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Original poster

Inheritance and DH

63 replies

FlippetyFlop77 · 30/05/2024 18:43

DH inherited from his parents years ago as they passed relatively young. He wisely invested in rentals at the time (years before we met). He sold one recently which enabled us to get jobs done on our home. (We are mortgage free for perspective and he has 2 daughters from a previous marriage).

He will leave the remaining rental properties to them when he passes. I will remain in our home which was purchased jointly, until my death, at which point his half will then go to his daughters, mine to my beneficiaries of choice.

I will at some point receive a fairly decent inheritance from my parents. Dad has passed and his half is in Trust. If my DM doesn't require care, her share of our family home will also come to me as I'm an only child.

My question is what do I do with it when the time comes and the house is sold? Do I put it all into our joint account? But then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Do I open a seperate account and put it all in my name (but does that seem awful?)

I don't really want the mither of investing etc, but ideally would like the majority for pension top up or if I eventually required care down the line.

So, should I just put some into our joint account (as he shared some of his inheritance with me) then the rest in an account solely in my name?

Has anyone else been in this situation and can advise on the fairest way or have any thoughts on the best way to handle things without it being awkward? It's a bit of a minefield when you don't have children together, if we did I would leave everything to DH which would eventually pass to my parents grandchildren.

I have a cordial relationship with my Step daughters but not close if that helps?

OP posts:
OhshutupBarbara · 31/05/2024 09:59

FrogsAreMean · 31/05/2024 06:45

I wish I had multiple (or single) inheritances on the horizon
(Just. Saying 🤣)

The poor Mother isnt even dead yet! 😲

Wayk · 31/05/2024 09:52

It sounds like you are well set up. Why not spend a share of it? Enjoy more holidays, upgrade car, do things that you normally wouldn't.

Testina · 31/05/2024 09:47

@SleepingMermaid why are you posting nonsense “legal advice”? 🧐
If you’re going to pretend to know, do you think you’d want to at least find out what legal jurisdiction the OP is under? For example regarding divorce and inheritance, Scottish law has a different position.

OP, it’s your money, he kept his separate - do the same for yours. You can spend some on joint things if you want to of course, but keep it in your name. Inheritance from me goes to my children, but my will then provides that if that can’t happen, it’s split between children in my wider family - not my adult stepchildren who came late into my life and are provided for in my husband’s will (which I am not).

Original poster
FlippetyFlop77 · 31/05/2024 09:34

BIossomtoes · 31/05/2024 09:26

if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Why would that be an issue? We have four kids between us - one mine, three his - and our estate will be split equally four ways. If I didn’t have any children it would be split three ways.

If I live to be 80, my stepdaughters would be in their 60s. I would prefer to leave to younger people close to me.

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 31/05/2024 09:30

Howmanycatsistoomany · 31/05/2024 09:29

OP says she has a cordial relationship with stepdaughters. I have a cordial relationship with my stepdaughter and she will receive nothing from my estate when I die.

Show quote history

We don’t have my estate and his. We share our money and assets.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 31/05/2024 09:29

BIossomtoes · 31/05/2024 09:26

if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Why would that be an issue? We have four kids between us - one mine, three his - and our estate will be split equally four ways. If I didn’t have any children it would be split three ways.

OP says she has a cordial relationship with stepdaughters. I have a cordial relationship with my stepdaughter and she will receive nothing from my estate when I die.

BIossomtoes · 31/05/2024 09:26

if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Why would that be an issue? We have four kids between us - one mine, three his - and our estate will be split equally four ways. If I didn’t have any children it would be split three ways.

InterIgnis · 31/05/2024 09:20

Keep it in a separate account. You have time to decide what you want to do with it. You don’t have to put the investment leg work in yourself if you would prefer to go that route - you can hire a financial advisor or broker.

It’s totally up to you who you want to leave it to. Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean it needs to go to his.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 31/05/2024 09:11

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 31/05/2024 09:02

Why would she give him anything ? He didn’t give her money. The money he spent on renovations benefited him as well. He didn’t give the OP money and isn’t leaving his half of the property to her if he dies first.

