Fall out with Grandson

The best thing to do now, is maybe have that chat but stay calm and be accepting that he needs a sense of safety and security.

And the best thing the OP has done is to have had that chat calmly and has made them accept that she needs a sense of safety and security in her own fucking home.

Do you offer this same advice to women when they’re hit by their adult partner who still hasn’t learnt to ‘regulate his high emotions’? If not, at what age does it change? 16? 18? Over 25? How long do males get a free pass to hit women for?
This is exactly right.
I say they are challenged from the first hit even if that is two years old. You can't expect someone who has been allowed to do things to suddenly act as a switch has been flicked and not do something any more.

Do you offer this same advice to women when they’re hit by their adult partner who still hasn’t learnt to ‘regulate his high emotions’? If not, at what age does it change? 16? 18? Over 25? How long do males get a free pass to hit women for?

Well done, OP!

But her precious doesn’t deserve to be hit back, he has a sweet good beer and means nothing bad.

@ByPeachSeal the fact your teenage son thinks it’s ok to hit an elderly woman like his grandmother means you have already failed him so your priority is not keeping him away from people who will hit him back lol. Your priority is teaching him not to hit ANYONE not making sure you keep him away from people who will hit him back. By your logic all is good if he is hitting people who don’t hit back right?

I think you've acted brilliantly, well done. I hope the young man learns from this and starts to behave

He sounds like a rude, disrespectful little shit with crappy parents who haven't taught him how to behave. I would be furious if either of my children had spoken to or treated my Mum like that.

I think parents can get so bogged down in trying to understand their own children's big feelings that they lose sight of the fact that other people won't be tolerating the bad behaviour. Hopefully this was a bit of a wake up call for them.

Well bloody done op!

I'm glad you didn't go round with gift and apologies and begging to that vile, vile child. So disgusting that he punched his grandmother! And even worse that his parents have not rectified this too.

Well done OP, proud of you! You put your foot down and said you weren't having it, good for you!

Your response was perfect, @LadySmurf.

Well then teach your child not to hit people or one day he WILL get hit back by someone bigger and stronger than he is, and mummy won’t be there to defend him

No wonder male violence is such a big problem in this world 🙄

You've handled this bravely and beautifully, and done your grandson a long-term favour, as well as any women that will be in his life in future.

Thank you for the update LadySmurf. Very well done. Sending hugs.

Well done, you've handled the situation really well and good for you for not tolerating violent behaviour from a 14 year old as if its acceptable or nothing can be done.

I hope his parents take on board what you have said and address the issue properly before the consequences of their sons violent behaviour start to impact his opportunities in life.

Excellent update. What you said was spot on by the sounds of it. They need to sort themselves out and so does your grandson

Well done. You've done him a huge favour.

Well done OP.
Hours of two violent games?
Fortnite wound my son up so much that it was once a week game on a Saturday with his lovely friends. One weekend his sweet friend had a total screaming fit at his parents over it being turned off and the game was instantly deleted by them, never to return.
On hearing this I too was done, as were other parents (8 of them friends for 10 years) and the game vanished overnight.
It has since been recognised as a game that gives a massive dopamine hit and induced a drug like state. Suggest his parents do research.
He is very young to be having so much time on such games.
Well done for handling this so well.

It sounds like the parents were going to ignore it and move on just to paper over the cracks. I think you did the right thing not to give a present and also to set your boundaries clearly.

All I would say is that I would not trust him. You say you want to speak to him on his own but I would be on your guard.

Also be prepared for the parents to still play it down and not deal with it in the way you would really want. You dealt with it well though and I am glad you came back to the thread!

Glad you came back OP. Well done, you've handled it really well with his parents. Hopefully they'll take on board what you've said. Good luck.

Adding to the voices of "well done", Op

One of my friends kids learnt very early on that tantrums got them what they wanted, problem is tantrums at 14 are huge and the willpower now means they keep going till they get tech back!! I’m scared for this current generation

You are absolutely right.

I worked with a family years ago and the four year old kept demanding his own way when I as talking to mum. Eventually I said ' I'm just talking to mummy' mum got up and gave into his demands. As she walked into the kitchen he smirked at me and said ' bitch'.I know he didn't understand what it means and it was learned behaviour but it went unchallenged by mum.
The child is now 15 and he is under one of our teams in children's services. It is fair to say things aren't going well for him and mum has been beaten up on several occasions .

I really am a big believer in nipping things in the bud at a very young age in age appripate way. What is cute at 3 is not cute, funny or acceptable at 14 but it's often too late to put in measures, especially for female single parents against teen boys.
The best behaved teens I know had strong boundaries from the start. You don't need to be Supenanny to understand that.

One of my friends kids learnt very early on that tantrums got them what they wanted, problem is tantrums at 14 are huge and the willpower now means they keep going till they get tech back!! I’m scared for this current generation

I hope he gets the help needed. Sadly there isn’t much out there and there’s huge waiting lists for the things that are available.
Parents probably need to enquire at both school and doctors. Good luck.
Sadly I think tech has taken over, it really isn’t good for our kids social skills to be in front of a tv screen all day, especially if it’s gaming, it over stimulates the brain.

Well done for this @LadySmurf It needed to be addressed and you have done that perfectly! Good luck going forward 🌹