Inheritance and DH

Personally I'd want to protect my children's future against this.

Easily done - don’t remarry. Nothing would induce me to if I was widowed. Most women over a certain age are old enough and savvy enough to stay single.

Thank you for the salute 😍😅! I understand what you're saying. One thing I didn't mention and that I don't think would matter to DH or me but might to others in my situation- I'm by far the higher earner in our relationship and when DH and I met he had nothing. So his children do stand to inherit far more with me in the picture than they would have without me.

In theory this is really lovely. And I salute you. But, just as a theoretical exercise, you remarried after your DH death, and your new DH wasn't really nice. There could be problems. Personally I'd want to protect my children's future against this.

My thoughts might be, having been in various situations over the years involving money & inheritance

1. What if DH ends up in care? Given that all his income & capital would go towards his care how might that leave you? Women can get shafted in these situations as they dont get anything from their husbands income
2. There is then the issue of your heirs, how keen are you that they benefit from whatever is left from your and your parents estates? If the answer is that you are not that fussed then putting the money in joint names isnt an issue. If you want them to benefit then keep it in your own name.

Then you need to think what you want to happen to the money in these various situations

I'd like to think this is how it works but DH and I have set up a trust to protect our daughter should one of us die and the other unwittingly remarry in the early stages of dementia cutting out our child accidentally should the remaining parent die.

Very lucky my Mother didn't fall victim to numerous attempts in her early dementia period.

Get your own bank account. And your own Will. You don't have to disclose the contents, or even the existence of your Will to your husband or anyone else, just lodge it with your solicitor and make sure somebody knows about it in case you die unexpectedly.

I know. It just makes things easier. Our solicitor recommended it.

Op said she "would prefer to leave to younger people close to me". I assume she's not particularly close to her stepdaughters' children (if they have any) if she is not close to her stepdaughters?

If I live to be 80, my stepdaughters would be in their 60s. I would prefer to leave to younger people close to me.

So neither stepdaughter has children/your DH has no grandchildren? Otherwise your preference for younger people to inherit does not apply?

Can I ask why you think this way?

Do I open a seperate account and put it all in my name (but does that seem awful?)

No reason for this be bad thing. You’re not hiding the money, I’m assuming he’ll know about it.

I would suggest that talk to 2 different people.. a proper estate planner and a reputable financial planner.

The statement you made about investing doesn’t make sense. It can be complicated or it can be as simple as it would be putting into a savings account. I’m guessing that you aren’t familiar or knowledgeable about investing and you feel like it’s a daunting thing… but it really doesn’t have to be.

This is not necessary.
The bank will release the money to pay for a funeral
I've done it a couple of times

I think when families are blended, keeping things separate is wise (and I say that as someone with fully joint finances with DH, but we have no DSC to consider).

By keeping it separate you're just doing the same as him.

Use it to make your joint lives more comfortable, but ring fence it so that you can leave anything that's left to the relatives of your choice. Probably worth getting legal and/or financial advice when the time comes to make sure this happens as you wish.

My DH has 2 children (adults), I have none.

When one of us dies the other will inherit everything. When the other dies any assets will be split 50/50 between his 2 children and my siblings, or their children if that sibling has died.

If I had no siblings I think I'd leave my half to Charities

Joint accounts automatically become the property of the survivor, that’s why we keep the price of a funeral in our joint savings account.

If you put your inheritance in the joint account, and then he goes first, do you lose half of what's in the joint account or is that not included in the will?

I'd definitely keep it separate anyway. It sounds less complicated that way. That doesn't mean you won't transfer some to the joint account if needed/use some for house repairs etc. But it can sit separately until you decide what to do with it - you may change your mind about investments, especially if the money could be sat there long term not keeping up with inflation.

But poor people are bereaved too! I was orphaned as a teen and my parents had nothing. But an inheritance would have made my young life a bit easier. We all die in the end-so losing someone isn’t anything out of the ordinary-heartbreaking though it is.

In your situation, a separate account and re-make your Will if necessary, ie thinking what's right to give DH but taking into account those funds will pass to his daughters unless it's held in some sort of trust. Obviously before your death, think about how that money could benefit you personally, ie more refurbishment in current property, new items you'd like, a lifetime experience, better car etc.

Nope.

anything in your sole name you can leave to whoever you choose.

joint accounts it depends on whether there is survivorship. If there is it automatically goes to the other account holder. If not, half goes to your estate to whoever inherits, the other half to the other account holder.

i believe a will be an be challenged if adequate provisions are not made for a dependent. Although it may be different in Scotland.

my house is in my sole name. I have left it to my children, dh has the right to live in it until he remarried, dies, or chooses otherwise. He will not inherit and can’t leave it to anyone else. As he is provided for he won’t be able to challenge the will.

I think you are being very sensible. I am fully aware of the details in my parents’ will and have POA set up. If I die before my DH and my parents, my share goes to my DC and not DH for instance. People who are outraged by forward planning are not, I would guess, at our stage of life.

It sounds like you have a lifetime trust in place for your own will. If not, that’s what you need. The bank account is irrelevant I think in terms of what happens if you die, because your will determines where your assets go. This is where the trust would come in. It is relevant however for where you would bank your inheritance and I would definitely have a separate personal account for it so that only you can access it during your lifetime. Not that you won’t share it with your DH in terms of home improvements, cars, holidays whatever - just that you control access.

Just wanted to add, for balance. My DH is about to receive a large amount. He will pay off the mortgage with it and any loans etc we have, plus some home improvements. He’s also going to “give” some to me to bank in my isa. But otherwise, it will be in his account and I don’t feel I should have access to it. We have always had separate bank accounts.

I would try and ascertain from your mum if there are any charities dear to her heart.
Lots of charities rely massively on people leaving money in wills. A large sum can make a huge difference to a small charity and if step daughters are already inheriting houses, I would be thinking about how I could make a difference to the world when I depart.

then if I die first my parents inheritance will all go to DH and eventually his children as I don't have any DC.

If you’re dead and have no descendants then what do you care? Why wouldn’t you want your DH to inherit from you?

People have different relationships with their parents and different ways of approaching practical matters and grief. It's not rocket science.

I lost my Dad last year, I cannot imagine even thinking this in depth about the inheritance I will receive when my Mother passes.