!!!!

"Hopefully" he'll realise the issue is his??

Give me strength. 😡

I'd go to the counsellor so he can hopefully realise the issue is his and then leave him

So two months into the relationship, he's checking your phone all the time. This is because he thinks you might cheat on him and have sex with another man and lie to him because that's what he thinks you or maybe all women are like. I don't think his exes all cheated on him either - I think it was all in his mind.

I do tend to think he might cheat too and is projecting his behaviour on to you.

You are not being unreasonable. He sounds quite dangerous and deluded. These things tend to escalate too as nothing really ever satisfies people like this. He'll be wanting you to wear sensible underwear and shoes next or stop wearing makeup to tempt all those other lustful men out there.

Don't take this whining misanthrope back is all I can say. Imagine having children with him - they'd be no sooner born than he'd be DNA testing them for paternity. He'd be in the delivery room with a swab ready to go.

Don't go back! I had a relationship like this once. It will grind you down till you lose track of reality. He will not change.

Even if he backs down over the phone, don't take him back.
He will be stalking you next, sulking when you go out. It will be your work mates he's unsure of.
The phone is the tip of the iceberg.

He's a walking red flag OP

You have a daughter?
Keep that controlling arse away from her and your home.
You will be putting you BOTH at risk.

This. If someone is incapable of basic trust you’ll never be able to satisfy their need for evidence.

This is definitely a ‘it’s not you it’s him’ issue. He sounds like an immature, horribly needy, insecure pita. Don’t waste another minute on him.

There is nothing you can (or should) do to placate someone this immature & insecure. If you let him see your phone he'd think you must have another secret one somewhere. It's exhausting being with someone like this; you will never ever convince them. So don't bother trying. Don't get back with him under any circumstances.

So my partner (or ex) has some trust issues

I’d take the or ex option asap and throw this one back.