Fall out with Grandson

@Frangipanyoul8r

i would absolutely shun family over this if i were OP! What can be more serious than being assaulted? What exactly would it take in your book to shun family?

Yanbu
He needs to apologise to you first.

Do not reward his disgusting behaviour by giving him a birthday present.

Your instinctive reaction to being punched was totally normal 💐

Some of the apologists on here terrify me.

Unconditional love doesn't mean forgetting what happened and not expecting severe consequences for such appalling behaviour.

Unconditional love includes teaching young people right from wrong, that it's important to accept responsibility for their actions, that remorse and forgiveness may be needed in some situations, that consequences of actions should be accepted,

Unconditional love should be two way ideally.

This cannot be forgotten, ignored, just left. This young man needs to know, and show he knows, that it is not acceptable to punch other people, let aline their grandma, in an unprovoked attack.

Male violence is a very real issue. Minimising it not an option.

I have a friend (an ex-teaching colleague) whose father was a police sergeant. He said that some of the worst acts of violence he had seen had been committed by 14/15 year old boys.

He retired from the police force in the 1970s.

I'm trying to imagine how I would have reacted if one of mine had punched MIL in the stomach at that age. It's unthinkable.

I'm so sorry OP, you must be gutted that this has happened. You have every reason to distance yourself from him for as long as you need to. I hope his parents are having some serious conversations about how to address his emotional problems and his anger.

Appalled by all the half wits on here saying she shouldn't have slapped him back. Any woman assaulted by a male is absofuckinglutely entitled to respond any way she can no matter how misunderstood the poor little shit is. Go grandma, next time wear some knuckledusters when you're looking after the toe rag. As many have already said, I doubt he'd punch a man in the gut - he's just learning early on who to bully.

And yet, during this 'very difficult stage of life', almost all teenagers can control their anger and frustrations enough not to punch people, let alone their own grandma,

No, she doesn't NEED to buy him a gift right now,

This 14y male has sworn at her, shouted at her, punched her, said he hates her .. there is no remorse, no apology, nothing.

I suffered extreme violence from my exh as in my left arm smashed against the wall until it snapped and several beatings to apparently teach me a lesson. One night If had enough and knew I had to get out there and then managed to grab dd from her cot and run for the car. It was only when I got to my Mum's place that I realised I should of got out a lot sooner.
So I'm finding some of the posts on this thread staggering and offensive. I don't want another woman to go through what I did so I think we need to stop apologising for male violence. If the OPs grandson will punch his own nana who else will fall victim to his fist.

Oh look... another huge and controversial thread where an OP has dropped a bomb and then not returned.

Never has a thread needed one more.
This thread has been a real eye opener.

No gift and no card. I'd refuse any interaction at all until a meaningful apology was made. He'll end up in prison if he isn't taught now that actions have consequences. Tough love is needed. He's probably been spoiled rotten.

I'd give him bugger all until he apologised for his disgraceful behaviour and I'd be telling his parents to take a long hard look at themselves too.

but a 14 year old who is hitting, clearly is experiencing some heightened emotions which he cannot regulate.

He'd regulate them if it was the school bully, I bet

He's big & bad enough to punch a woman,his grandmother - he's big & bad enough to see what happens when you assault people.

The fact people think OP is in the wrong (for reflexively reacting against a teenager who chose to punch her) is genuinely terrifying. I’d be not only not getting him anything for his birthday, but possibly shopping him to the police.

Are you on a wind up?

It was an assault. Not an "incident".

Again, like I asked a previous poster who never responded, I will ask you:

Have you ever been hit by a larger stronger male? Do you know that feeling of panic and terror when you don't know if this is the first hit of many that could lead to your severe injury or even death?

Her slap was a defensive, instinctive, reflex to stop someone stronger from continuing to PUNCH her in the GUTS.

Stop excusing, denying and playing down male violence.

Wow. Not only is he vile but he has shit parents as well, my son (15) wouldn’t see the light of day if he punched my Mum in the stomach, I would be telling you to absolutely not apologise for slapping him and he would be having some serious consequences.

No gift just a card.

ShadesofPoachedSmoke

Thing is, it's not just ridiculous, it's dangerous.
This kind of thinking is a free pass to any male who wants to test his muscle.
I have gone from being bewildered to angry to bloody scared that women can think this way.

This. He is disrespectful and sounds vile. It's never ok to punch people in the stomach let alone an older female. My DH would have taken his gaming machine and smashed it. He would not get another.

Maybe violent reactions are something that run through the family

Oh just get tae.

Ridiculous.

Even if it is, it's no wonder people like Andrew Tate exist. The posts on this thread have deeply shocked me and I am a parent of a very large teen. There isn't a single situation where I would find him punching his grandmother in the stomach as acceptable and needing to be apologised to and rewarded. I am just stunned at the amount of people making excuses for a violent male. It's beyond belief.

I’m genuinely bothered by the fucking lunatic apologists for male violence on this thread. Hang your heads.

I am frankly stunned at some of the things I've read here. Absolutely mind blowing.