Would you leave your DH to go on these trips with kids ?

@holsquestions - it might be financially viable, but it's not practically viable, if he can't do even basic adulting.

You need to talk to him.

And I suggest you totally ignore @Youcannotbeseriousreally - there's always one!! Focus on the advice you're getting from everyone else.

For god sake, look at you, so concerned about if OP is being fair to him and making sure he gets a break if she does, but not a single comment on how unfair it’s been to her to have to do all the housework and childcare. Why is that?

Go OP, and stop letting your husband do nothing in the house, no one has a job so demanding they can’t push a Hoover round.

I'm sure the OP and her husband have considered the impact of her taking some time out of the workforce.
Her H is self employed and even when OP was working, he still left her to do all the childcare and chores in the home. That's not exactly very supportive of him! Subsequently, OP is now unwell with MH issues, so she's not swanning off on holiday, she's being sensible and getting support from her family!
If her H had supported her better then she wouldn't feel the need to take this break.

I think OP has been pretty restrained considering the provocation.

Yes, but I have a DW not a DH so things are equal in our house.

I think you would benefit from counselling to work through the changes your family needs to make to ensure you are all healthy and happy. If you could find a therapist that offered a family based approach, that could be really helpful but from what you have shared, you need some focus on you.

FFS what is your problem?

It might be financially viable, but he doesn’t sound like he parents or does so much as load the dishwasher? Anyway yes I’d be going on holiday, but I’d also be wondering if I’d ever have a partner in my DH if I were you. No wonder you got burnt out working FT and doing the entirety of family and home life alone.

I’m a stay at home mum (kind of, I do paperwork for DHs business, but that’s only evenings and a day a week!) with chronic health conditions and am married to a self-employed man who works long hours and doesn’t get much in the way of holiday time so I get it! I know how you feel when you say it’s all on you re the home/kids etc. I’d definitely go, absolutely. I’m thinking of going abroad with a family member lter this summer, me and the DC, leaving DH at home. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that!

If I know most men he'll be delighted for the time alone

Are you this rude to him????

im sorry that you were just looking for sympathy and permission to swan off on holiday. I’m sure you still will regardless.

I do wonder how this thread would have gone if it read ‘ I’m a husband who quit my job because it was too much with the kids, should I go on holiday with them whilst my wife stays home and pays the bills so I can get a rest, she only gets 6 days leave and works all the time’

I would absolutely do this and I know plenty of families where one parent's family is abroad who do this. In your case it doesn't sound like your DH will miss out on time with you and the kids in any case given he is not really present so I am not sure what the argument is for not going is.

It's fine. He'll probably love time alone?! Both DH and I take the kids away on our own a couple of times a year for various reasons. We also have family holidays together but it's perfectly normal for us to leave the other one behind sometimes.
I literally count the days until DH takes the kids away. I love having time to myself!

@holsquestions I think you should go. I regret not taking up offers to holiday with my family purely because DP didn't know when he could get time off work.

Do you think he would enjoy the peace and quiet?

If your h is self employed but is working so hard that he can do absolutely no childcare or housework, and can only take one week of holiday, then he should be bringing in millions each year.

If he's not, then he should work out what he's being paid per hour. If it's crap, he should jack in the self-employed work and get a proper job where he can actually contribute to his family.

Absolutely do it.

Neither of them sound great.

Absolutely do it. We have both done this multiple times over the years, either off on own or off with kids. I love being with just my boys for a bit and I love the calm and independence of a bit of me time, even if I'm working.

It's a really healthy thing all round.

@Youcannotbeseriousreally - It’s so much more than that. Of course he can do that. It doesn’t sound like either of them are good partners to each other does it?

You are kidding, right?? Sounds like OP has worked herself into the ground and her useless h didn't step up, even when he knew she was struggling.

There's one partner who's not good here, but it's not OP.

Are you OP's useless h??

Your username is certainly apt 🙄🙄

OP you should go. It's not a 'holiday' as such - you'll still be looking after the kids, just as you would at home, but with some help as your partner doesn't give you any support there at all.

My mum used to take us to our nans every half term, because it was too much having all of us in the house for a week solid alone. It's entirely normal.

Your partner has the power to change things if he wanted, but instead, left you to get to your breaking point - so something will need to change, but it sounds like it's going to be you. Don't let his unwillingness to change drag you down and put you and the children at financial risk. Don't give everything up without making sure that you still have pension contributions etc.