I think mum threatened toddler, she doesn't, AIBU?

You need to protect your baby from being hit by a toddler (yours, anyone else) at all costs. That's your job.

Agree with all of this

I don’t think that it’s ok for your mum to speak like that and wouldn’t be allowing her to be in my dc life.

Agree with this. Badly phrased. It would have been better phrased as “how would you feel if “. However it’s doubtful the toddler understood and I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

YANBU. I would not allow that language around my child.

I read it as a threat, she should have moved the toddler away, like you did, instead of making verbal threats.

OP, your toddler needs very firm handling re hitting a baby.
Absolutely unacceptable.
Your poor baby.
It shouldn't happen more than once.
I wouldn't like your mother threatening the toddler, and you clearly have issues with your mother.
However, the REAL issue is keeping the baby safe, above everything.

Why didn’t you just put down what you were doing and go to your baby when they cried. I wouldn’t let a toddler who could hit near the baby without me being there. Poor baby.

Don't be so ridiculous. You need to get a grip. Massive over reaction by you.

Exactly! ⬆️ It was a similar phrase to the old 'classic' of, "How would you like it?"

Unless she has form, she wasn't about to hit your child.

I also would have told my mum not to, don’t think you are overreacting. I’m amazed at the amount of people who do!!

I also have a bad past with my mum. She’s a raging narcissist and I will never let her look after my child alone. Is your mum a narcissist too, sounds like she has some traits?

I'm with you actually OP. She could have said 'how would it feel if someone hit you' or 'you would not like to be hit, would you?' But she didn't.

However it is a high priority for the baby not to be hit, and no actual harm was done to the toddler, so I would let it go (and next time the toddler starts hitting baby, drop what you are doing first and deal with it yourself).

I don’t see it as a threat, just clumsy wording as others have said. And you need to stop ‘working on’ your toddler hitting your baby and start protecting your baby until your toddler has learned to manage themselves better.

Yes I think it was a threat. A useless one.

This.

This. If hitting the baby is something your toddler likes to do you need to come up with a way to stop them or your baby could get really hurt.

Ultimately you need to keep your baby out of harms way whilst your toddler is liable to hit out.

A playpen foe the toddler is the obvious answer.

A big old fashioned wooden one.

I had one and when I had children I bought a vintage one and I could do housework exercise, make a phone call in peace, answer the door etc whilst looking in on playpen.

They are a god send.

Two.

I'm wondering what age the toddler is?

If she is 14 months old then she just can't be near the baby until she gets past the hitting stage, and reasoning with her is pointless. If she is three then the grandmother's comment was fine.

I think this is one of these where the OP won’t be able to win to be honest. Some threads just go haywire and personally insulting her and her parenting isn’t helpful. So many children go through a hitting phase when there’s a new baby and sometimes the thread fills up with criticism aimed in favour of the eldest child, that you’ve basically committed adultery, poor eldest, blah blah, or it’s poor baby, you’re a gentle parent, you’re ineffective …

Truth is it just takes a while for things to settle down. I wouldn’t like what your mum said either to be honest but probably not worth making a fuss over.

I think that there are some people who we find it hard to be objective about when it comes to their parenting and they are usually people we have some sort of history with or we dislike. It’s also very normal to have it with parents and in-laws. The best thing to do is to make sure those people aren’t in a situation they can consider themselves to be supervising the child/ren or have a say in what they do.

What's the betting 'working on it' consists of little more than 'oh doooooooooon't do that daaaaaaarling' and a million excuses about how he is overwhelmed by having a sibling. I wonder how often a good firm NO is used.

That's not the same at all in my opinion. What was said did sound like the grandmother was prepared to hit the toddler even if she wouldn't actually do it.

I think the fact that you're "working on" your toddler hitting your baby is clearly not enough.

I think you're overreacting, to be honest. I'd just interpret that as 'How would you feel if you got clumped on the head?' which is a perfectly valid point to make to a toddler. When a toddler is clouting a baby on the head, it really isn't the time to be stressing about semantics and what does/doesn't constitute a threat. Your mother wanted the toddler to stop thumping the baby as quickly as possible and it really didn't need you to set up a steward's enquiry into her specific wording after the event.