Bringing a SEN child to an expensive holiday

I find your husband’s attitude odd.

Your DC has the same right to a nice holiday as anyone’s. Also, if he thinks your child’s noise would disturb people, why is that ok for people who have booked a cheaper holiday and not an expensive one? (And to be clear I’m saying it’s ok in either scenario!)

Just let the hotel know. There will be rooms that are better insulated than others.

But OP your live must be tiring. You need a break. Go and enjoy it. I really hope you meet the 90% of people who are understanding and not the 10% of people who are arseholes.

Absolute heh at the notion that kids in the state sector are accepting of SN. If only.

Yes I would definitely take him, sounds like he’ll love it and you deserve the holiday too. We took Sen dd last year to a fairly high end resort. Because it was a family resort no one batted an eye lid, it was full of excitable children. I have eyes in the back of my head with dd as she does like to get up to mischief. A lot of other parents weren’t watching their kids a lot of the time and we saw all types of behaviour going on. Dd was very well behaved compared even though she can be extremely noisy. She wasn’t the only Sen child there either.

Please go and have a wonderful time! We are just back from a long awaited, AI holiday in Greece with our three. What an amazing time we had, great memories made in a fantastic, noisy, friendly resort. I feel so grateful to have given my kids that experience and you & your son are entitled to that just as much as anyone.

The pool area had such a buzz and 'white noise' about it (lots of slides etc) so stimming might not seem as loud to others as you may think it would? Not that it would bother me but just if that would help your DH relax a bit more.

Our next door neighbour in the hotel was so loud - screaming at her kids most mornings & evenings. Give me an excited/happy child over that any day!

What a ridiculous thing to say. Do only children at state schools have siblings, friends or relatives with special needs? Not to mention partnership links between schools. One of the most judgy things I've seen on Mumsnet.

I was about to ask if it was Sani or Ikos. Both are huge complexes and should be used to guests with specific needs. I’d contact them and ask about recommended rooms that meet your needs - near the pool for easy access/in a family area/near outdoor space etc.
Go and enjoy your holiday!

As someone with no kids who struggles with noise I would be way more irritated by screeching and bellowing drunk adults and uncontrolled poorly behaved noisy NT kids (like I said I have no kids so have standards that are entirely unachievable!) than by a child who was ND and noisy. It’s the same concept in my brain as when toddlers and babies are just doing what they do and aren’t able to regulate their behaviour for my benefit!

If I want peace and quiet I will go to a villa or to an adults only place.
If they would love the holiday go on the holiday!

I always opted for a villa with my DS. I also found that better educated persons were definitely more tolerant.

I’ve got two autistic boys and I’ve found the opposite. A huge generalisation but less wealthy people tend to be less well educated whereas a wealthy people tend to be better Wi-Fi aged and far more accepting of my children’s behaviours.

It would not bother me one bit if he made lots of noise during the day. I am far more preoccupied with entertaining my own children, I probably wouldn’t even notice with the general noise all of the children at the resort would be making.

I agree with PPs though that if he is really noisy at night that might be unfair for the people in the rooms around you.

Sadly this is true! I also always used to notice how ‘behaved’ the French children were in restaurants, even really little ones just sitting there perfectly for hours with no extras like colouring books or anything.

Then I read a Guardian article about the many autistic children in France still sent to institutions and how the general attitude there to autism and SEN is very, very behind. They are generally hidden away from society.

Take him. Family resorts are for all families. Adults who don't want to be disturbed can go to adult only resorts.

I wouldn't mind this type of noise on holiday, the worst thing is drunk adults, much worse than any child however noisy badly behaved or badly parented (not that yours is obviously).

Night time noise is potentially more annoying but hotel walls are usually thick enough. Again it's normally drunk adults getting back late and banging doors that causes the most disturbance, I don't recall ever being disturbed at night by screaming babies on a hotel (other than my own!)

The expensive resort thing is a bit snobby - why is it ok to potentially disturb a poor person's holiday but not a rich person's? Ask your husband what his logic is

Id happily have your son over the man who smoked over us today ....take him..he and you deserve it

Take him and have a wonderful time

We go to Sani with SEN DD, they're great with kids.

I'v never really seen couples there, just families and in my experience those with younger families these days are much more open minded about this sort of thing.

We went on holiday one year and we're waiting to board the plane home. A lady and her mum where accompanied by the lady's son in a wheelchair who was non verbal. He was happily babbling away and people were looking at him funny 😞 I went over to say hello and the mum was trying to shush him. I told her not to be daft that I knew what it was like with the funny looks as I look after my niece 4 days a week who is non verbal and severely disabled too. I spoke to the wee boy and he ended up kissing my hand and the mum had tears as nobody usually took the time to talk to him.
Take your son on the holiday and have the most amazing time with him ❤️

I'm so sorry.

I'm autistic and sympathise with op, but I sympathise with you too. I hope you find a peaceful holiday.

It's tough being an autistic adult who can see themselves in children but who also want a quiet holiday.

Op is a good person for trying to find this correct balance it must be tough!

Op you are such a lovely person to think about others in the way you are but please don’t worry and go enjoy it. I can’t ever imagine this bothering me on holidays or home, I would be delighted to see a family having a nice trip!

The only thing I would say is - are you going to be able to relax and enjoy it without worrying all the time that your child is annoying other people?
If so then go for it.
You sound like you know how to manage his behaviours the best you can. Do what suits your family.

I wouldn’t I couldn’t relax for worrying which I think is what you DH will be like

Wow, I’d love to go to Ikos…

Definitley go, and have an amazing time!

We went to Sani once (with two autistic ADHD children, one of whom had regular meltdowns), and it was great. The staff were fab. We found the restaurants you had to book a bit more difficult than the buffet style ones, as sometimes people were trying to have quiet meals, but altogether a much better experience than regular 4/5* hotels in the med, where people (especially English tourists) have been a lot more judgemental. And a lot of the other clearly much wealthier guests there with children at dinner had them on iPads with headphones, something I had been too self conscious to allow my kids to do before. Whatever works, you deserve a nice holiday too!

I have a SEN child and the only thing I'd be thinking of if I was you was whether your child will enjoy it, and that it won't cause too much distress.

Mine would love it!

If yours would too then he has just as much right to enjoy a holiday as any one else.

The world is disabling enough without his own dad putting walls and barriers up for him when he should be breaking them down.