Fall out with Grandson

Reacting with violence when you are actually saying violence is not acceptable, is hypocritical and sending all the wrong messages.
I'm sorry you were punched, but a 14 year old who is hitting, clearly is experiencing some heightened emotions which he cannot regulate. The best thing would have been to tell him how hurt, and upset you are about what he did to you.

The best thing to do now, is maybe have that chat but stay calm and be accepting that he needs a sense of safety and security.

Hi OP,

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It sounds absolutely horrible, and must be very upsetting.

It sounds to me as though it may be a mixture of him being too embarrassed to apologise, and possibly him also telling himself it was your fault because you were generous enough to apologise.

You did nothing wrong - please try not to fret about it. FWIW I would not be buying him a birthday present, and I think his parents have really let you down.

Try not to worry about it. I know it's natural to regret reacting as you did, but it's equally as natural to have done what you did in the circumstances. A grandson punching his grandmother is just totally off the scale in terms of behaviour in my world, and in yours too from the sound of it. Again, it's just horrible.

Thinking of you

I think that’s exactly what the ‘good’ parents on here would do.

"Gentle hands darling".

@eggplant16 I'm so sorry. Home is the place you should feel safe growing up.

I don't think I would give him a card or present as he does not deserve one. Slapping him wasn't a great retaliation to him punching you but his behaviour was inexcusable. I think I would have been tempted to say you did not like him either when he said he hated you. Hard to see where you go from here but he obviously has serious issues and I would definitely be talking to his parents. Any further behaviour like that from him and I would be reporting him for assault, grandson or not.

Jesus Christ. If any of my DC’s grew up and punched their grandma in the stomach I would be absolutely horrified, what on earth are the parents doing to rectify this??? I’m so upset for you OP. Your grandson is a nasty piece of work.

It was my normal growing up
To be beaten and verbally abused day in , day out.
@eggplant16
I am so sorry that you have gone through this.
I'm sat alone in my car and I feel a mixture of rage and sadness for women like you, that have gone through this abuse.

I was thinking just now we never know if posts on here are genuine. What I can say is, as I mentioned in a previous post, this story is definitely not unique. There are many grandparents who are bringing up grandchildren for various reasons ( I know the op isnt).
It is more common in my experience to see teen males batter their nans than females. The girls tend to go missing from home. I don't know if this is a nationwide trend or something to do with the referrals I get.

I think you reacted badly to an awful situation by hitting your grandson back.

Lmfao.

Catch a grip.

He deserved a battering. He's a spoilt boy, getting a slap.

And now he has failed to apologise, as if you can fkg apologise for punching your granny in the stomach ....and failed to acknowledge her when she (wrongly) tried to be polite to him/acknowledge him.

He is a disgrace. His parents are failing to an incredible degree.

He should be reported for assault. His record should be accurate.... Because I'm sure there will be a record, a long one.

I know a guy who said that his mother,when he was cheeky to her, hit him hard in the face ....and he laughed while recalling it, saying it wasn't even an open handed slap like he would expect from a woman .... it was a punch. He had a good relationship with her, and it taught him some manners.
Can you imagine what that woman would do to this violent, out of control shit of a boy? He would learn that you don't punch people, including a woman, and an older woman - without getting something back.

I think that’s exactly what the ‘good’ parents on here would do.

I wonder what the correlation of parents like that and men children on other threads who scream and shout and bully their partners when they are expected to be grown ups is. Quite high I imagine.

I grew up in a violent household and abhor violence but I still think the granny was within her rights to slap the little shit. His parents should be the ones saying sorry not OP

Absolutely not. I wouldn't give him anything at all. Don't beat yourself up for slapping him either. He punched you in the stomach. I wouldn't look after him again either.

I genuinely think some people on here would react like that!

What would you have done?

Cuddled him?

@eggplant16 I'm sorry for you

It was my normal growing up. To be beaten and verbally abused day in , day out.

Violence cannot be minimised. The only gift I would consider is a ticket to watch the play Punch, as I heard recently on the radio a judge had done. https://www.thestage.co.uk/news/judge-references-james-grahams-punch-in-nottingham-sentencing
They also interviewed a lady from this charity https://onepunch.org.uk/about-us/#:~:text=One%20Punch%20envisions%20a%20nation,decision%20to%20engage%20in%20violence.
A single punch can kill, it is very serious

I think you reacted badly to an awful situation by hitting your grandson back.
How would you react if some one punched you in the stomach "oh, never mind sweet heart, anyway, what would you like for your birthday?''
More fool you!

I’m shocked too. Have these posters never had teenagers or know any teenage boys to appreciate how extreme this is?

I can't understand posters who want to tip toe and fucking apologise to the teen.
This is male violence against a woman and some people are saying 'aww he must have something going on" Of course he has but the minute a hit or punch is thrown then boundaries have been crossed.

We all ( should) know that domestic violence escalates and increases in frequency when unchallenged.
This is DV, this is male violence against a woman and no one seems to give a shit.

I would put my house on this kid not hitting a bloke twice the size of him. If he wouldn't do it then why does he think it's ok to do it to his nan. The boy knew exactly what he was doing.
There's been no meaningful consequences. The message us that he can do it again.

As a side note, this is not a unique case. I have dealt with something very similar in the last month ( work related I hasten to add!)

There are a lot of very worrying attitudes on this threat. It’s hard not to wonder if people are really that stupid or if more nefarious motives are at play.

A lot of people on Mumsnet appear to have a vested interest in seeing the complete collapse of British society.

HE ASSAULTED HER. Fucking hell this thread is insane! All these apologists for violent males.
Yes, I am wondering if some of them are just having a laugh, now - surely nobody can be this naive? Stupid? Ignorant?

.

HE ASSAULTED HER. Fucking hell this thread is insane! All these apologists for violent males.

ByPeachSeal · Today 07:51

'You don’t seem to understand. She didn’t need to defend herself. She reacted because she was angry, not because she needed to defend herself.'

'We don't seem to understand'. OK, got it everyone? We just don't understand, that's the problem here.
How the hell do you know that she did not need to defend herself. How do you know he was going to stop at shouting, swearing and 'just' one thump? Hmm?

I think you reacted badly to an awful situation by hitting your grandson back.

You are obviously deeply sorry and I think giving him a gift will help heal wounds, even if he doesn’t deserve it.

ultimately, it’s for his parents to manage this situation. It sounds like your grandson needs a lot of support for the issues he has.

Mike, Bob, Dave, Chris, John, Tony. My Bro's.
I love you. Mumsnet made me say it. .

For one thing slapping a child as a disciplinary measure is entirely legal.Punching a middle aged/elderly wo.an I definitely not.she reacted to shock him into stopping.
Jeez some of the answers on this thread are shocking !