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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you spend sick leave

39 replies

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:24

I've only ever been off work sick before when I've been confined to bed/the sofa/the toilet so I don't know the rules! But I've been signed off for 10 days now due to a painful polyp! However, typically, as soon as I've now been signed off the pain has subsided a lot!

I'm not going back to work before my sick note ends as sod's law states it will get bad again if I do, so how am I allowed to act while off, please? If I'm feeling well enough, am I allowed to do a grocery shop? Pick the kids up from school? Pop for a coffee with a friend?

Thanks!

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Summertimer · 31/05/2024 21:05

I probably wouldn’t do coffee, but would pick up DC and shop if I had to. DH worked away a lot when DC was little so often no options

Ilovelurchers · 31/05/2024 21:00

Your work place should not let you back into work before your sick note runs out due to insurance issues.

Ignore the person who told you you are "taking the piss" - clearly magically knows better than the trained health care professionals who (one assumes) actually examined you and deemed you unfit for work for another 10 days.

And you can do absolutely anything you feel well enough to do, apart from any form of paid work.

Thankfully, thinking has moved on from the days when people spitefully wanted anybody signed off to languish at home, no matter the nature of their malady, and stalked their social media profiles in an attempt to "catch them out lying".

Apart from certain pockets of thought on here, it would appear.

Most of us consider it important that workers have normal human rights, including sick ones.

I hope you feel better soon, and please don't let anxiety over this issue hinder your recovery. This is the time you need to look after you, and do whatever will best heal you, body, mind and soul.

Kitkat1523 · 31/05/2024 20:51

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 20:14

Ha, sadly not a nasal polyp!

Thanks for the advice. I think I'll be reasonable with what I get up to but I love the advice that it's work I've been signed off from, not life.

If anybody works in HR and has an officially stance, would love to hear!

HR won’t give a shiny shite as long as you have a fit note….depending on your managing attendance policy you may be referred to occy health

Kitkat1523 · 31/05/2024 20:49

Obbydoo · 31/05/2024 12:21

So explain this to your workplace and go back. You are absolutely taking the piss if you're just sitting out your sick note for no reason.

😂😂😂 are you for real?!
OP been signed off ….fuck all to do with anyone else.
I been signed off loads for much longer periods than 10 days….never been back before my fit note ended 🙄

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 20:14

Jenepeuxpasdiscuteravecdesstupides · 31/05/2024 15:11

Surely that would depend on where the polyp is?!!
Nasal won't compromise lifting ability!

Ha, sadly not a nasal polyp!

Thanks for the advice. I think I'll be reasonable with what I get up to but I love the advice that it's work I've been signed off from, not life.

If anybody works in HR and has an officially stance, would love to hear!

OP posts:
Jenepeuxpasdiscuteravecdesstupides · 31/05/2024 15:11

DarkForces · 31/05/2024 11:30

I wouldn't be lugging heavy bags around while off with a polyp

Surely that would depend on where the polyp is?!!
Nasal won't compromise lifting ability!

pontipinemum · 31/05/2024 14:34

daffodilandtulip · 31/05/2024 11:36

I had a manager who used to do unannounced daily home visits to catch people out!

That is terrible! I honestly wouldn't know what to think if my manager turned up at my door when I was sick.

LottieMary · 31/05/2024 14:03

It’s really nobody’s business - I was off for about six weeks, felt better after about four. My work wouldn’t accept me back until the fit note date (insurance). If you should be taking things easy and phasing back into activity then a grocery shop and a coffee is fine. If you were hammering the gym I might wonder why you weren’t asking the gp for a different dates but also - it’s really between you and HR.

MiddleAgedDread · 31/05/2024 13:15

I went to the gym towards the end of my sick leave period following surgery but only to get out of the house for the sake of my sanity and to do some very gentle exercise. I also went out for lunch a couple of times because I don't think sitting indoors for 2 weeks and then going back to real life at 100% is realistic, you need to break yourself back in gradually.

KreedKafer · 31/05/2024 13:14

It completely depends on what your job is and why you've been signed off sick.

For example:

Person A does a physical job with a lot of lifting and has been signed off because a back injury means they shouldn't be lifting stuff. Person A can go for a coffee and a chat with a friend or take a stroll while on sick leave, because those things don't involve heavy lifting and shouldn't raise any eyebrows. Just because they can go for a walk, it doesn't mean they're capable of lifting heavy stuff at work. Person A should not, however, be spending their sick leave laying a new patio or doing weights at the gym, because clearly if they can do those sorts of activities they can also do their job.

Person B works in a call centre and has been signed off because they've got laryngitis and vocal cord damage and need to completely rest their voice. Person B cannot go for coffee and a chat with a friend because they're not supposed to be chatting. Person B absolutely can spend their sick leave laying a new patio or doing weights at the gym, because they don't need to speak while doing those things and they are not equivalent to working in a call centre.

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 31/05/2024 13:13

I ended up taking 3 weeks due to a serious gallbladder infection a couple of years ago. Week 1 I was in hospital, then i was signed off for 2 weeks following emergency surgery to remove it.

