Fall out with Grandson

No way would I be pursuing any kind of relationship with him let alone apologising! Disgusting behaviour from him.

You are worth more OP.

He must learn immediately from this to NEVER punch anyone, let alone a woman.

Leave him to stew until he grows up enough to apologise and take responsibility. Yes, that might take years especially if the parents are enabling him by minimising his violence.

(I've also had 20+ years of working with troubled teens- and a parent to 3 young adults)

A 14 year old punched his grandmother in the stomach and his parents have done nothing about it. How absolutely repulsive. No he doesn't get a thing for his birthday or christmas or anything until he properly apologises and sorts himself out. That's not a normal teenage moodiness. They're raising a violent thug.

She has raised her own children and you're telling her to read parenting books?
Seriously??
He punched her in the stomach, his own grandmother and you think she should write to him begging his forgiveness?
Seriously??
No wonder some men grow up to.think it's ok to assault women!

Have you talked with the parents about why he's a handful? Has he always been this way or just since becoming a teen? Is he like this with them?

Do you know why he was stroppy that particular morning? Something was going on that needs to be understood as this appears to be the trigger for him lashing out.

No-one has mentioned the 8YO's part in provoking his older brother by mentioning the Xbox. That, along with whatever it was that was upsetting him would have been sufficient to push some kids over the edge.

The parents should be taking the lead in resolving this. Read up about conflict resolution for teens and get them to do the same. His birthday being soon is a good reason to do this now. Try and sort it out before the day so the air can be cleared and hopefully the giving of a gift won't be such an issue.

I'm so sorry he punched you, it's such a shock when this first happens. Did you only apologise to him when his parents came? He's a hormonal teen, you're an adult and should have known better so an immediate apology was required.

I hope you can sort it all out. I'd say no gift until this is resolved but you must be proactive in getting it resolved.

And what discussion have you had with his parents for him punching you? And what was their response?

Wtf? He PUNCHED his grandmother in the stomach after shouting and swearing at her

Calmly step away? No. This a parenting issue - they are not managing his behaviour. Would you be happy if one of your children punched YOUR parent in the stomach?

It's attitudes such as the one you espouse that are building up trouble for society. If physical assault of family members is acceptable as long as you have an understanding chat with the puncher after the event, then what the fuck do you think is acdeptable bahaviour towards a stranger?

Yes, quite right, she should have given him a hug and taken him out for a McDonalds after he punched her in the stomach. One should be endlessly supportive in the face of male violence

@LadySmurf

Do you have a good relationship with your child, his parent?

It feels like you need to understand what is going on in the family, there must be some big issues.

A 14 year old punched her in the stomach! She shouldn't have slapped him but he shouted, swore, and punched her in the stomach. He is easily old enough that in a different context eg punching a girl in the street, a teacher at school, an elderly woman in a shop he might be having a chat with the police.

That was to @Cicciabella Btw

I wouldn't be even considering a card or gift for a 14 year old who had done this. And bloody shame on his parents who are not managing this. My DD would be devastated and furious with GS if he did this to me. Hitting him back sounds like a on the spur of the moment reaction and certainly forgivable. he needs to be told what could happen to him if he did that to another tennage boy. Nasty little coward

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!
The parents need to take responsibility for their son. If my son or daughter did that to their Nan, I can't even imagine what sort of punishment they would get (not physical). I have been kicked in the stomach by my daughter before it hurts mentally and physically. And it's hard not to react. OP, I hope you are ok

It sounds like his parents may have decided that he's too difficult for you to handle right now.

Personally I would have got him to apologise but his parents might be fighting bigger battles.

Does he have a history of difficult behaviour? Any diagnoses that might help explain?

Get him a present. He shouldn't have punched you but until you have time to find out what is going on and make a more considered decision don't change from what your would normally do,

I wouldn't be able to just brush this off. He's 14 not a toddler, most 14 year old boys are taller than me.

Are his parents getting him any professional help for his outbursts?

I don't agree with minimising what happened - a 14yo punching someone is very serious.

It's important to look into why this young person is behaving so very badly and help him change it.

No sorry. She was assaulted & reacted. This is a ridiculous post intended to shame OP. Shame on you!!

OP- you’ve apologised, you’ve explained. You were punched in the stomach. This teenager needs to learn it’s NEVER ok to hit someone especially a woman. Do not feel bad, do not apologise any further. Id send a card for his birthday as you love him & he’s your grandson but his parents should be making him apologise too.

Ps no present or card ino - the parents need to make their aggressive violent brat apologise

At 14 the grandson is likely as big or bigger than the OP. I find it staggering that there is a poster trolling here. Shameful. If a young man is not taken to task for punching a woman in the stomach Wtaf is the world coming to. @LadySmurf you reacted defensively in that moment and it was reasonable. No gift. You urgently need to speak with his parents, ask them if they condone violence against women, one day it’ll be this young man’s partner or some dude in a bar who’ll potentially seriously injure him punching him back. Sure he has issues, but coddling him won’t help.
editing to add: I am sorry you went through this, it’s so horrible, especially the fallout after.

What have been the consequences for him assaulting an older woman?
He sounds like a thug.
What are his parents doing?
You reacted to a shocking assault.
Only on MN would that be criticised.
I have NEVER heard of a grandmother being assaulted by a teen grandchild.
He should be reported to the police.
He's completely out of control.

@Cicciabella what! An unprovoked punched from a 14 year old would be very frightening and the slap is self defense. If it had been a stranger police would be involved. I cannot believe you're saying the OP could now be responsible for damaging the 14yo. You might be right he is being neglected but it's not by the OP. You need to get perspective

No gift. He assaulted you. This is very serious. I wonder what goes on at home that he's behaving like this? Does he just do what he likes?

It was a reaction. If any of my kids punched me my reaction would probably be to punch them back. What a vile boy. The parents should have punished him and taken away his x box permanently.
No I wouldn’t get him a birthday present and I wouldn’t have anything to do with him again until he apologised. You don’t go round hitting people especially not your nan!

A defensive slap when you have been punched - the op.was not unreasonable imo

Honestly once you get to the stage of punching your gran and not immediately begging for forgiveness then you are pretty far gone tbh. Whichever one of his parents is your kid should have got an earful from you for this. It’s not on you to make amends.

I’m actually disgusted by this.