Fall out with Grandson

I would love to hear the backstory that would excuse a youth punching a woman in the stomach.

Especially one who willingly wanted to have a sleepover.

Why would you love to hear my thoughts?

I would say if someone was being attacked then you do all means necessary to make sure you are safe and call the police.

It didnt sound like a prolonged attack from the OP's post - her Grandson was moody and sulky, was threatened with not have his gameplpay, punched Grandma, she slapped him back. They havent spoken since and she's wondering whether to buy him a present for his birthday!

You slapped your Grandson round the face?

You are an adult and he is a child!!

What have his parents said to you?

So @Bellaboo01 say if the grandmother punches her grandson in the stomach after verbally abusing and he slaps her back that’s wrong is it? Well it is but I wouldn’t blame him for doing so.

This is a grandmother who’s taken both grandsons out, paid for them for the day and then had them stay on a sleepover. Yes, probably the teenager (14) might not be pleased with all this but his words and behaviour are out of order. Even more so as his older relative is looking after him and treating him.

Would love your thoughts on these questions, especially the last one, so I can try to understand where you're coming from.

How do you know the whole backstory of Grandma and Grandson?

How do you know the whole backstory of Grandma and Grandson?

I honestly don't care if i am pissing you off.

I wouldnt hit a child who was in my care. EVER. FULLSTOP!

I am also not defending the child as clearly he needs help. The receiving (or not) of a birthday present here is the least of the issue. Fighting with Grandma can't be brushed under the carpet.

https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/courts/2022/07/26/boy-who-pushed-bike-at-girl-causing-her-to-fall-off-dart-platform-to-avoid-detention/

A mother here in Ireland threatened to sue after her son's deliberate actions caused a young woman to fall under a train. She wanted to sue because her sons identity was released on social media. Imagine your son could have killed someone and that's what concerns you the most. He got off with it by the way. Dealt with by way of community sanctions.

the judge said he did not believe the boy intended for it to happen. “It was prankish behaviour, irresponsible behaviour,” said the judge. “But it is highly unlikely he anticipated what occurred.”

That is awful that happened to you - i'm so sorry to hear that. But, i wasn't responding to your case of abuse and being attacked by two 15 year olds and ending up in your misscarriage (which is awful).

I am responding to the OP who was punched by her Grandson who was 14 as he couldnt gameplay, she slapped him back and now is wondering whether to buy him a present for his birthday!

@Bellaboo01

Fighting with Grandma can't be brushed under the carpet.
Here you go again... "fighting with" is a phrase that implies they are equally aggressors.

He didn't have a fight with her.

He attacked her and she responded with self defence.

He punched a woman in the stomach and as a reflex, due to her fight or flight instinct, without malice or anger etc, she defended herself by slapping her assailant.

That is not a fight.

It is not meeting violence with violence.

Interested as mentioned to know at what point n an attack it is acceptable for the victim to defend themselves using violence. One punch isn't enough in your opinion. Two punches? Three? When blood is drawn?

Two of our parents tried to have one of my colleagues charged with assault.

Colleague was unusually short. 15 yr old punched him. Colleague stretched out a hand to block the second punch.

In Scotland, children under 16 are seen by the Children’s Panel normally, not court.

My colleague was suspended, even though police said he hasd no case to answer.

The parents phoned a tabloid and he was doorstepped. Pic of him at his door all over the front page of a Sunday Paper.

Eventually allowed back to work but quit at the end of the academic year.

When the boy turned 16, police arrested him for taking cars without consent.

Fighting with?

He assaulted her.

The 15 yr old who punched me in the stomach at work precipitated a miscarriage. I was trying to keep away from him and trying to protect my stomach.

An idiot from SACRO tried to persuade me to have a restorative meeting with the thug.

it’s just dawned on me that the other three victims - a teen male and two men - were not asked to meet.

Youth workers obviously think that women are mugs.

Your responses suggest that your mindset is the same.

@WearyAuldWumman

Just wanted to say I'm really sorry that some posters, one in particular, must be triggering awful memories. You did nothing wrong. You were a victim of male violence, no matter the age of the perpetrator. I'm so sorry for what you went through.

Soooo many questions But, i will try to answer to what i believe.

• None of us kids/family members/Our kids/siblings etc etc has ever hit or attacked a Grandparent.
• If i hit one of our parents or my children hit one of their Grandparents then there would be something very concerning occurring and it would be addressed. I'm not sure what as i would never have done it.
• My Dad was a boxer and i can guarantee you that he would never have laid a finger on any of us.
• FYI -- The law actually doesn't allow you to 'reserve the right to hit back harder'!
• I can assure you that in no way am i an enabler of male (or female) violence...quite the opposite.

@Bellaboo01

Keen to know your answer to mine and previous posters question - when could the grandma in question have used physical force to respond to being punched in the stomach by her teenage grandson? He punched her once and you say her reflexive slap was meeting violence with violence.

If he had punched her three times and she slapped him trying to get him to stop, would that have been acceptable? Or still meeting violence with violence?

What about if the grandfather had walked in on his wife being punched in the stomach, would it be unacceptable for him to use physical force to try to stop the grandson attacking his grandma?

A visceral, self defensive reflex to being attacked is not the same as an attack.

So I'm interested in your thoughts on the above.

If her grandson hadn't stopped, even if she got to her phone to call the police, at what point would it be acceptable for her to have attempted to fight back in order to get safe?

@Bellaboo01

Here we go again 🙄 with you and the rest of the other like minded male violence apologists excuser's for this type of thing

Is it a wonder violent teenage males and violent toxic abusive child men don't respect women and girls,

When we have individuals like yourself mimising and justifying and excusing a grandson punching his grandmother in the stomach ????

why is your brain power extremly limited in capacity to work effectively?

We have another male violence apologist on here again = male violence down player excuser for it enabler
Never mind @LadySmurf teenage grandson who could have the physique strength of young man and even if he has not,

You still insist on being judgemental about @LadySmurf action,
It's natural to want to protect yourself and also knee jerk reaction too,

Even the law of UK you are allowed to defend yourself protect oneself physically,

and by age 10 years you are consirdered to be aware enough in UK Law to know the difference between right and wrong,

Unless you are perceived to be mentally deficient faculties,
Which there is no evidence whatever on this mumsnet thread at all..

How would you have reacted if someone or a teenage male member of family punched your grandmother?

I suspose you would appease him give him placating peace offering 🫴 in some way and carry on with happy families charade ect

I honestly don't care if i am pissing you off.

I wouldnt hit a child who was in my care. EVER. FULLSTOP!

I am also not defending the child as clearly he needs help. The receiving (or not) of a birthday present here is the least of the issue. Fighting with Grandma can't be brushed under the carpet.