Fall out with Grandson

@AlfrescoPotato I completely agree.

Punching his nan in the stomach for christs sake. And he seems to have got away with it Scott free???!!

Also, this.

We’re not a violent family at all but had the eldest boy done that (similar age) he’d have been bricking it for us collecting him as his dad would have dragged him out of Granny’s house. I, for one, would have been bounced off every bloody wall in the house.
I think the problem here is no fear of consequence and feeling like he can bully an older woman.

Jesus Christ, I've read some things on here over the years but a 14 year old lad punching his nan in the stomach? Absolutely fucking disgusting. I wouldn't be giving him any present.

What have his parents, especially your child, said about it?

you must know how big a 14yo boy is. To have punched his grandma in the stomach is seriously scary. A reactive slap is very understandable and I’m not sure even needed an apology. This boy has serious issues and it seems like terrible parenting. I don’t know what you should do, before he lands in jail. What does the parent who is your child say? Have the 8 year old over again and tactfully ask about the home environment.

I'm appalled that this happened to you OP, your reaction to being punched in the stomach was exactly what most people would have done! The ones sanctimoniously harping on about you being "violent" in return, are probably the ones who think their children can do no wrong and have never actually been in the position you were in!

I would refuse to visit their house and the 14 year old and his parents wouldn't be welcomed into my home either. Keep contact with the 8 year old, they probably need the break from home.
And certainly no gift or card! That would just show he could get away with murder... Which, if his parents don't deal with him sharply now, he probably will in the future!

I would imagine those defending the grandson would be the mothers of sons who smack their wives about, then blame the wives.
After all, he wouldn't have punched his wife if she hadn't have provoked him by burning the gravy or something!

Id disown the nasty little shit.

Also don't apologise at ALL for slapping him.

He bloody well deserved it.

Oh my god, what an absolute load of bullshit this is!

You beat me to it with those questions!

Baffled by the idiots defending the teenager. OP did nothing wrong - the violence came from the teen.

I'd have been tempted to call the police.

Talk to his parents about how they are addressing this awful behaviour before he does it elsewhere and gets arrested.

I'm stunned that he felt it was ok to disrespect his granny by swearing in her house let alone punch her in the stomach!!!
I'm so sorry I'm sure you were devastated. I don't think you did anything wrong.

I'd be seriously questioning his parents though. Why have they allowed him to stay away for a month?

☝️this

What a crap situation.

Whilst I accept in this day and age it isn't acceptable to react to violence with violence, it is actually part of our deeply ingrained survival technique. So a reactive slap is something that happens without thinking.

OP reacted without thinking to what was a violent assault.

I am not sure what I would do going forward. I might consider sending him a birthday card with a message along the lines of "Its very sad that our time together ended the way it did. I love you very much, and always will, and I hope you have a good birthday. When you have time to reflect, I will be very happy to sit down and talk about what you did to me as well as my immediate reaction. But, little shit of a grandson, you need to understand that your behaviour towards me is not acceptable and I hope you realise that and never do anything like this again to anyone".

At this point I wouldn't be sending a gift. He probably won't open the card anyway and if he is still sulking you can't guarantee he won't just bin the gift. So I would save my money.

Absolutely - I would most definitely retaliated and he would not be welcome in my house again.

I'd be interested in those answers too.

So if someone punched you - you would do nothing? This is ridiculous. This boy needs sanctions fast to stop him hitting women. The op should not be the one to apologise.

@Cicciabella my 14yr old is over 6ft tall and exercises a lot! He would seriously hurt me if he punched me in the stomach. A reactive slap is nothing. This family has some serious issues to deal with-and it’s not the OP who needs to sort that. No 14yr old should be punching anyone.

I’ve never smacked my kids but honest to god if they punched my granny they would be getting a flat out punch from me.

The fact that his parents haven't sent him grovelling back with an apology is an absolute disgrace. They just can’t be arsed dealing with the fuck yo they have obviously created

His parents should donate all his birthday money to violence against women charities.

My family would be absolutely raging if this happened 🫨

@ByPeachSeal

She didn’t need to defend herself. It wasn’t a sustained attack, it was one punch.

How could she know he wouldn't continue?

How on earth could she know that?

If a 14 year old boy had lost control enough to punch me in the stomach, I would be so shocked and scared that I would have no idea whether he was going to continue attacking me or not.

Genuine questions - if a man punched his wife in the stomach (once) and as a reflex she slapped him, would you say she was wrong to as it wasn't a 'sustained attack'?

What about if OP's grandson was 18 or 19 and punched her in the stomach (once) and as a reflex she slapped him, would you say she was wrong to as it wasn't a 'sustained attack'?

What about if he was still 14 and punched his 14 year old girlfriend in the stomach (once) and and as a reflex she slapped him, would you say she was wrong to as it wasn't a 'sustained attack'?

Interested to know your answers to these questions.

She was punched in the stomach! Her reaction was almost certainly instinctual. Please do not guilt trip her. Why are there always people on mumsnet that have these impossibly high expectations of mother/ grandmother hood? At 14, yes he is still growing and is probably full of angry hormones, but he is in the wrong. I doubt that she will trigger self harm. Stop projecting.

I'm sorry, but this really is bollocks. 😬

Talking about modelling- perhaps it's useful for him to learn that women will hit back 🙁.

Absolutely this. The Grandmother is looked up to, and given the respect that an elder should be given. There is no talking back, or cheek. To physically hit a Grandparent is not in my sphere of possibilities. And yet it would seem that the parents have done nothing.

Your 14 year old grandson swore at you and punched you in the stomach and neither him or his parents have apologised to you?
Why on earth are you still visiting their house?!
As he hasn't apologised and he's said he hates you, he'd be lucky to get a card from me for his birthday. I wonder if he'd swear and punch a 6ft grandfather? Doubt it!