Fall out with Grandson

Well done OP. You did well explaining your reasoning and how they need to improve their parenting skills to help their son.

Great response OP. I hope the parents step up.

In my opinion, @Bellaboo01 is opting out because she cannot answer the questions you have posed to her. She cannot explain why a completely reflexive response to a deliberate punch is as bad as the deliberate punch. She can't explain how @LadySmurf should have reacted to being punched in the stomach, nor how she was to know whether her grandson was going to stop at one punch.

I'm so glad you've dealt with it like that, OP. It sounds perfect to me 👌

Because it is animated it was viewed as harmless, but the highly competitive nature of the game was really not good.
No other game we have had in this house has been anything like this. They are all going on 21 and at university now, but were 14/15 at the time. My son subsequently admitted that it seemed to actually drive them all a bit mad. It was only a year or two afterwards we started to read all the negative stories about this particular game.

I'm glad to hear that, I hope you're all doing well now, it must have been an incredibly difficult time for you.

Thanks @LordPercyPercy
CAMHS eventually came good for us, and DC received the appropriate help and medication.

And fucking hell what blind bit of difference does it make who's bigger?
Is an adult man allowed to attack a taller woman without consequence?
The idiocy on this thread.

@BettyUnderswoob I'm really sorry you went through that, the attitude is horrifying.

Someone earlier reckoned that @Bellaboo01 and/or other teen violence apologists were probably social workers. This actually fits very well with my experience of SWs when I was experiencing violence at the hands of my autistic child, who was then 13.

We were the same height, and child was faster, stronger and 37 years younger than me. DH and I were assaulted and injured, the house and contents wrecked or damaged daily. Social Services couldn't have cared less and told us to call the police - who would only have referred us back to social services and CAMHS, whom DC was already being seen by. 🤔
They were more than happy for a woman (me) to suffer violence daily; didn't see it as an issue at all.

I obviously missed the post where it was stated that the child was stronger and larger than her.

Given that the "child" in question is 14 I'd say the odds are fairly good.

Maybe the parents could make some effort with their son, the final paragraph would be a good place to start and not only for this family. Too many youngsters are allowed too much time on their tech and that's for parents to address.

I obviously missed the post where it was stated that the child was stronger and larger than her.

Fuck me.

So it is ok for someone to hit a woman if they are the same size or littler. And women can only defend themselves if they are littler than their attacker. Got it.

She was in her own fucking home. She should have felt safe from anyone - let alone her apparently now tiny weak defenceless little hard done by grandson.

If the child has ishoos his grandma didn’t know about then his parents should be letting her know so she can make a judgement call about having him in her home.

At the end of the day, her grandson’s only fucking real issue is that he thinks it is ok to punch women in the stomach.

One hell of a bastard issue that.

Yeah @Bellaboo01 I would really like your answers to those questions too. But I see you've opted out. Shame the victims of male violence can't just "opt out" too.

Not so easy is it when it's real rather than in a textbook.

If you do deal with kids, , you'll know fine well that the average 14 year old lad these days is going to be bigger than a woman in her 50/60s or older. But hey, grasp at any straw you like to keep holding on to your indefensible attitudes.

You make me sick.

@Bellaboo01

Ah what a shame you've just said you won't be back further, before you had a chance to answer the questions I asked you previously.

Here they are again in case you find a few minutes...

Are you honestly saying that if one of the vulnerable teens (a girl, let's say) you have previously cared for came to you and said they had been punched in the stomach by a vulnerable teen boy and as a reflex, without thinking or planning, they slapped him, you would tell her that violence is violence and she was morally wrong to do so?

You wouldn't explain that her reaction was self defence and something that is a fight or flight self preservation response to being attacked?

You wouldn't explain that she couldn't have known if he would continue punching her in the stomach and that her reaction was her body attempting to defend itself?

Again, it's concerning you have cared for vulnerable people (of any age) with such black and white thinking and lack of ability to consider the nuance of situations.

Another question for you - after how many punches to the stomach by their teenage grandson is it ok for a grandma to hit back in self defence? Or is it never ok and they should just accept their fate and be assaulted until the assailant decides to stop?

Well done @LadySmurf well said!

Reading down this thread was making me so upset at some of the attitudes. You're response was spot on. Hopefully his parents get a wake up call.

I will answer your question as it has just popped up on my emails but, this isn't a post about me - it is a post for the OP who asked for people's opinions. I gave mine.

Of course she should expect to be safe in her own home.

Unfortunately - i am assuming that the child has issues which maybe Grandma didn't know about regarding being violent and swearing etc as Grandma said he could have a sleepover.

I obviously missed the post where it was stated that the child was stronger and larger than her.

Slapping a child round the face is completely different from defending yourself.

I will not be commenting anymore on this post.

Sorry, just had to comment on this.

My DD had a friend, a boy, who was very sweet and as well as playing together outdoors on bikes, building dens, looking for creepy crawlies etc , they played on his Playstation doing Minecraft. This is when they were around 9 .

The boy has progressed to Fortnite and has changed. He is now 11 and irratible, anxious and quick to temper. I believe it is due to excessive time spent on this game.

It's so easy to view this 'Gaming Time' as having a bit of peace and quiet in your own home , having time to yourself, but I don't believe it is healthy for kids.

I'm sure teachers can tell the kids that have way too much screen time as well.

I agree. Thank you for your posts @WearyAuldWumman and I'm so sorry for your loss. The fact some posters can just dismiss your experience is truly appalling and awful and an indictment on their morals.

I would say if someone was being attacked then you do all means necessary to make sure you are safe and call the police

@Bellaboo01 she was in her own home with her grandchildren. She should expect to be safe!!!

How does she get away from someone larger and stronger than her, intent on hitting her in her own home? How does she get safe? How? Without defending herself? Answer that.

A visceral, self defensive reflex to being attacked is not the same as an attack.

Every apologist for male violence on this thread needs to write this out 1,000 times.

All of this.

The slap back is a reflex. I know.

Yup!

I see @Cicciabella has reincarnated as @Bellaboo01

Awful attitude. You are defending male violence.

It's never too young to teach boys not to hit. I remember clearly my Dsis telling DN, "WE DO NOT HIT GIRLS," and removing him from a play area and removing the toy he had hit the girl with. He was 2.5. Obviously, it takes time to learn and a toddler can't be expected to grasp this overnight, but reinforcing this over and over is so critical because it can be too late at a certain age.

OP, well done you! I hope that in the future, your DGS will realize his errors and see that your tough love was the best thing for changing his life around. He's still young enough where a change can have an impact. If anything, his younger DB will see that violence against women should have consequences.