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Original poster

Leaving 9 year olds home alone

62 replies

Itsrainingten · 31/05/2024 09:51

Would you leave 9 year old twin boys home along for half an hour? I want to go to a gym class that starts at 7.30, meaning I'd have to leave about 7.10 to get their in time. Their dad gets home at 7.30 or 7.45 depending on the trains. The kids are fine with it but I'm not sure. Would you?

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JazbayGrapes · 31/05/2024 17:36

As long as they don't fight with each other

cadburyegg · 31/05/2024 17:14

I have a 9 year old and plan to start leaving him quite soon for similar periods of time. In September he'll be in y5 where he'll be allowed to walk home from school by himself. If 9 year olds are allowed to walk themselves to and from school then I'd expect most of them to be able to look after themselves at home for 30 minutes. But they do need to be prepped on what to do in an emergency.

456pickupsticks · 31/05/2024 16:15

30 minutes, with a parent confirmed as on the way home, yes fine, provided:

  • They know what to do in an emergency, and how to identify an actual emergency (eg which adults locally would be able to help, how to call 999 and give their address, to leave the house if there was a fire etc)
  • They feel ok with it
  • There is someone local they can go to it if there's an emergency
  • They will follow any rules you've set - eg don't leave the house, don't turn the cooker on etc.
Cyclingforcake · 31/05/2024 15:12

I have a 9 year old. He gets left for 10-20 mins when I’ve got to drop DD somewhere and I know DH is on his way home. Sensible kid who knows I’ll stop letting him if he’s not sensible.

blablasmthsmth · 31/05/2024 14:41

Theseers · 31/05/2024 14:16

You know how “sensible” kids become sensible ……. It’s not by being coddled that’s for sure

Are you implying that not leaving your child alone is coddling them? You don't think different children are different and that parents will know their own children well enough to decide when their own child is ready?

Besides all that, you're wrong anyway. I wouldn't leave my 9 year old home alone but he's very sensible. He's also capable of interacting with people in shops/restaurants etc.

cerebuswannabe · 31/05/2024 14:17

No I wouldn't.

Theseers · 31/05/2024 14:16

You know how “sensible” kids become sensible ……. It’s not by being coddled that’s for sure

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 31/05/2024 14:15

I would
And did!

blablasmthsmth · 31/05/2024 14:14

I'm surprised at posters saying they would as I thought it was too young.
Maybe it's dependent on the child though because I have a nine year old and he would hate being left home alone, others might not mind.

I still don't know though, it still seems young to me, even if the child was ok with it.

Batgin · 31/05/2024 13:42

I would and do leave my almost 10 year old for 30 mins etc between popping to the shop, or crossover between me being home and her dad.

At her age, in year 5, kids younger than her are walking home from school!

HelenHen · 31/05/2024 13:29

CactusMactus · 31/05/2024 13:03

Emergency - yes.
Gym class - no.

If it's not safe for a gym class, it's not safe for an emergency.

It absolutely depends on the child though. I left my son for short periods from 9, my daughter from 10. I try to avoid leaving them together though as they fight and that's my biggest concern.

Many of their friends were left from much younger though.

If you're concerned, can your DH stay on the phone with them til he gets home?

evtheria · 31/05/2024 13:28

Nope

Alainlechat · 31/05/2024 13:26

Going back a few years but my mum used to leave the house at 8 and I left for school at 8.45 and was alone depending on what shift my dad was on.

Same on a Friday, used to let myself in at 4 and mum would arrive home about 5.30.

I was a sensible child though.

Natsku · 31/05/2024 13:17

Absolutely fine. Perfectly normal for 9 year olds to stay home alone where I am (younger too but 9 at the very latest as that's when they're too old for after school care) and its not like they're a different breed of human from British kids.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 31/05/2024 13:13

No, too young and it's not important enough.

spriots · 31/05/2024 13:12

I think it depends on your children's maturity and your area.

If it's a safe suburban area and you know your neighbours, I would as you have said they are generally sensible. I would just run through basic safety stuff with them first.

We're in a busy rather anonymous London street so probably wouldn't

fruitpastille · 31/05/2024 13:12

If you want to build up independence then leaving children for a short amount of time is a good way to start as long as they are happy with it. You can gradually increase the time/frequency over the next two years so they are more independent once they start secondary school.

Sallyh87 · 31/05/2024 13:12

They would almost certainly be fine but I wouldn’t do it. It’s not worth the worst case scenario risk for a gym class.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 31/05/2024 13:09

Legally I would expect that to be a no. From the training I undertook in September I was told that a child younger than 14 couldn’t have a sibling in their sole care. As twins I think you may fall foul of that.

LaMariposa · 31/05/2024 13:04

We started leaving my DD alone for 15min at 9. DH and DS on their way back from an activity, and I need to head out to a yoga class. She spends it sat on the sofa on her screen.

She's very sensible though. Not sure I'd leave DS at the same age.

RubySloth · 31/05/2024 13:04

I think 30 mins for 9 year olds is perfectly reasonable.

goodkidsmaadhouse · 31/05/2024 13:04

I would. Have they got a way of contacting you if Dad misses his train and doesn’t turn up?

CactusMactus · 31/05/2024 13:03

Emergency - yes.
Gym class - no.

AFanOfTinyBiscuits · 31/05/2024 13:02

No, personally think it's still too young. But then I am a bit of a Cautious Carol 😆

Yellowhammer09 · 31/05/2024 11:39

As long as they're a sensible kid then I'd allow it, especially if it's a one-off.