Bringing a SEN child to an expensive holiday

Judging? Much? Of course none of them will have siblings with special needs...

I suppose you are not going to leave him as other parents leave his NT peers, so what the problem?
If you are worried about noise you might benefit from a particular place near the pool or a particular table at the restaurant, some hours for meals might be more preferable than the others. Maybe you can think what accommodation would be easier for you e.g ground floor so you don’t need to wait for the lift. So of course you should think it through but the main goal of all his thinking is that you and your child would have a better holiday.
Are you going to put him in kids club for activities?

Absolutely take him. And please have a serious talk with your DH about not discriminating against DS.

He will unfortunately face enough of that from others, he needs his dad to absolutely prioritise him.

We are currently on holiday in Greece with my dd who sounds a lot like your child. We went for a villa as my child likes time alone to self regulate and a resort would be too difficult for her to retreat to her room each time she was over stimulated. She also is a runner so a busy resort wouldn’t be that relaxing for us (I also have 2 other children to consider) the villa has been perfect for her. When out and about the locals have been extremely understanding of her noise. (We are rural so very Greek) the only problem we’ve had is finding food she will eat, she’s mainly eaten bread and tomatoes but I’m sure that wouldn’t be a problem in a resort.

Of course you should go. Sounds perfect for your family. You and your child have as much right to a holiday as everyone else. Have a wonderful time 😊

I think you'll have a lovely time and so you should! My very loud, pda, asd,adhd bonkers ds just about copes with resorts but we learnt to go super early to all the meals so its quieter and get it over super fast before it got loud. We avoided the night entertainment and just got him settled with a tablet and headphones and brought drinks to the room.

Yes he stimmed at the pool during the day and was a bit of a loon as he is but meh, I have a thick skin after years of it.

Plan ahead and enjoy your fabulous holiday.

Don’t go to France as people there tend to stare at you if your kid is having a meltdown and it’s awful, although I think you mentioned it was greece

I hope you do go and have a wonderful time, but I’m going to be honest. I can cope with noise in the day when I’m free to move away but if my sleep was disturbed regularly by noise (whatever the cause) I would be complaining and trying to move to a different room.

As a fellow SEN parent go for it! Your child and you are entitled to an amazing holiday as much as the next person.

You should go. I got upset at some of the dirty looks we got when out with my friend and her autistic dc. I was angry and genuinely shocked at how judgmental people are.

I do think they are more child friendly in Europe and you all deserve a nice change of scene!

Seriously? My dearest friend, very wealthy, kids go to independent school, is a special needs professional. Would never tolerate such an attitude.

The chip on your shoulder is showing @Picak.

Sorry Edited to add. Hope you go and you all love it Op !

You have as much right to go on holiday as any other person so does your DC. If I found the swimming annoying around the pool etc. I'd just move further away from you tbh. Many resorts have more than 1 pool.

I think daytime is so loud anyone that no one will notice. Echoing another poster though I find these type of family resorts quite quiet at night so for me it would depend on whether he is loud at night - stimming by the pool or in a restaurant is fine, but being kept up all night might ruin someone's holiday

I don't think you should hold back. I've been to Ikos and the resorts are pretty big so a bit of noise shouldn't be an issue. If it gets too much they do room service as part of the all inclusive too so you can always eat in your room (I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying this is an option which you might find really useful for all sorts of reasons).

It is IKos not our usual budget. But a lovely relative has insisted on gifting us a lovely break. She's just got divorced and is adamant she's treating me to her favourite holiday resort

Presumably she feels Ikos would be good enough for your son then!

@ilovevinyl hahaha what a delight you are! Of course we did.

Not to be a downer but I'm on a very popular Ikos group and recently there have been so many threads about badly behaved kids (which yours isn't). The resort and staff are lovely but the crowd that does visit these resorts are coming there with expectations to get their money's worth.

Then you must go. S/he must be a good friend to make such a generous offer. Your family deserves a fabulous holiday just as much as the rest of the families there.

The only way it would bother me would be if he was awake shouting till late at night/through the night as walls can be very thin. But it's lovely to see kids having a great time and clear that you're a great mum so if night shouting is not a problem then I think you should go and make some fantastic memories.

This is why I book adult only hotels and will pay more for it. Your child has the right to be on holiday and be as noisy as he wants to be but I also have the right to not want to be exposed to their noise and screams so instead of me being upset by your autistic screaming child (I am autistic and I'm also dying of cancer) I just won't book any kind of holiday where children are at all.

Did you at attempt to clean the 'huge mess' or did you just expect the 'lovely staff' to clear up your child's mess? Special needs or not I think it's basic parenting to clean up after your child or is it that she has learning difficulties that you're exempt from cleaning up after her?

Last time I was an AI in a quiet resort area people were swimming at 11 and making a lot of racket but some noise is pretty normal on holiday

I’ve never been to an AI, am doing so this year (now have a DC who I think would like it). I’ve assumed it’s going to be noisy so it wouldn’t bother me at all plus my Dd is like a foghorn so I doubt I would be noticing anyone elses kids, just focussed on my own.

He has just as much right as anyone else to go on a holiday. I hope you all enjoy it and get some r&r in.

I haven't been (sadly) but I would imagine that there is much more space in those resorts, so that people can withdraw and have more privacy if it all gets a bit overstimulating. I can't imagine anyone (even wealthy patrons 🤔!) will be upset at seeing a little boy having a lovely time.

If it’s a family friendly place with lots of children about then it’s fine as it’ll already be noisy and kids making all kinds of noise being kids. But I’d be wary if your DC also makes a lot of noise at night time as that’s when you may get complaints if he’s disturbing others at night as of course they will want a good nights sleep and will likely complaint to the hotel. You could request a room at an end possibly to mitigate.