12 year old home alone

When you say 12 hours, is that 6 am to 6 pm, if so, I know my DC at that age on holiday wouldn’t be up till mid day, so that’s half the day gone already. Although not ideal, if she’s a sensible 12 year old and able to put a pizza in oven or cook something easy, then it would be ok. When I worked, I used to ring my DS after 2 pm, then I would know he was up and had eaten. Both my sons weren’t keen on holiday clubs, but I did have my in laws who would come around sometimes in the afternoon. We have neighbours, who are in and out throughout the day, they were happy for my DS to contact them, if they had a problem, but never did.

Me too.

OP what does the DD want?

The law is pretty grey. My understanding is that a child is considered a child until 18. Clearly children come of an age when they can be left alone. However my understanding is that, should anything untoward happen, such as a fire, the parents are responsible. So basically if nothing happens it's all OK, if there is an incident it's not.
My GS would also refuse to go to any organised activities and will not be responsible enough at age 12 to be left alone for longer than a few minutes ( ND) My own children were left alone younger than 12 for a few hours (NT) from coming home from school until I arrived from work.
It is the parents choice and risk, however 12 hours is an awfully long time for such a young child to be alone, I personally wouldnt do it

That's a very long time for a child of 12 to be left.. Is she going to be able to prepare lunch for herself? Left a packed lunch each day? What happens is someone knocks on the door? Or the neighbour gets wind of her being left for hours on end.. and call out social services 🤷🏼‍♀️ my teen 13 I'll leave for an hour or two - much to his delight! 12 hours - absolutely not. I'd not let her go if I was you, I get she doesn't want to do holiday clubs at that age but interacting with others is important even if it's sitting on the sofa having a chat. I find it very sad she'd be left alone for so long 😞

I think it's too long too. I have a 12yo and she is at home for a couple of hours alone. She has ASD and isn't v mature but she would be delighted if I left her all day! She would also just sit on her bed hunched over her ipad for hours, which I don't allow when I'm home!

I would come to a compromise - she needs to have some plans over the time, not necessarily loads. It does depend if she is pretty trustworthy and if she'll be glued to a screen - and if the parent minds that.

Jeez, the helicopter parenting truly is a real thing!
From 10 years onwards, I LOVED to hear the front door click shut behind adults leaving. I could read and eat all day, write something in secret diaries, make a face mask from grated carrots and egg whites, try on make-up, go to the corner shop to get some ice-cream, glue Britney posters all over the room, beat the shit out of my twin brother... And all of that without being bothered by noisey adults.

Maybe just me then...And the 12 year old in the OP. Oh, and my own son too. All of us happy to be left to it.

If she has no hobbies or friends and there is no one locally she might be seeing etc I would say she is the very last type of child who should be left like this.

One of my children is 12 and uber social and if I did this would fill his day with stuff.. but I would never leave him for 4 days in a row. Possibly half days if I had to and I knew he would have plans.

She needs to be looked after and to hsve clear plans...or it will be several hours of ipad or gaming won't it ?

Around 13 my DD told me that I was making her miserable by trying to get her to do activities. She wanted to game etc at home. She's 27 this year and is a well rounded person. My girls would be fine to make their own choice at this age. She isn't you, she isn't your kids.

I think it’s easy to judge if you have family / friends that can help out . If he has no one then is he supposed to give up his job ? Take unpaid leave - maybe can’t afford this ?
sometimes the only option isn’t ideal but tbh at 12 she should be capable of looking after herself .

Yep. An hour. She has grown up a responsible adult with 2 children and was glad she wasnt a latchkey kid, told me that herself when some of her friends parents were always working and friends had to be on their own. I worked, but she went to grandparents. That was and is my view

An hour when they’re at high school ????

Yes it's far too long for several days however there isn't an easy solution..how would she get to activities if there is no one to take her ? She would have to be responsible for keys and locking up and getting there and back which is a lot for a 12 year old. She's too old for formal childcare so I'm not sure what he should do ? How does she feel about it?

I was totally capable of my own activities at that age.
I used to spend my summers at my Grandparents and in fact, I felt like I had to give activities to them - a conversation or a card game to break up the monotony of their retirement 😁

I would have never left my 12 year old alone for that long. An hour or so maybe.
My 13 year old grandson, i left for 30 mins other day, to break him in to be responsible..but straight out bang into 12 hrs? No chance .id be sick with worry. Crikey

Maybe he's thinking by spelling it out to her like that, it will make her change her mind and she'll agree to doing some activities?

This would have been my idea of bliss when I was twelve, just a good stretch of uninterrupted time to do what I wanted without having to consult everyone else. reading for hours, painting , I suppose these days trash Tv as well.

She’ll probably get bit bored towards the end and get together with some friends or do ‘activities’ when she feels like it.

I can see why she would. Plenty of kids that age would rather kick back at home than do a long day of activities. Can she be persuaded to do a couple of days activities and a couple of days at home?