People commenting on my 6 YO DD weight?

DD is 8 years old and weighs 3.5 stones. She's average height as in there's some in her class taller than her but most are similar if not shorter.
She looks underweight but isn't for her height and I get lots of comments on how underfed she looks.
People will always comment, a bit like they do with babies and pregnancy.
I see you're prepared to make some changes and that will show really quickly in an active child so don't beat yourself up.

If you are, in fact, assessing your child according to the medical criteria, why are you even stating "fits into clothes intended for their age" as an objective criteria?
It doesn't really back up your critical thinking.

3 reasonable adults, who you have no reason to assume get their kicks from fat-shaming children... They might just have a point.

I think four stone is a lot unless she’s unusually tall! My six year old is 2stone 11 and my 10 year old 4stone 3.

Ok, point taken. “Range”, rather than “normal range”. It was in response to a PP saying the average weight is 2st.

No 6yo weighs 2 stone.

I haven’t addressed you for quite some time so I’m not sure why you’re addressing me. I have nothing to say to you. Your child has nothing to do with the thread if they aren’t as you say overweight.

That’s incorrect. The weight / height given by the op is top of overweight / cusp of obese. It is not within normal range.

As someone who does actually have an overweight child , I'd say stop panicking. She's not massively overweight at all. In fact, there's a lot of severely underewight kids on this thread if people's comments are to be believed.

My daughter is an athlete - trains 26 hours a week. She's 11 and weighs 6 stone. Very trim, toned beyond belief. I'm almost certain at reception age weigh in she was 2stone 9 and there was nothing of her.

My son on the other hand has always been a bigger build, you'd have described him as stocky when he was younger. He's overweight now. Weighs 8 stone and he's 10. However, I have mentioned it to lots of doctors (he has multiple medical conditions) and none of them are bothered as he's 5'2 , wears a shoe size 39 and you would never ever say someone at 5'2 who weighed 8 stone was fat. BUT i know out of clothes he definitely is - he just gets away with it in clothes.

How does your daughter look? Can you post a picture minus her head? Strangers will be honest.

I'm a size 10 and weigh a lot lot more than people would ever guess! I just carry weight in an odd way I'm sure! My weight classifies me as 'obese' - yet I'm in size 10 clothing (from normal shops not shops where the sizing is odd!)

I have a large bowl of fruit as snacks and 3 meals a day. If the kids want cake they have to make it. I’m not adverse to buying cakes, bars etc but usually only for celebrations or days out. No child needs tea AND supper. Just have one meal at a sensible time. This seems to have worked out quite well. I feel sorry for the kids I see who are overweight and teenagers. They are not going to be healthy moving forward.

And you don't think that possibly a) clothes shops want to flatter parents into thinking their children are the right size (and sell more clothes, and sell clothes for the child of that age who's the middle of the current range of children of that age and b) you could possibly be swayed by seeing lots of OTHER overweight children?

Exactly this. Children are hugely overweight and unhealthy which means shops have had to adjust their sizing. The lack of knowledge is, sadly, not surprising

@drspouse and @Otherstories2002. I'm aware that the amount of overweight dc is an issue in general. But it's not ALL children. I only replied to a ridiculous comment, replying that a child being half an adult's weight is often normal as this is the case with my youngest ds. But your continued insistence that my 7 year old must be overweight is...odd 😂

To set your poor minds at rest, I am completely comfortable with my 7 year old's weight for the following reasons:

• He is within the NHS's healthy BMI range.
• He comfortably fits into clothes intended for his height.
• He looks to be of healthy weight, with no visible excess fat at all and very clearly visible ribs.
• He eats a healthy diet.
• He is as fit as a fiddle. He takes part in a number sports, so trains several times a week. He's amongst the fastest and most nimble on his teams. He can ride his bike up a steep incline for several minutes without breaking a sweat. Bounces on the trampoline for 20 minutes straight with zero effort. Etc etc.
• I have prior experience of very tall, broad boys and am aware that some body types have heavy genetic influence. Both of my teens (16/14) are 6 foot plus (as is dh). They have broad shoulders and slim waists, are a perfect weight with high muscle tone and both play a sport at national level for their age group. They BOTH stayed in the circa 75-80th centile for weight for all of childhood. It's their build. So far, ds3 is mirroring this pattern.

So just to summarise, no, I don't consider my 7 year old has any weight problem 😂 Save your concern and snarky comments for where they're needed.

It sounds like something that has just gradually happened over time and definitely not something she can't very easily come back from with a few minor diet changes, so try not to worry. I would get yourself a healthy children's recipe cook book, maybe include her in baking healthy snacks, sounds like she's active enough so I would think within a few months she'll be back on the average side of the BMI scale 💖

Nonsense, a 2 stone 6yo would be severely malnourished.

Normal range is 36-60 pounds. 4 stone is 56 pounds so at the top of the range.

It's actually 3 stones and 4lbs 😆

Rubbish, it's around 3 stone at 6.

The average is 2st so....she's more than double that. She sounds very overweight. My 8 and 9 year olds just about weigh that.