By the end of about day 5 I was absolutely fine to nip to the shops or go and sit in a cafe but still needed an afternoon nap as was knackered and I couldn't life anything heavy. If I had been seen by a work colleague and called out on it then i would have explained exactly that.

Being well enough to go out for an hour or so isn't the same as being well enough to work 8 hrs solid.

Abstractthinking · 31/05/2024 13:01

If you’re well enough to go for a coffee and are absent due to pain, people would assume you were well enough to be in work unless you do a manual job etc.

I remember a thread like this before. It was agreed that this type of opinion was clueless and completely wrong.

rainbowunicorn · 31/05/2024 12:58

Obbydoo · 31/05/2024 12:21

So explain this to your workplace and go back. You are absolutely taking the piss if you're just sitting out your sick note for no reason.

She has been advised by the Dr to use the whole sick leave so not taking the piss. If she goes back before her sick leave is up and then it flares up again and she has to take more time off it will count as 2 separate absences. This could cause her further issues with her employer.

CelesteCunningham · 31/05/2024 12:55

Take it easy, and by all means go out and meet someone for coffee or mooch around Tesco. Neither of those compares to going to work for a full day.

If you've been signed off for ten days you clearly need it. When did you last rest and spend an afternoon with Netflix?

Aim to go back refreshed, it will do you good at home and at work besides the polyp!

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 31/05/2024 12:49

mitogoshi · 31/05/2024 11:48

If you recover quicker than the sick note you go back to work surely

I went back before my sicknote ran out . I was quickly shown the door back out again and was told I had to see out my sicknote and even if they did want me back I wasn't allowed . Insurance apparently

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 12:34

Obbydoo · 31/05/2024 12:21

So explain this to your workplace and go back. You are absolutely taking the piss if you're just sitting out your sick note for no reason.

Taking the piss to stick to Drs advice? You really think so?

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buffyslayer · 31/05/2024 12:29

Strictly1 · 31/05/2024 11:29

If you’re well enough to go for a coffee and are absent due to pain, people would assume you were well enough to be in work unless you do a manual job etc.

Definitely not true

I was off work, able to go for a coffee but unable to sit down for more than 90 mins and signed off work for 8 weeks
Yes I was out walking and in the gym doing physio as advised but the rest of the time I was sleeping or lying down as I couldn't sit
Recovery is a thing...

If I've no voice I can't work but I'm capable of having a coffee

Obbydoo · 31/05/2024 12:21

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:50

Yes I could do! But I don't know whether it's likely to come back when I am sitting still for 8 hours a day, and if it does come back then I won't be able to go off again without another sick note. Plus that would be counted as 2 leaves of absence then. My Dr suggested taking the whole sick leave as the resting would be beneficial, even if the pain had subsided.

So explain this to your workplace and go back. You are absolutely taking the piss if you're just sitting out your sick note for no reason.

Ariela · 31/05/2024 12:16

I've taken a pillow/cushion and blanket and laid on the bench at the park to watch the kids play before now.

wizarddry · 31/05/2024 11:55

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:50

Yes I could do! But I don't know whether it's likely to come back when I am sitting still for 8 hours a day, and if it does come back then I won't be able to go off again without another sick note. Plus that would be counted as 2 leaves of absence then. My Dr suggested taking the whole sick leave as the resting would be beneficial, even if the pain had subsided.

A lot of companies wouldn't let you back for insurance purposes

MrsAvocet · 31/05/2024 11:53

Remember that you are unfit for work, not unfit for life.
Being ill/well is not binary. It's not like you are either bedbound or completely fit.
Doing what you can within the limits of your condition is generally a good thing - just don't overdo it.
People will probably talk* *but frankly it is none of their business. Your contract of employment is with your employer, not with your colleagues. If your absence affects their workload then they need to bring it up with their line manager. Your illness is your business and the only people at work who have any right to know about it are your managers, HR and Occ Health.

Lalog · 31/05/2024 11:51

I go to Ibiza and take loads of drugs.

OliveK · 31/05/2024 11:51

I found this very stressful when off, and basically didn't leave the house unless it was crucial. Kind friends came to mine for coffee. But to be honest I think it didn't help my recovery as my mental health plummeted.

muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:50

mitogoshi · 31/05/2024 11:48

If you recover quicker than the sick note you go back to work surely

Yes I could do! But I don't know whether it's likely to come back when I am sitting still for 8 hours a day, and if it does come back then I won't be able to go off again without another sick note. Plus that would be counted as 2 leaves of absence then. My Dr suggested taking the whole sick leave as the resting would be beneficial, even if the pain had subsided.

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muffinmum89 · 31/05/2024 11:49

Differing opinions then, ranging from stay home to go on holiday! It's so conflicting! Basically, today especially, I feel fine and really want to take the kids to the park later on, but I'm too nervous now to leave home in case I'm 'spotted!' This sick leave has done more harm than good haha

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