Wouldn't be friends with ... AIBU to judge her for this?

So if a 23 year old made racist comments when drunk, we just right it off as the folly of youth?

So she has an opinion on fat people, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Who cares either way?!

The question is more why you feel you can’t be friends with someone whose opinion differ from yours. Do you seriously just want vanilla all the time?

She sounds as shallow as a puddle and not someone I would want to spend time with. I have friends from all walks of life and the one thing they have in common is human decency.

There are not that many women who’ve gone through pregnancy and childbirth and meno who are the same lithe figures they were at 23. I was a skinny Minnie at that age and wouldn’t have crossed my mind what those things would do to my physique. All I’m saying it’s a weird thing to be smug and judgmental about at 23 when it’s pretty easy to keep in that kind of shape

😀

Just waiting for the massive salad to make an appearance…

Next up "My trans boomer MiL won't rent out her buy to let to fat people who went to state school. AIBU to expect her to have DC overnight?"

What a weird comment

It’s like mumsnet bingo….😂

In vino veritas. Not worth being friends with someone who is this much of a dickhead.

Tbf, it's pretty bizarre to have both the private school hot topic AND fat shaming shoe horned into the one thread, I mean what are the odds?

She sounds like a vacant, classless, moron, not the intelligent, well spoken woman you seem to think she is.

I wouldn't be part of a conversation about 'who we could never be friends with' for the obvious reasons and for the silliness of it all.

This is bizzare, you start a thread saying am I wrong to judge her and end the friendship, then attack other people for judging her and proclaim you’d not do that.

People don't know what they don't know. They are products of their environment and she has been brought up in a very sheltered and privileged one.

She's just a twat. Phase her out.

The key difference in the assumptions being made are that your friend is making them without any basis. She is attributing personality traits to people based solely on their membership of a large and diverse group without knowing anything else about them than that they are a certain weight, or went to state school.
The 'assumptions' I have made about your friend are not actually assumptions at all, as nothing is being assumed about her, the judhement is based entirely on the behaviour you have told us about. If you had told us she had made a racist remark, it would not be an 'assumption' she was racist, it would be a judgement based on evidence. Same applies here. There is no hypocrisy as the two things are entirely different.

Despite my earlier post, I do agree it may have been an idiotic drunken rant !
Maybe see how she is when she isn't drunk ( and maybe she should stop the drinking as it does tend to be ' hidden calories' !)

I do feel sorry for those who watch every morsel of food , although I often wish I had that ' iron will ' myself!

This! 👏👏

OP - You've made her sound horrible... but people often are horrible when they're drunk.
Still go to the brunch - then if you still think she's a twat, distance yourself after that.
In terms of what she said, in isolation, the weight comment is harsh. But, I guess, as you say yourself, if she's incredibly active then she IS unlikely to have much in common with someone who's morbidly obese. She's just telling the truth.
However, just because you can say something, doesn't mean you should!

" However I'm intelligent enough to know that this one conversation in these specific circumstances aren't reflective of either of us as a whole nor indicative of our intelligence levels."

Maybe not your intelligence levels but in vino veritas is a saying for a reason. For most people alcohol leads them to lower their inhibitions, and therefore say things they would otherwise keep quiet, not completely change their personality and say things they don't actually mean.

By all means go out for a casual brunch with her if you want, it's fine to have friends you don't agree about everything with....but I personally would be wary of becoming close friends with her...it's very unlikely that she's a lovely person with stereotypes about JUST these 2 things, and more likely that she's actually quite a judgy person generally.

Yeah, I'd be wild about the idea of befriending someone for whom alcohol brings out fattism and some kind of weird private school fetish.

She sounds like a total ape.

At 23 you're old enough to know right from wrong

She (and you) may well have been drunk but as the saying goes, "in vino veritas". I'm sure with her posh private education she'll know what that means!
I couldn't be friends with her as I'd have such differing views. I do have 'friends' with very different views but tend to keep them at acquaintance distance.

You were having the kind of scandalous conversation where you know you shouldn't be saying it out loud, did you join in with it at the time but are now reporting her things alone? I don't believe she would have kept expanding on slightly shocking things without everyone else escalating it as well.

If health and fitness are very important to her, is it really that bad that she wouldn't want to hang out with those who are at the other end of the spectrum. You've lived a fairly sheltered life if you've never heard fat people bitching about fitness fanatics and how they are obviously having more fun than those too uptight to eat chips.

At 23 it is very common for those who have had good choices to think they can take the credit for making good choices, the more ridiculous thing is any poster here who is hurt by the drunken ramblings of a very privileged 23yo or you posting it to essentially bitch about her behind her back.

Most of us here are older, wiser and less judgemental and wouldn't be likely to be her friends, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be. If you don't enjoy her company, then so be it, but how is she going to find out that state school people couldn't care less unless she actually gets to know some.