Show quote history

I said maybe consider. We don't know what they agreed re funding the renovations but as you rightly pointed out, the money he spent on the house benefitted both. So it would be fair to return half of that cost to him.

I would hope that OP has given him a life interest in the house if she dies first, to go to beneficiaries of her choice upon his death, and is not simply leaving her share of the house to him. Fair's fair after all.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 31/05/2024 09:02

Howmanycatsistoomany · 31/05/2024 08:56

Why not keep the family home in your name solely as a rental property? Then you'd have your rental property, he'd have his. Seems fair.
Depending on what was discussed/agreed at the time you could maybe consider giving DH half of the amount spent on the recent house renovations.

Why would she give him anything ? He didn’t give her money. The money he spent on renovations benefited him as well. He didn’t give the OP money and isn’t leaving his half of the property to her if he dies first.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 31/05/2024 08:59

SD1978 · 31/05/2024 06:34

Seperate. He has determined that he will leave everything to his kids (fair) including half the house you currently live in (not sure about that, if you need care fees, etc yourself half may not go far) he's already made the decision you don't financially benefit from the relationship, you are completely entitled to do the same without it being weird or a personal slight.

This^

Howmanycatsistoomany · 31/05/2024 08:56

Why not keep the family home in your name solely as a rental property? Then you'd have your rental property, he'd have his. Seems fair.
Depending on what was discussed/agreed at the time you could maybe consider giving DH half of the amount spent on the recent house renovations.

OnGoldenPond · 31/05/2024 08:41

SleepingMermaid · 31/05/2024 05:53

Assuming you are married, putting the money into a separate account makes no difference, it's still considered joint. I'd suggest getting some legal advice on your options

I think you are mixing up the situation in the event of divorce rather than inheritance. OP can leave assets in her sole name to whoever she pleases.

user1492757084 · 31/05/2024 08:11

I would plan to put an amount, similar to what your DH invested into the refurbishment, into the joint coffers for you and your husband to enjoy.
The remainder, you could invest in your own name and leave that as you wish in your Will along with the half interest in your home and joint accounts and your superannuation and other assets that are soley in your name.

PrettySenior · 31/05/2024 08:10

THisbackwithavengeance · 31/05/2024 07:41

What if your DH dies suddenly and you remarry? Your new DH is controlling and persuasive and does a number on you to ensure that he automatically inherits everything. You then die and your new DH would then inherit your now DH's assets bypassing his DCs who get nothing.

You only have to read threads on here to see that this happens all the time.

I would certainly not "trust" anyone when it comes to this sort of thing; so many what ifs and variables.

Show quote history

But I wouldn't do that and my DH knows it. I guess he trusts me a lot more than you do 😂!

To me it's the same as if the children were both of ours - my DH doesn't want me to be worse off financially if he goes first and his daughters need to wait for both of us to go before they inherit. Anything can happen to anyone to prevent an expected inheritance and no one should count on one, but I'll do everything in my power to protect his daughters' inheritances and he knows it.

amijustbeingsuspicious · 31/05/2024 07:52

If there’s no one you actively want to leave the money to I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just leave it to DH. Do you dislike his children? You’ll be dead so it’s not like you can use the money yourself

Bluesky91 · 31/05/2024 07:46

FlippetyFlop77 · 30/05/2024 18:43

DH inherited from his parents years ago as they passed relatively young. He wisely invested in rentals at the time (years before we met). He sold one recently which enabled us to get jobs done on our home. (We are mortgage free for perspective and he has 2 daughters from a previous marriage).

He will leave the remaining rental properties to them when he passes. I will remain in our home which was purchased jointly, until my death, at which point his half will then go to his daughters, mine to my beneficiaries of choice.

I will at some point receive a fairly decent inheritance from my parents. Dad has passed and his half is in Trust. If my DM doesn't require care, her share of our family home will also come to me as I'm an only child.

My question is what do I do with it when the time comes and the house is sold? Do I put it all into our joint account? But then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

Do I open a seperate account and put it all in my name (but does that seem awful?)

