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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I being rude?

34 replies

Chelle87l · 29/05/2024 19:27

Earlier on today, my husband was in the kitchen making his overnight oats. I walked out into the kitchen and walked back into the living room and I went to close the kitchen door All of a sudden he's shouting don't shut the kitchen door and I asked if he's coming in and he said no so I said well I'm going to close the door and he shouts no your not your just being rude. Please can anyone tell me if I was being rude? Because to me I wasn't! Am I being unreasonable to think that I was not rude .

OP posts:
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Lifelong · 30/05/2024 06:24

Sounds very aggressive.
Is he aggressive?

SherbetDips · 30/05/2024 06:15

i guess i probably wouldn’t shut a room door if someone was in the room. Or I’d say “oh just gonna close this, that ok.?”

It feels a bit of an overreaction on his part tho. Surely just say oh do you mind leaving that open.

wizarddry · 30/05/2024 06:11

Was the door open when you walked in?

showerjelly · 30/05/2024 05:39

This is all very odd!

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 30/05/2024 04:08

He's the one in the room, you shouldn't be closing him in without at least saying why. When he said he didn't want it why didnt you explain or just leave the door?
My abusive XH would shut the door of rooms I was in, no idea why, made me feel shut out from the rest of the house. Even when I said don't he'd still shut the door and wouldn't say a word. Its not a nice way to treat someone.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 30/05/2024 02:47

I have had cats for 20+ years. I can’t remember the last time I was able to shut a door …

Can’t relate to this thread other than picturing your DH as a cat on the other side of a closed door.

LSTMS30555 · 30/05/2024 00:59

EH?

NewName24 · 30/05/2024 00:21

I mean. whereas we close our kitchen door - cooking smells if someone is cooking / noise if they are listening to music in thee / fire risk , and we close all doors in the house for similar reasons, plus of course to keep the warmth in. So I don't think it is strange at all to shut a kitchen door but as others have said, this is clearly not the only thing going on here.

marie3e · 29/05/2024 23:02

He thought you were closing the door after he told you not to for no other reason than to make a point maybe.

Dunnoburt · 29/05/2024 22:47

Are you in a controlling relationship OP? This in my opinion is a non event to get worked up so much as to post on aibu......? No advice but honesty is normally the best policy Xx

Devilsmommy · 29/05/2024 22:28

YaMuvva · 29/05/2024 22:22

Was he speaking at the time? DH has done this when I’m speaking and I called him rude. Turns out the deaf bastard ‘couldn’t hear me’ 🤔

Yeah my DH does that alot, also known as "cockin a deafun" 🤣🤣🤣

YaMuvva · 29/05/2024 22:22

Was he speaking at the time? DH has done this when I’m speaking and I called him rude. Turns out the deaf bastard ‘couldn’t hear me’ 🤔

ouch321 · 29/05/2024 22:20

What strange behaviour.
YABU

Helengreggregson · 29/05/2024 22:16

Sounds like there is more to this than closing the door for sure. Have you been getting on ok recently apart from this ? It sounds like it was innocent on your part but sometimes when tensions are high simple acts like this can grate on someone

Original poster
Chelle87l · 29/05/2024 21:02

I wanted it shut to keep the warmth in. Perhaps i should have asked if I could close it.

OP posts:
pictoosh · 29/05/2024 20:57

Well fgs...why did he want it open? Why did you want to shut it?

Chasingthewilddeer · 29/05/2024 19:55

Depends on the layout of the house and what the norm is in your house. Was there a reason to close the door or to leave it open?

Sue152 · 29/05/2024 19:52

Was there a reason to shut the door?

Divilabit · 29/05/2024 19:52

malmi · 29/05/2024 19:33

Is "making overnight oats" a euphemism?

Is it like ‘sowing his wild oats’ but they stay in the fridge overnight? 😀

Firawla · 29/05/2024 19:48

Yes you’re slightly rude. Why are you closing the door on him just get oh with your own thing

AmelieTaylor · 29/05/2024 19:46

@Chelle87l

why did you want the door shut?

overnight it's aren't a noisy or smelly activity?

I hate to be in closed rooms, in fact I have several open door ways without doors I don't shut the bathroom door when I'm home alone.

LostTheMarble · 29/05/2024 19:46

I hate doors being open, my kitchen door doesn’t shut and it drives me spare. So in my mind you’re not unreasonable but there seems to be more going on…

StuffLoriThangs · 29/05/2024 19:44

What a non event

Spirallingdownwards · 29/05/2024 19:43

Why would you close a door to a room that someone was in and was open when you went in?

AGlinnerOfHope · 29/05/2024 19:40

I don't think you should change someone else environment without checking with them.

Turning on/off the radio, lights, closing doors and windows- especially when you then leave the space <glaresatDH>