Fall out with Grandson

Btw I also know of several cases where women were battered black and blue by teen brothers when they were growing up, and the parents were too feeble to put a stop to it. I think I've even seen posts about it on here.
Female blood relatives are apparently acceptable collatoral for not having to tell boys no.
One of the women I know no longer gets physically hit by her brother, but he regularly calls her a whore and says he hopes she's found dead in a ditch.
He's an utter shit and she's got awful self-esteem issues. Great parenting.

This is not a recent thing. Some 60 years ago there were sheep kept in an enclosure in Battersea Park. Teenage boys broke into a store where sporting euipment was stored, stole javelins and stabbed several of the sheep to death. Vets will tell you that its never been a rare thing for animals to be shot with air guns, injured with fireworks and so on. You can't blame it on "modern" society or "modern" parenting.

If my 14 year old attacked my mother and then said he hated her, he'd be nowhere near her again except maybe under strict supervision. I wouldn't be looking to my mother to sort out MY child either.

I just remembered actually getting slapped by my mum when I was 14 (she wasn't a violent person). We were having an argument and I was in the bathroom and I think I used the word "fucking". The door burst open and she slapped me and said "don't ever swear at me again." (This was actually unfair because I wasn't actually swearing at her I was using it as an adjective). But we were both quite... shocked and the argument stopped. I don't think its correct parenting, and I don't think my mum was doing it strategically - it was an impulsive action when we were both angry. But it didn't scar me for life, or ruin my relationship with her. I can't imagine punching her in the stomach even as an angry teenager or what her reaction would have been...

In contrast - if he, as a 14 year old, punched another boy or a man in the stomach he quite likely WOULD receive a clout in return. And he would be considered the aggressor because he started it. That doesn't mean most people would support a grown man beating the shit out of a teenager. But 14 is more than old enough to understand if you hit someone they might hit you back. And that you don't hit your grandma.

Of course she does, she's the responsible adult in the situation and she lost control. It wasn't the appropriate way to deal with it.

I would not feel obliged to be in an-control, responsible adult if a thug punched me unprovoked in the stomach.

These violent teens grow up to know they can do whatever the fuck they want.

'Dealing with an adult partner is different from dealing with a 14 year old son/grandson.'

Not in the case of violence it isn't.
Plenty of women have been beaten by male teenage relations, I guarantee there are 14 year olds threatening their female relatives right now.
I won't respond to any more of your posts because an argument between us distracts from the seriousness of the thread.

Sorely needed on this thread.

God no definitely don't reward him with a birthfay present op.

I hope you are ok.

I really didn’t think there would come a day when grown women would come on a thread to tell an older woman who has been punched by a teenager, much less her own grandson that SHE is the aggressor. SHE is wrong. SHE should be saying sorry and buying presents and be pilloried for slapping the entitled and violent child who attacked her.

In any other scenario this would be seen as domestic abuse or assault. But because it’s a sent from heaven male child, it’s a poor little lamb who should be hugged and bought presents. The penis pandering is off the bloody scale when it comes to male children.

I have several teen nephews and they worship the ground their granny walks on. If one of them so much as spoke a harsh word to her, the others would sort them out before their parents got to them.

If I was your daughter @LadySmurf I would have very serious words with the parents of this specimen who has clearly still been allowed to think he’s the victim in this. You cannot be allowed to feel guilty in this. He gets nothing until he’s understood he’s done wrong.

It can be done but only if the adults around them are willing to actually show some backbone and discipline them properly (my sons a lot younger but if he had punched my mother I think the theoretical X-box he doesn't have would be going in the bin. Let alone being removed for a week Along with much stricter boundaries for other behaviour (swearing etc) because it would be clear things had gone to far.

Unconditional love does not equal no boundaries.

They all started somewhere...

How so? The punches hurt just the same.

Seconded.

Dealing with an adult partner is different from dealing with a 14 year old son/grandson.

I wonder how the parents have addressed this. I can't imagine my grandson hitting me but his parents would be appalled . I'm not sure OP is coming back but I would be interested to know what the parents have said to her since this happened.

'Prioritise relationship over behaviour'

I wonder how many women have done this and are now dead.

Yes, a bollocks button, please.

MNHQ, can we please have a Bollocks button alongside the Thanks?

No way in hell would I do that if I'd been punched by one of my GC

And he shouldn't be embarrassed

He should be ashamed

'She lost the moral high ground when she slapped him, I don't blame her, I can see it being instinctive. It's family and I would want to do everything I could to build bridges. If it was a random child on the street, I'd feel very different, or a godchild who you can remove from your life. Put more fuel on the fire, and it may take him a decade to be old enough and big enough to apologise. It can never not happen now, but I'd want to avoid it being a long-term wedge through the family'.

Bloody women hit back, didn't she. Didn't take it. Look what she's done now! She better put it right.
Bad enough that she's questioning herself, without some dick head pointing out how she can pacify her aggressor.

I haven't criticised the grandmother for the "slap round the chops" as some posters have. I have answered her question about whether I would still acknowledge his birthday despite what happened and whether I would wish to maintain a relationship with him. Understand doesn't mean excuse, it means to understand what the issues are and address them-which is really the parent's responsibility.

Hear, hear!!

You have to be joking right. He punched his grandmother in the stomach. I would have punched him back in the stomach.

However, regardless of what had happened before, if you ever hit my child you wouldn’t see them again.

If the brat you've chosen to breed badly thumped me, grandson or not, you wouldn't be hearing it from me, it would be coming from the police.

Idiots who support their violent brats come what may should be banned from breeding any more.

No she has not lost the moral high ground. If it were not so serious I would be laughing at the idea that there is a 'correct' response to being punched in the stomach. You yourself say it was instinctive and you don't blame her - so how can she have lost the moral high ground??

The last thing any of us needs is another male apologist for male violence against women.

Hopefully this will not end in permanent estrangement - but the GS will need to realise that his actions are beyond the pale and want to make amends to the OP, before the family can repair this. I hope this happens before the GS becomes an adult, when he will no longer be entitled to unconditional love from anyone even family.

Among some of the other confused posts is this: 'Love and hate are closely connected'. No they are not; they are entirely separate. They are like oil and water.