I'm sorry but that's ridiculous, talk about a low bar. People manage to provide basically healthy (occasionally less than optimal) balanced food in all sorts of circumstances, many of which are much worse than 'having twins'. OP sounds very well intentioned and willing to listen to advice for changes which could be made, it's patronising to congratulate her on keeping her children alive.

Mine were slightly chunky at age 6, we kept an eye on it with the view of keeping their weight stable so their height could catch up - now the 11 year old is possibly slightly underweight with clear ribs and collarbones (but will clear out an unattended fruit bowl in seconds) and the 12 year old is slightly larger but at that puberty point where body fat distribution changes so it’s hard to tell at present - but compared to peers she’s one of the very skinny ones.

One thing we did to cut things down without it being an issue (acutely aware that that needs careful management with the world girls will be growing up into) was to buy a new crockery set and, needing to “make sure it fitted in our dishwasher” we picked one with smaller-side plates - naturally limited portions down a bit that way. Cereal we made a thing about introducing a choice of 4 - conveniently they were 4 lower sugar ones, rather than a box or two of “kids” ones (we had to do that at this point after DD2 had a hospital stay where she discovered the existence of Coco Pops!). Little, very low-key things and got the kids to stay on one weight and grow their height into it - neither so far have had any talk of body insecurity stuff as a result of it.

I don’t do “banning” food because I know DD1 in particular will then go nuts when the restrictions are off. Just been away all inclusive and their food choices were pretty impressive all in all.

Agree. My short for her age 11yo is 5st 2. According to nhs bmi calculator she is on the 30th centile.

my average height just turned 9yo is on the 19th centile at 4st 2. I’d expect an average height 10yo female to be around 4st 7 - 4st 12.

I agree. I know it's frowned upon on here, but genetics do play some role.

I've never struggled with my weight (even in pregnancy, my BMI didn't go into the overweight category... Despite having 8-8.5lbs babies!) and my BMI is currently hovering around 19-20).

My DS6 clearly takes after me; he is 50-75 percentile for height and 25-50 percentile for weight.

My DH however is under average height for a man and BMI is overweight. His mum is the same.

My DD8 clearly has their genetics for build - she is below average height, but stocky. Her BMI is currently 75th percentile, but it doesn't take much to hover near the 90th.

Exactly this. Children are hugely overweight and unhealthy which means shops have had to adjust their sizing. The lack of knowledge is, sadly, not surprising.

No one is saying cut carbs completely but her diet is currently mainly white or sugary carbs. That’s not healthy for an adult or child.
No one needs pancakes, waffles and croissants daily and McDonald’s and takeaways weekly.
With a few swaps her diet will be much healthier and still include all food groups.

Have a look at this, OP

I don't necessarily agree with all their advice to have low-fat and low sugar things which have more additives but equally there are some good ideas for food swaps and recipes.

https://www.nhs.uk/healthier-families/food-facts/healthier-food-swaps/

One easy thing is for them to have some veg sticks with a sandwich.

Hi OP well done on posting and being open to advice. Ive been doing a lot of reading on health and kids in the UK have an extremely high ultra processed diet like 70% or higher. UPF is linked to over eating, obesity, chronic disease and poor appetite control as it is less nutritious and also as its heavily processed more of the fat and sugar is absorbed into the body. I would make slow small changes to a less upf diet focusing on more whole foods. If you can, read Ultra Processed People which has completely changed how I view food. For example I have swapped out cereals to a much less processed one and provide eggs, whole grain soughough, nuts, fruit, porridge, museli. Variety of fruits and veg is key for gut health so I make sure there is plenty of fruit and veg sticks available. Snacks are houmous, cheese, rice cakes, nuts, home made cakes or biscuits. I have moved away from juice and squash and my kids only have water or milk at home now.

https://www.lancashire.gov.uk/lancashire-insight/health-and-care/health/lifestyle/healthy-weight/
These are the stats for my area. Over a quarter of 4 and 5 yr old children are overweight and 1 in 10 obese moving on to 40% overweight and 1 in 4 obese by age 10 or 11.
For everyone sharing stories of overweight young children who grow out of it there’s a high likelihood that OP’s daughter with a high sugar/white carb, low protein and no veg diet would end up overweight or obese at 10/11.
Much kinder for a family member to have said to mum who is in charge of her food (not child) now and mum to be able to take steps.
By 10 or 11 it’s much harder to alter habits.
A child who is used to eating takeaways, McDonalds, pancakes and waffles daily isn’t realistically going to have a spurt and end up a healthy weight.
Op has been in thick of it coping alone with the twins and her daughter, she now realises and can address it sensibly and sensitively.
There’s absolutely no need for child to end up with a complex about her weight. Much more likely to have issues if nothing said and girl is 11 needing a plus sized secondary school uniform and unable to buy a dress for leavers disco like her friends. At that age they are aware and can be be subject to comments or are unable to keep up with peers at sports.

It sounds as well like the school is creating a problem by giving them pancakes and croissants. Perhaps they are doing this as some children are not eating breakfast, but it means that some of them have two breakfasts.

I remember putting weight on when I changed schools because the new school had a tuckshop at break time, so we went and ate crisps and chocolate instead of running about. Whereas at the old school we just played out at break and didn't eat anything between breakfast and lunch time.