I don't really want the mither of investing etc, but ideally would like the majority for pension top up or if I eventually required care down the line.

So, should I just put some into our joint account (as he shared some of his inheritance with me) then the rest in an account solely in my name?

Has anyone else been in this situation and can advise on the fairest way or have any thoughts on the best way to handle things without it being awkward? It's a bit of a minefield when you don't have children together, if we did I would leave everything to DH which would eventually pass to my parents grandchildren.

I have a cordial relationship with my Step daughters but not close if that helps?

Open an account with fidelity/vanguard, put the whole lot in 3 index funds:

  1. nasdaq 100
  2. s&p 500
  3. global index

Decent returns with very little headache/managing. Just giving you ideas. This is NOT financial advice.

ladymuckofthemanor · 31/05/2024 07:44

FrogsAreMean · 31/05/2024 06:45

I wish I had multiple (or single) inheritances on the horizon
(Just. Saying 🤣)

Someone will along in a bit to tell you what an awful human being you are. Inheritance is an awful thing to receive as it means your loved one is dead.

But...... same!!! 🤣 Never inherited a penny and probably never will!

Bansheed · 31/05/2024 07:41

This is more about who you want it go to, should you die first?

You can keep it separate for now, in case he dies first, for your care provision.

THisbackwithavengeance · 31/05/2024 07:41

PrettySenior · 31/05/2024 06:37

My DH has children and I don't. However the difference is that when one of us dies the other inherits 100%. If DH dies first then I'm happy to leave everything to his children when I go - out of love for him and respect for his wishes. We have wills and this is how we've set them up. It would be the same if we did have children together. DH fully trusts me to do the right thing by his children and not leave everything to a stray donkey charity or something. His children and I aren't particularly close for geographical reasons mostly but I really like and care about them both.

When DH got an inheritance he spent it on a new car for both of us. He's expecting another larger inheritance as am I, and if these happen we'll share them equally and use them to retire early.

What if your DH dies suddenly and you remarry? Your new DH is controlling and persuasive and does a number on you to ensure that he automatically inherits everything. You then die and your new DH would then inherit your now DH's assets bypassing his DCs who get nothing.

You only have to read threads on here to see that this happens all the time.

I would certainly not "trust" anyone when it comes to this sort of thing; so many what ifs and variables.

Londonscallingme · 31/05/2024 07:40

RandomMess · 31/05/2024 07:15

@Londonscallingme if inheritance it's kept separately and not used to fund the marriage/family it is not a joint marital asset.

ah, I did wonder if this might be the case for inheritance but wasn’t sure. Thanks for the info

PashaMinaMio · 31/05/2024 07:40

Michelle12A · 31/05/2024 06:43

He used some of his inheritance to benefit you (with the refurbishment) and kept the rest, do the same as he did. Keep some jointly and the rest in a separate account

This is what I’d do. ^^

I’d also leave my estate to any younger family members whether I knew them or not. eg do you have cousins with kids?

“Keep it in the family.” Too many couples make mirror wills which ends up with “non blood” or step kids inheriting everything.

Look into giving some young descendants of your own blood family an uplift when you die.

I think you will benefit from legal advice and remember this, having made a will you can change your wishes and make a new will at any time thereafter.

SleepingMermaid · 31/05/2024 07:25

wizarddry · 31/05/2024 06:28

It absolutely is not. He won't be able to access it and if she bequeathed it in her will to someone else he wouldn't get a penny

Show quote history

If it’s a joint asset she can’t bequeath the amount to someone else, same as if she tried to leave their joint savings or other joint property to a third person. If the inheritance somehow is not a joint asset and legally ring fenced, then she can of course treat it as hers. Generally, assets acquired during a marriage are considered to be joint from a legal perspective. Morally, of course, you could argue that her husband shouldn’t want access

CerealPonderer · 31/05/2024 07:18

But then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC

Is there someone else you want to be your beneficiary?

RandomMess · 31/05/2024 07:15

@Londonscallingme if inheritance it's kept separately and not used to fund the marriage/family it is not a joint marital asset.