Leaving 9 year olds home alone

Why is it weird?

My dd is 18 and is more than capable of keeping a couple of 9 year olds safe for a couple of hours. This would be infinitely better than leaving them unattended imo.

Our neighbours have asked dd to watch their kids a few times over the last couple of years. She is extremely mature, sensible, responsible, and as it happens, first aid trained. She also has an enhanced DBS check and experience of working with children.

Of course, you would only ask a teenager if you had someone that you were confident that you could trust, but if you know someone suitable, what would be weird about it exactly?

I would be happy to leave my nine year old but she wouldn't be ok with it yet. We do basically live in the woods though and she might feel differently if we were on a street with neighbours. There are nine year olds I definitely wouldn't be happy to leave though.

Also at 9 she is expected to:

Go into a shop and follow a list, pack properly and pay

Interact with servers at restaurants and verbally give her own food order

Walk from the carpark into school on her own (who are those weirdos still walking their yr6 kids to the classroom?!)

Generally interact with the world.

Yes I would and do

Doors locked, she can call or text, she’s allowed to eat but no cooking or making tea

MN is weird about leaving kids alone and then you get all the posts about 16/17 year olds who can’t do the most basic of independent tasks

Why on earth would you ask a local teenager to mind your kids. That's weird.

We have 9 year old twins, I don't feel they are old enough to be left home alone yet. High school kids I do for short stints.

I started going to the shop without DD when she was 10. I’d speak to her when I left, text her from the shop. I’d only be gone about 10 minutes and she never left her room anyway.

I think if you knew your husband was on the way and he could message he had arrived home and you could see that. I’d be fine with it. I mean if they are Sat gaming anyway and they are sensible.
My neighbour leaves her similar aged son for longer. He’s also gaming. He knows not to answer the door and he can message me or another neighbour if there is an issue.

I’ve left my 9 year old that long when I’ve really had to. She’s 11 now

I have one a bit younger than this and I definitely think it depends on the child. And whether we’re talking just turned 9, or almost 10. At our school Year 5s are allowed to walk home alone with parental permission…that will include 9 year olds.

I'd say for that short amount of time yes, if they are sensible. I left my dd for 1 hour a few weeks ago, she was a week off being 10. She knew my mobile number and could ring if there were any issues.

I personally wouldn't leave a 9 year old alone in a house but this is a massive stretch.

You can't compare this with putting your kids to bed and buggering off out for dinner and drinks leaving them alone in a holiday home in a foreign country.

Yes I would be fine with that if they are OK with it and they're sensible kids. I think kids are ready to be left at different ages though and you have to use your own knowledge of them and common sense to know when they're ready.

I have a 9yo and I would. Especially if I know that DH is on the way home.

A big fat NO from me.
Imagine the headline…….Tragedy after mother leaves twins alone to attend a gym class!
Im sure Kate and Gerry McCann often wonder why they didn’t just take the children to the restaurant.

Yes. Definitely, so long as they are reasonably sensible. Is there a neighbour that they could call on in the very unlikely event of an emergency.

I have a 10 year old stepdaughter and no. Not that's not sensible but in the event of an emergency, I don't think she'd be capable.

I wouldn't at nine, a year or two if sensible but nine is too young in my opinion. Especially for something non essential. Could you do a you tube video or a bike ride/walk all together?

I’ve read this thread with the opposite consensus before.

i think 9 is on the cusp of ok or not for this and it hugely depends on the child(ren) in question.

No, too young

For me, probably not. It's a matter of considering "What's the worst that could happen?" in any given scenario, the answer to which is pretty dire. Regardless of how sensible the boys are, or how brief the time you plan to be away, we can't predict all potential eventualities about either. While there are no laws stipulating the age children can be left alone, if Children's Services were to become aware of this, you would be under the spotlight for sure. When my children were little, I used to exercise at home, by doing press-ups, sit ups, walking up and down stairs repeats, or using home made weights, eg 2l milk cartons filled with water or the coal bucket). I also ran around the play park while they played. There are countless alternatives to the gym if we want exercise.

Think it depends on the child. I’d of left my now 14 year old at 9 for half hour but wouldn’t let my now 9 year old stay alone. She’s extremely impulsive and hyperactive.

Sounds fine to me, you know your children best. They can contact you and tell them not to answer the door or eat any food (risk of choking etc worries me)

Full disclosure, my kids arent that age yet so i dont know.

I'd be happier with an only child because it only takes a moment for horseplay to go horribly wrong.

How quickly could you get home if DH is unable to make the train?

Could you set up a facetime call in their room and leave it running so they know you are "watching" them and they can ask if they are unsure of anything?

I wouldn't allow food while you're not around in case of choking.

For less than an hour for kids happy playing computers, it sounds low risk but if something went wrong, could you live with yourself knowing that was an unnecessary risk? Thats what the decision point is.

Yes, unless they usually fight as soon as you turn your back.

No I wouldn't. 9 is too young for me.