MIL has bought a forward facing seat for 2 year old?

Mine are 17 and 19 and it may have been the recommendation then but I certainly don't remember it and no one I knew had done it.

That said they were in full backed child seats until senior school at which point they flatly refused to be seen by friends in them. Even though they were just under the height where they were officially no longer required.

They pointed out that great granny was shorter and didn't have to use a car seat 😀.

@SoreAndTired1 you're completely wrong.
And your attitude is what the poor OP is having to deal with.

www.nhtsa.gov/sites/nhtsa.gov/files/documents/carseat-recommendations-for-children-by-age-size.pdf

Am I the only grandmother who insisted on RF when in my car, when both the parents were desperate to get DGS facing forward?

I remember his father (now my ex-son-in-law)saying nobody else at nursery pick-up had their kids still rear-facing at 18 months, “everyone” had switched to FF at 15 months so why was DGS expected to feel like a baby?

DD wanted DGS forward facing so she could talk to him… I hate going in her car because she looks at DGS more than she looks at the road ahead.

ExDSIL hates the bulk of the HBB and wants DGS7 in a “normal” little booster ASAP.

I protest but it all falls on deaf ears.

Wow…if you think a 2 year old is too old this will absolutely blow your mind - my 6 year old still rear faces.

He has a very comfortable Axkid Minikid car seat, lots of room for his legs, excellent view out of the windows, never car sick and bonus if we are ever in a car crash he is in the safest possible seat.

He is 122cm tall - will move him forward facing in c6 months when his sister grows out of her current seat.

Wow.

And it's not about chance, it's about being able to get to the child in good time, which would be a little difficult if she was driving on a motorway, as was the example OP gave.

Editing to add that I, too, am interested to know why you think a two-year-old is "way too old" to travel in a rear-facing seat, but I suspect you'll not have an answer to the question. The child is two, not twenty-two, and is well under the height and weight restrictions for a rear-facing seat.

I wouldn’t want mine choking in the car when you’re driving and can’t get to them quickly.
I don’t let mine eat in the car either OP and I also quite like not having crumbs in my car if I can help it. Call me highly strung if you will - I call myself safety conscious and tidy 🤣

And at two, he is way too old to be in a rear-facing seat.

He really isn't.

What exactly makes a two year old “too old” to be rear facing?

This, and your OP makes you sound really highly strung and like you're going to be one of those irrational helicopter parents. Is your son a PFB? That might explain it. Choking could happen anywhere. There is no more chance of it happening in a car than happening in your loungeroom or in his bedroom. And at two, he is way too old to be in a rear-facing seat. You really seem very highly strung and unbearable, and I am very pro kids rights. Sorry, but i 99% of the time side with OPs over their MILs, but I truly feel for your MIL, and I feel for your son.

I had this problem with my in-laws. I didn’t back down and bought them a rear facing seat. They were all in them till they were 4 ish I think.
I did get constant whinging about how hard it was to put them in them

’ve got a two year old, it’d be a no from me. It’s not safe,

Well that's not true. Forward facing, properly fitted seats are safe. There is an argument that rear facing may be slightly safer, but that doesn't make forward facing "not safe" in comparison.

Is it for her car? If she's expecting you to use it yours I just wouldn't use it. If it's for her car though then I wouldn't worry to much. I wanted to rear face ours but had no choice but to turn them all forward by about 3 at the latest as they were all vomiting badly reer facing. You said child doesn't go in her car too much so really if child is forward facing occasionally in her car it doesn't matter. Definitely not worth bumping heads with MIL over.

She doesn't think it's worth it? Hmm. I wonder what other things she will decide are not worth it even though there is a significant health/safety element. This comment would make me not trust her with my kid. Is she the type to give a child sweets and chocolate behind the parent's back even though the parent has said not to, because she knows best?

Definitely stick to your guns ☺️ A two year old is far too young to be forward facing. It’s just not worth the risk and if anything happened you wouldn’t forgive yourself.

My 5.5 year old still rear faces and prefers it to forward facing. We will have to change him soon due to baby #3 arriving but otherwise I would keep in the car seat till he grew out of it.

Best of luck x

Mirrors exist. @EnglishBluebell should have used one.

They don’t get cramped legs - their hip and their pelvis is not fully developed yet.

They don’t have a lack of stimulation - ERF seats are higher up, so they can see more looking out the back window and the sides than they can in a forward facing seat.

They aren’t isolated - mirrors exist.

There is no increased chance of car sickness with rear facing, and a child having carsickness doesn’t mean they shouldn’t rear face.

Oh my goodness how terrifying for you. This is what would worry me about not being able to see my child.

So confused by people saying about the lack of stimulation rear facing. How much more stimulation do you get forward facing??
They can still look out of the window, talk to us, listen to music, see us (in the mirrors), talk to their sibling who is also rear facing 🤷‍♀️my two year old has never known any different and is perfectly happy in the car.

I’m from Australia and not far off 70 years of age. I had my children young (first at 19) and when they were babies it was a carry cot/moses basket for the baby in the back seat. I had a European car so it did have seatbelts in the back too. I used to wrap the carry cot in mosquito netting, then the seatbelt around the carry cot and through the handles but in an accident I doubt it would have helped really.

By the time the oldest was 5 they had fitted car seats but I’m not even sure they were ‘safety tested’ and regulated. But still, baby capsules had not arrived on the market. Actually when my oldest was born it was not illegal to not wear a seatbelt, and many back seats of cars didn’t have them fitted. It wasn’t like we were unaware. The hospital paediatrician came around to speak to all the new mums in the hospital and I remember him saying that an unrestrained child in a car going at 30miles per hour which was stopped suddenly in an accident, is equivalent to them falling 3 stories. It scared us all half to death but not much we could do about it at the time. I took my firstborn home, holding in my arms while riding in the backseat, while ex husband drove more slowly than usual. At least there was no where near as much traffic on the roads back then.

It actually doesn't matter whether rear facing is safer or whether random mumsnetters can 'get their head around it', OP's MIL knows what OP has decided is best for her child and has gone ahead and overridden her. This is annoying enough when it's about slipping kids chocolate before lunch or letting them stay up late when mum's not about, but when what's at stake is a child's safety it's really crappy behaviour.

Christ, there are some obtuse posters here (who appear incapable of looking at photographs).

I have two children. DD1 is now 23. DD2 is 2. When I had DD1, ERF wasn't really known about (I didn't know anything). I did what I thought was best and bought a good quality Britax forward-facing seat for DD1 when she outgrew her infant carrier. Thankfully we never had an accident.

Now that DD2 is here, 21 years later, the advice and safety has changed. DD2 is rear facing. She will be rear facing until she is 5 or 6. We have a mirror so we can see her. Her legs are fine. She is perfectly happy in a rear facing seat which is considerably safer than forward facing.

The safety evidence of ERF is overwhelming. My daughter's safety is paramount. Therefore she will rear face.

@BertieBotts honestly and sincerely would like to thank you for your post. That is so kind and reassuring.