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Original poster

How would you split holiday cost?

166 replies

Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:38

I've booked a holiday for myself, sister and my son to go to Greece. Her husband has said he'd pay 'some' money towards the holiday as her birthday present but I'm not sure what a fair split would be.

The holiday total was £1880. This included a free child's place so effectively my son is free.

However, I'm willing to pay more towards the holiday as if I had decided to book just myself and son, the cost would have been £1750 (no free child's place for one adult).

What do you think is a reasonable amount for my sisters husband to pay? I'm thinking £500.

Money is much tighter for them as my sister doesn't work (she's disabled) but her husband regularly goes on holiday without her.

OP posts:
Marchbug · 30/05/2024 16:17

Definitely ask him for 1/3, if he can afford his trips away he can afford that, and you can afford to give her the nice time it sounds like she deserves!

RitaIncognita · 30/05/2024 16:13

This man regularly goes on holidays without his disabled wife. He is the only bread winner. Of course he should pay. I think he should pay at least one third.

ExasperatedManager · 30/05/2024 16:07

Was it his idea for her to go with you, OP? If so, I think it's fair to ask him to contribute more.

If it was your suggestion, maybe not.

itsmylife7 · 30/05/2024 15:57

After your update about him spending lots of money on himself .. say yes to £500.
Your sister can then treat herself on holiday.

ToWonderWhyIBother · 30/05/2024 15:53

Me personally I would split the cost 3 ways you pay 2/3 and your brother in law pays 1/3 £600 that way if he doesn't give your sister any spending money, you will be able to treat her to a few nice things days out etc.

If he always complains that he has no money for your sister and then spends lots on himself its only a portion of what your sister is due.

Enjoy your holiday with your sister and son

Original poster
Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 15:51

GabriellaMontez · 30/05/2024 15:22

The word is sharing. Just like you might share petrol on a big trip.

It would be like accepting a lift then say "I'm not sharing petrol, you were going anyway".

Subsidising would be just paying towards the OPs holiday, but not going on it.

Show quote history

That's an excellent point you know. So I'd never dream of asking them to pay towards petrol to the airport or parking but I do think it's reasonable to pay towards the holiday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 15:48

MightyGoldBear · 30/05/2024 14:31

Maybe ask the husband what he had in mind ? If you can comfortably afford it maybe she has the money as spending money?

I get that 500 is cheap for a AI holiday. But it's still a lot if money is tight. I wouldn't be able to afford to go.

With the comments about him holidaying alone regularly is that you saying you feel he could absolutely afford 500 or that there is a inbalance between them? Or just purely context.

Yes I think he could afford £500 as he spends money frequently on himself.

I'm happy to just pay for it all but I certainly don't think it's fair if he tries to do it as her birthday present when I will be paying for it.

OP posts:
RaverQuavers · 30/05/2024 15:40

GabriellaMontez · 30/05/2024 15:36

Sharing petrol is rude and tacky?

Ok. Have a good day.

Yes. If you were already driving somewhere and offered to take someone else it’s incredibly weird to them ask for money towards a trip you were going to be paying 100% towards in the first place.

good lord

GabriellaMontez · 30/05/2024 15:36

Sharing petrol is rude and tacky?

Ok. Have a good day.

RaverQuavers · 30/05/2024 15:32

GabriellaMontez · 30/05/2024 15:22

The word is sharing. Just like you might share petrol on a big trip.

It would be like accepting a lift then say "I'm not sharing petrol, you were going anyway".

Subsidising would be just paying towards the OPs holiday, but not going on it.

Show quote history

If I offered someone a lift I’d never dream of asking for petrol money.

It’s incredibly rude and a bit tacky.

The BIL is doing just that, paying towards the OPs holiday and not actually going on it

GabriellaMontez · 30/05/2024 15:22

RaverQuavers · 30/05/2024 14:47

I’d honestly say it’s the difference between the cost of you going alone and taking her with you.

£500 is asking him to subsidize your holiday

The word is sharing. Just like you might share petrol on a big trip.

It would be like accepting a lift then say "I'm not sharing petrol, you were going anyway".

Subsidising would be just paying towards the OPs holiday, but not going on it.

Apollonia1 · 30/05/2024 15:19

I think it depends how you planned the holiday. Did you decide the location, timeframe, duration? Or was your sister involved in the planning?

If you decided it all, and your sister can join in with your plans for £100, then I'd just charge her the £100.
If you planned it together, then something like £500 is fairer.

However, since her husband is tight, and he is paying for it, then charge him at least £500, and treat your sister to day-trips, or a long weekend away another time, etc with the money!

For what it's worth, I am going on holidays with my 2 kids. In the place I booked, you need to pay for minimum 2 adults. After I had booked, I asked my sister if she wanted to come along - I didn't charge her anything, but she'll pay for wine or something. It's a fancy place (Sani), so it would have been a shame to not make use of a paid-for adult place.

RaverQuavers · 30/05/2024 14:47

I’d honestly say it’s the difference between the cost of you going alone and taking her with you.

£500 is asking him to subsidize your holiday

GabriellaMontez · 30/05/2024 14:44

I would say half or a third.

That's a great price for a week away.

(Assuming she's not on a sofa bed or something)

meganorks · 30/05/2024 14:44

Yeah say £500. Still less for her than a straight 3 way split.

Money isn't tight if he can regularly afford to go on holiday without her. Also, how fucking mean to regularly go on 'hobby' holidays but leave your wife desperate to go away!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 30/05/2024 14:37

' but her husband regularly goes on holiday without her.'

so...money isn't that tight for them.

based on that I would tell him 1/3 of £1880, and you can use the additional money on treating her and you whilst on holiday

peebles32 · 30/05/2024 14:37

I think I would say 300 towards it!

HcbSS · 30/05/2024 14:34

500 sounds great and you sound like a lively sister.
Your BIL sounds like a bit of an arse though. Her disabilities clearly don’t stop her going away as she is going with you! So why can’t he take her every now and again?!

MightyGoldBear · 30/05/2024 14:31

Maybe ask the husband what he had in mind ? If you can comfortably afford it maybe she has the money as spending money?

I get that 500 is cheap for a AI holiday. But it's still a lot if money is tight. I wouldn't be able to afford to go.

With the comments about him holidaying alone regularly is that you saying you feel he could absolutely afford 500 or that there is a inbalance between them? Or just purely context.

mitogoshi · 30/05/2024 14:06

Splitting 3 ways is fair so £500 is fine

Amx · 30/05/2024 14:03

I would say £300.

WitchyBits · 30/05/2024 12:15

Divide the cost of the holiday into 3 and then you pay 2/3? A free child place isn't free, it's a gimmick and the price is already worked in.

goingdownfighting · 30/05/2024 11:27

I'd say £500 from her husband then treat her to a massage and a meal out.

caringcarer · 30/05/2024 11:25

I'd tell him £400. Then you can treat your sister to a few meals, given it's only costing you £100 extra to include her. It sounds like he might keep your sister short of money if he can afford trips but she's always short of money.

bridgetreilly · 30/05/2024 11:16

I think that sounds fair. It’s still a really cheap all-inclusive holiday for her.