Bringing a SEN child to an expensive holiday

I think the only problem is the early waking noise. Many people will go off being woken on a holiday from noise. I would definitely find a villa that is separate. Then you not only keep from waking people but you don't have to flinch at every noise afraid of complaining guests and management.

Sounds like it will be a good learning opportunity for them.

go on the holiday that works for your family.

flying wouldn’t work for DS (we have tried not in any hurry to try again!) but he loves cruises and they work well for him. I am sure some people judge but I no longer care he is happy, I am happy and that’s what matters

Why should spending a lot of money on an expensive family holiday exempt people from being around an SEN child? Your child has as much right to be there and enjoy his holiday as anyone else.

@sandygrapes , my husband and I holiday at IKOS resorts once a year; I imagine that’s the sort of place you’re talking about? We’re grandparents and stay at IKOS as a couple. Over the years we’ve seen and met lots of couples, many honeymooners, also on holiday there. There are pools, areas on the beach and in restaurants which are adult only so it’s not a family only resort at all. I’m very happy to have families around and sometimes children can be a bit loud either because they’re stressed or having fun, not a bother to us but I do think that while adults need to be understanding to families and children those families need to understand that those without children are also entitled to enjoy their holiday. You have a child with special needs that should not mean that there is anywhere you ought not go at the same time as being aware and respectful of those around you just like everyone should.
Have a lovely holiday.

Of course you should go!
If it helps, I know of someone who went to an Ikos and I think they got a 1:1 in the kids club for their SEN child. Might be worth a call to see if possible so you can have a few hours off.
Took our SEN kid on a Neilson holiday a few years ago. They were amazing and we got him a 1:1 for the kids club. Everyone knew him after about a day as he flapped and squealed his way (happily) round the resort. He is so obviously autistic that other people didn't really bat an eyelid (in the sense they could tell different behaviour expectations were necessary) and were super kind.
Have a wonderful time

I have a friend who has a daughter who is loud and uncontrollable, as in she runs about in restaurants, she is also non verbal. My friend has had comments and dirty looks and although she's more than capable of fending them off, it's stressful every time they go to eat, so I think you have to be honest with yourself and think do I want the stress of being constantly on guard or go for a villa where you can all relax

Why don't you suggest to the kind relative that instead of paying the high amount for Ikos - you go for a holiday village type (much more likely to be noisy and FULL of kids) and if it goes well, go twice! That would probably cost less than Ikos and your husband wouldn't be so on edge.

All child friendly resorts are noisy, that's why we avoid them now my kids are a bit older.

We went to the first Greek one when it first opened and had a mixed experience, we'd arrived a couple of days before half term and it was full of what looked like instagram influencers. So massive lips, huge tattooed eye brows and fake breasts on the women and tattooed overly muscly husbands. Everyone screeching at each other at the pool, changing nappies on chairs, babies with those ridiculous bows on etc.....
Then they all left and were replaced with normal people. It was very odd.

Anyway, it was noisy, kids ran around, there were disabled people. You'll have a nice time. Just maybe avoid the two days before May half term starts?

I don’t think even the nighttime noise would be too much of an issue in a luxury resort. The rooms are often spaced out a fair bit. I’d contact them beforehand and explain the situation, ask for a room that’s out of the way and ask if there is one that’s better at containing noise. And remember with the time difference he’ll probably sleep in a little later than normal.

I think it's completely reasonable to take him if you want to and if you think he would enjoy it. He has as much right to be there as anyone else.

My only concern is whether your DH would be able to relax if he was constantly feeling guilty/worrying about what others were thinking.

Agree that you really need to talk to the hotel about finding accommodation that is a little away from others. Totally unfair to be making noise at 5 am.

If I was a guest in a neighbouring room I would be furious and very upset . I think most people would.

To be honest , if I was on holiday and there was a lot of noise / children having meltdowns etc I would find it hugely annoying / stressful , hence we tend to do villa holidays in quiet locations.

Agree with the comments about France - avoid!

Same here. Day time noise- go for it, not a problem as my kids could be quite noisy when playing too and people should expect that.

However, being really honest, I think I would struggle being woken up at 5am every day. I get super grumpy without sleep and it would impact my enjoyment of the holiday. A villa would be a good option though.

Hope you all have a great time!

The daytime noise wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I was there with my own excitable kids. I'd be happy to see your boy enjoying himself!

As others have said, night time noise may be an issue. If I or my kids were woken at 5am every day we'd be knackered and the lack of sleep would spoil our holiday to be honest (appreciate you deal with this all the time OP). So I'd probably talk to the company and try for a villa or an end apartment where his room isn't next to anyone.

Good luck and hope you find a good holiday option and enjoy yourselves!

Go. If people go to a family hotel with kids then they should expect kids to be there and that will inevitably involve some noise- from toddlers, babies too etc.

If people want a really quiet holiday with no kid noises then they should go to an adults only hotel.

If you are going to the Holiday Village in Rhodes, you really don’t need to worry!

We went there one August and made the mistake of staying close to the “relax pool”. That pool was actually full of noisy adults (as well as lots of lively DC) who were riding about the pool on inflatable flamingos, to get to the swim up bar for their cocktails, or dancing by the pool and singing along karaoke style to the singer who sang things like “Rolling on the river” at loud volume all day… no need to worry about disturbing anyone at all 🙈

It also has a big restaurant which is already noisy with kids and cutlery clattering etc.

I would add I have an autistic dd who would be very upset by random noise, she won't go to swimming pools too noisy! That said I wouldn't take her to that sort of resort as a kid, all autistic people are different. She's the quiet semi mute type!

@sandygrapes

Based on your up date about early waking, could you find a resort with individual villas? I don't think it's fair to be making excessive noise on holiday before 10am ever, and that includes young children, thankfully I had a lazy pair that even at a year old would happily snooze until I woke them up for breakfast at 9

I’d probably go somewhere that has a big “active pool” and a “quiet relax” pool. The active pools at those places are so noisy, in my opinion, that children can make as much noise as they like and no-one will bat an eyelid and there is fairly loud music playing in the background.

The holiday makers who are looking for peace and quiet will have gone off the quiet pool. I know quite a bit about some of these resorts as I have an autistic DC who isn’t good with noise, so we pick holidays like that so she can spend time in the quieter area but we take it in turns to take the others to the noisier area.

The bigger holiday village/Tui type resorts often have multiple areas and loads of space to get about too. Plus the all inclusive/multiple snack bar set ups mean that you never have to wait for food for too long!

I have a two year old - she's not autistic, but she is two, and being vocal is one of her favourite things!

I certainly wouldn't take her to a swanky restaurant or cocktail bar (don't imagine you'd subject your son to these either!), but if she's whooping with joy at the beach or the pool, I'm damn well going to let her. It's the kids holiday too.

Go OP, and enjoy every minute!

To be fair I don’t like any kind of other adults either, NT or not 😂
Remote airbnbs are a godsend.
but that’s my choice, I wouldn’t book an AI then moan about it.

take the child (leave the H behind).

You know that disabled kids grow up in many cases to be disabled adults. Imagine you encounter this during an adults only holiday. Shock horror!