How would you split holiday cost?

£593.

Because it’s almost a third, and no-one can argue that a third isn’t a reasonable start point to suggest?

No. Because that’s the cost of a divorce application in the U.K.

Bear in mind that these ‘free’ child’s spaces aren’t really free. They just inflate the adult prices and then pretend you get the child for free.

We’ve booked a week in Spain in August. One Travel agent was offering free child places. Another one wasn’t. Yet the total price they were charging, for the same flights and hotel, were within a few pence of each other.

I'd hazard a guess that it's because your brother-in-law is a cunt. And that's not a word I use often.

Same. I would mention to the husband that your sister might need £x spending/excursion money too.

If it's coming from her money (assuming she isn't working due to disability and so has DLA/PIP) then I'd say the difference in price between just you and ds going vs the 3 of you going is fair. But if it's his dollar then £500 at least!

If you and DS were going anyway, I’d just charge her the difference. £130.

I was just thinking £500 before you said it ... sounds about right and a good deal for her.

I feel sorry for the sister who is getting ummed and ahhhhed and discussed without her even knowing. Like has anyone actually asked what the sister actually wants to do or how she feels? I very much doubt it.

Definitely get some cash off him as sounds like he has right reign over the household.

No one else bothered by the fact money is 'tight' yet he goes on holiday without her

Several people have mentioned it.

Why doesn’t he take her? Does he find it difficult? Do you have to step in when he’s away to help your sister?

Id ask for the £500 and have a blast.

No one else bothered by the fact money is 'tight' yet he goes on holiday without her 🤔🙄

Yes absolutely and if I were paying, I would be clear it is a birthday present from me, not from him. He would most certainly not be getting any credit if I were footing the bill for the whole trip

I think it would be fair for your sister to pay a third, but if you can afford to cover the whole thing for her, or just to ask for the £500 you've suggested, I think that would be a very nice thing for you to do.

Because it wasn’t going to be paid for by family income in the first place?

The op was booking a holiday for herself and asked her sister if she wanted to come too. If they had planned it together etc. then sure. But that’s not really what’s happened here is it

I think a lot of this is about principal,

yes the Op is not out of pocket re the difference between her and her child v her, her sister and her child - was it £130 ish

it is the fact that he gets to holiday frequently

without his wife !!!

and ' we ' don't know how much actual spending money he would give esp as it is an A I holiday

and it is getting put as being her birthday present !

Asking for £600 - or £500 as you suggest - is fair, on the basis that her excursions/treats outside of the all-inclusive deal were covered, within reason.

I think a lot on here would also do well to remember those vows, given how many threads seem to lead to advice about hiding money from husbands etc

Who suggested it, etc etc is beside the point. This man needs to pay for his wife to have a holiday. The OP has provided that opportunity. He needs to pay at least 1/3. If finances are tight, perhaps he can forgo one of his holidays in the future.

I think 1/3 or maybe £500 would be fine to ask for. But I'd be keeping all of that money to one side except for the £100 or so uplift in cost to you, and passing it back on to your sister in some way or another. Probably not in cash, but either by paying for trips, or holding it back to treat her for days out or things she needs but isn't given the money for in the UK.

@Dinoswearunderpants Well the extra cost to you is only £130 and you would have spent the rest of it anyway if your sister wasn't in the picture. So that bit is fine

How much extra over and above that, does depend, IMO how much spending money he is going to give her for things like trips and any extras not included in the AI holiday. If you get £500/600 in total from him, and he doesn't give her any spending money contribution, then I would give your sister the balance, after taking off the £130 ( you did say he was tight, so that way you can be sure the money is there for her before you go?)

Or did he mean he would give her spending money rather than contributing to the cost of the holiday? In which case, you still should be chasing up the £130 which was the extra cost to you?

Edited to add the OP's name

Yes, but the OP would have to pay almost as much if her sister wasn't going. She was originally going with just her ds.

But she is going it's a holiday for 2 adults and a child. The 2nd adult would have to pay half if her son wasn't going.

she should pay 1/3 out of her household budget , is she being financially abused or seems like it.

Of course she should, but for me, a lot depends on how this whole arrangement came to be suggested.

If the OP suggested it and is basically expecting her BIL to stump up the costs for a holiday that she would have otherwise paid for herself, I'm not sure that's reasonable.

What would be better, in my opinion, is for the BIL to cover the difference in cost of the holiday for the OP (£100), and then put another £400, say, towards an activity during the holiday that his wife would really enjoy. Or towards another weekend away for his wife with a guest of her choosing - could be her husband, could be the OP, could be a friend etc.

£500 is asking him to subsidize your holiday.

No, it's not. It's asking him to pay for his disabled wife's holiday, when he regularly leaves her at home when he goes off on holiday. Why should she not have a holiday paid for from the family income?