Fall out with Grandson

He punched you in the stomach - ffs what has he done to try and put this right and what about his parents. If someone punched me in the stomach I doubt id stand by and not retaliate, it could well be he hasn't had a retaliation before

Yes, the thought of my brother punching my grandmother is unthinkable. I knew quite a few kids from tough backgrounds as a kid, but I can’t imagine even them punching their Nan! He sounds like vile, spoiled little brat.

Fucking hell. I wouldn't have apologised to him first, nor would he be getting anything other than a card from me for his birthday.

The reason he hasn't said sorry is because he doesn't think he has done anything wrong. Fuck that.

This isn’t a fall out. The horrid little shit assaulted you. Hope he feels good about himself, punching a much older woman in the gut.
Sorry, I lost my own gran last year and would personally have ripped apart anyone who did this to her with my bare hands (and I have never laid a hand on anyone).

He punched you, his gran. He's a vile boy and no wonder you hit him back. Id of done the same it's a reaction from being hit. To the poster who thinks your bad for hitting back I bet my bottom dollar she would of hit back too.

a reflexive slap to someone who punched you isn't unthinkable. I know i probably would too. Unless that person was tiny. Or really much much bigger than me.

Actions have consequences. the 8yo piping op about consequences for misbehaving was being an 8yo so, meh, but understandable.

In the parents shoes, i would have asked him to apologise to you at the time you apologised, for punching you. And i would be investigating with him and you, separately about what had gone on leading up to that.

The fact that they have done nothing in a month reflects badly on them. There would be a card from me for the birthday, reiterating that i was sorry for the slap which was a reflex to being punched. And that when he felt he could come and apologise in person he could collect his gift.

I'm guessing S at the end of this post means sarcasm! 😁

And you have no reason to reproach yourself for slapping him. You were defending yourself , he could well have followed through with another punch or a kick.
You should definitely not apologise to him— that will only make him think he can do what he likes, he can make himself the victim.
I hope you’re ok. If either of my dc or any dgc behaved like this they’d have felt the full force of the law.

He would be getting jack shit from me. At 14 he is old enough to know you never punch your grandmother in the stomach. You had done nothing wrong.
This child will grow up to stab or shoot someone and beat women. You mark my words.
I dont give gifts to people who punch me, refuse to say sorry and then tell me that they hate me.
His parents should be ashamed of themselves.

Agreed. His parents should be coming down on him like a ton of bricks.

He was completely and shockingly out of order. Your response was instinctive as you came under attack. His parents should be going absolutely ballistic at him. He has crossed a line and he needs to know it. So sorry this happened to you.

Is this real?

A measure perhaps of how addicted he is to tech.

Punching is assault.

I wouldn’t have slapped him, I’d have called the police and insisted he was arrested for assault. He needs a harsh wake up call with behaviour like that.

they were punched in the stomach by a 14 year old. Have you lost your mind?!

Cicciabella

Are you crazy?
A 14 year old boy punching his Granny, and you blame her reaction? And that's after treating her to shouting and swearing. Poor little poppet - not.
Many 14 year olds have the size and strength of a full grown man.
Just when you think you have heard it all... With people like you around no wonder we have youths like this.

Honestly, OP… I don’t see that you did anything wrong here. I am
generally against hitting, however, he attacked you. He’s a young man and should know better. What kind of ratchet BS is that? Hitting an older woman? He needs to be enrolled in anger management ASAP. Despicable.

Sorry but he sounds awful. He’s 14, not 4 and knows that punching his grandparent in the stomach is wrong. Disgusting behaviour.

I can’t believe what I just read!

She was punched in the stomach by a 14 year old lad and reacted, in no way is she at fault.
Op I would have called the police to give him a talking to, that is assault and terrible behaviour. I hope he doesn't treat any other women that way in the future.

Yes you shouldn't have slapped him but in this situation it sounds totally called for.. A shame his parents are clearly allowing his behaviour.

If he do that to his own grandma, what else would he do to other people?

I don't think an apology will make this right. What would you do if this was your 14 year old? Just make him apologise?

Sounds like he needed and deserved that slap.

It's a lot for her to process. I'd imagine she thought she'd be told 'of course get him a present, why wouldn't you' and instead we've all pointed out her grandson assaulted her, her child (the boy's mother? / father?) has gaslit her into her slap being more important than his punch - her head may be reeling.

It's all a bit DARVO, isn't it? Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. There's a definite Denial on the parts of both the parents and their son, a sweeping-under-the-carpet. Attack is non-physical so I didn't quite see it at first - him ignoring her and telling his brother (in front of OP, else how would she know?) he hates her; both of which are intended to hurt OP's feelings. And even the OP is behaving as if her grandson is her Victim when he is in reality the Offender!

She may not come back, she may. Either way, I hope it has reframed this incident for her in her own mind, and she is now able to see it for what it is - a physical attack handled badly by the parents to the detriment of both grandmother and grandson.

There are some very damaging messages that young men are now absorbing about women's value, that their only value is their looks/fuckability so an older relative like a grandmother would have zero value and can be used as a punchbag.

@Scintella

actually I don’t think a relationship wherein OP is getting punched will be all that important to Op.

You do not reward violence! A 14-year-old who punches his grandmother needs psychiatric help.