Fall out with Grandson

Good God, if I were his parents, I'd have leathered him.

You can't just have your children put in care. It doesn't work like that.

No apology = no present

and you never ever agree to look after him again in the future

It all sounds a bit unlikely to me, especially the bit about the grandmother apologising to the 14 year old. That just isn’t plausible, not even in this crazy looking glass world we’re all currently trapped in.

If it is true, it’s one of the worst things I have read on here. Imagine anyone punching their grandmother. That’s not a teenager, it’s a monster. I would disown any of my kids for doing that. No question - I’d have them put in care. There’s a limit to what anyone could put up with and that would be it for me.

He is 14

do his parents realise ' Children between 10 and 17 can be arrested and taken to court if they commit a crime.' that was from Google.

There is clearly a serious issue for a 14 year old boy to react like this. I've never heard of any situation like this before. I think you need to advocate for him. Which parent is your child? I think you need a serious talk with them to find out what is going on.

Are they struggling with him? Has something happened? If they are struggling then see what help you can provide (with advice, or maybe paying for counselling etc if they can't afford it). If they are not struggling and are just bad parents then GS will need you more than ever.

In that case I'd maybe write him a letter explaining that what he did was outrageous, completely unacceptable and potentially criminal, but that you love him and will help him when he's ready to come to you for help (and it better be with an apology to you also!). Best of luck OP. Main thing is you don't deserve violence from your own family, so I'd avoid him in person until he apologises. Keep yourself safe!

potentially he reacted (very inappropriately) to a statement by the 8yr old.

But if that was the case surely he would have reacted towards the 8yo sibling. What made him be able to control himself not to punch his younger sibling, but turn and punch his grandma?

You don’t seem to understand. She didn’t need to defend herself. She reacted because she was angry, not because she needed to defend herself.

Far more likely to be a 'flight, fright, fight' immediate and automatic reaction to being hurt in such a shocking way from someone you love.

That punch will have shocked the OP to her core.

I suspect she didn't have time to think about her anger. I suspect it was just a reaction, with no prior thought, to being so shocked and probably quite frightened at the time.

And she has apologised for her reaction.

No apologies from the one who punched his grandma unprovoked (by her) leaving her hurt and upset.

If your child hit me I would call the police.

This exact same thing happened to me at primary school! I regularly got punched by the school bully (as did all the girls), but when he came charging at me one time and I stuck my foot out and he went flying and split his lip all over the playground, it was me who got into trouble! No wonder there are so many abusive men out there. Women are always held to higher account than men.

No present will make things worse, perhaps irreparable. I'd get a very small token and let his parents know that you'll forgive and move on, and get him a usual size Christmas present if he's apologised before then.

You think she should calmly have stepped away after she was being punched in the stomach?

Find your grip somewhere because you seem to have lost it.

absolutely flabbergasted at this response 😡

To posters saying it was only one punch, need to google one punch. It seems his response was a 0-10 in seconds so there was little time or warning to think over a calm reaction. I cannot believe those who are shaming a loving grandmother because she made an instinctive response to being assaulted by someone she trusted and believed loved her. Trolling of the worst kind by self righteous bullies.

Op, forgive yourself here. The parents have handled this very badly and treated you as though you have little worth. I am very sorry for you because you have made an immediate apology and must feel very shocked. What on earth is this apologising tomorrow nonsense....

Don't get him a present, it's telling him that there are no punishments for what he did and that it was okay, all forgotten. I hope you are okay.

FWIW, my grandsons were fighting in my garden and I went to intervene. It was pretty nasty and my gs3 kicked me. I knew it was not a caught in the crossfire kick, it was aimed intentionally at me. His step dad intervened immediately and went mad with him. It was left for us two to separate them. He was marched in to apologise immediately. I forgave but cannot forget..

Some of the people here talks about a 14 years old lad as if they were talking of a toddler. Of course he knows punching is bad, of course he knows he has to show respect for his adults.
OP did no good smacking his face, that is also a true but I will have a serious conversation with him for sure.

What a stupid post. A male, teenager, not a small child, punched his grandmother in the stomach. Her reaction was completely understandable in those circumstances. She is the one who needs the apology.

I wouldn’t be buying a gift OP! Hope his parents are dealing with his disgraceful behaviour.

Get a grip! Sounds like your kids are insufferable whose violent actions would be excused for being "teens with scary feelings"

Fuck off!

OH BEHAVE!

It's YOU that needs to brush up on your parenting skills, if you think that a 14 year old can punch his Gran in the stomach, and that her reaction to that should be to quietly and passively step away and inflict no punishment. Honestly, I've read some namby pamby stuff on here, but this takes the absolute biscuit. You advocate teaching him that he can assault people, and that that's okay. You're telling him that it's okay to assault women. What a great husband he will make. Great lesson, well done. 🙄

He sounds like a little shit, and no I would not be buying him a gift. You would be insane to do so.

It's up to you how much bad behaviour you are prepared to condone for the sake of an ongoing relationship. Personally I'd say no gift, no more babysitting for the parents who clearly don't care about you, and it's not too late to report the little shit to the police.

He punched his grandma, after swearing at her!

I'd say that there is no way she is going to be the reason for a downward spiral of behaviour. It had already begun.

I can't imagine any situation where any child I know would punch and swear at their grandma! It simply isn't normal behaviour for a 14y.

Yes, grandma shouldn't have hit him. It sounds like it was a reaction to being hurt, possibly quite painfully, and she has apologised for her part.

Yet, he hasn't apologised and he has made no effort to address his behaviour, it seems.

The op is not to blame for his bad behaviour and shouldn't be made to feel like she is.

He shouted at, swore at and punched his grandmother in the stomach. He sounds awful.

He will hit other women- probably already has. He needs mental help.

A 14 year old punches his nan and people are whinging about the 14 year old getting slapped back!

I can't even imagine raising my voice to my nan as a teenager, never mind punching her. She wouldn't have had to hit me back... I'd have had to run away before the rest of my family could catch me. With my octogenarian doddery grandad in the lead.

@LadySmurf DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSON'S ADVICE!
You have been punched by a young adult, not a child who doesn't know better.
He doesn't deserve a gift, in fact he'd lucky you didn't report him.
Male on female violence is vile.

@Thomasina79

Exactly 💯 this,

@Cicciabella Today abusive teenager

Tommorow in years to come an abusive partner and father to his children and the dysfunctional domestic abuse cycle continues in our society, !!!