Do you believe couples are of similar attractiveness?

Debbie McGee has many times explained that at the point she got together with Paul, she was actually wealthier than he was!

Judging by Paul's autobiography, they had a great sex life and shared a zany sense of humour; also shared the same moral outlook - both raving Tories 😃

There are exceptions but generally speaking people know their level and usually end up with someone of a similar level of attractiveness.

When we were young and first together I was very overweight, DH was very conventionally attractive, tall , dark hair, good physique, his previous partners were all slim blondes. I was a large redhead. Over the years I have lost a lot of weight and now take much better care of myself and he's aged a bit so he's attractive but I don't get women chatting him up in front of me anymore! So objectively we are probably on a par.

What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?

I'm not so sure on the 'age differently', DH and I got together at uni, and quite a few friends also got together with their DHs at uni or just after so I've seen them all 'grow up'

IME everyone has seemed to age pretty evenly as each other as you tend to eat the same in a couple, and have at least some hobbies in common (e.g. walks or pubbing or a sport etc)

I was gonna add this. My DH looks so much better as he's aged. I'd say we're now the same attractiveness. When we were young I was definitely better looking.

Maybe in another 10 years he'll overtake me in the looks department 😂

We're both similarly career minded and successful at work. Earn similarly, same level of education.

I think generally couples are matched in intelligence and character, even if not looks, but I can think of notable exceptions.

There was a TV programme a few years ago where they investigated this. A random person rated the looks out of 10 of five couples and then paired them up according to score. They were correct! It only falls down when one partner is very wealthy and can attract a poorer partner.

DH and I are equally unattractive. It’s great.

@Thepeopleversuswork

Maybe and it was hurtful but they were being honest. A lot of young men think like that about women.

Many women with the qualities you describe are very sought after with no perceived hit to a man's status

Wallace Simpson
Queen Camilla

Or he just didn't see her as someone he wanted to date. There doesn't have to be any logical reason. We don't all like every attractive person we meet

@Ceeeeee

Yes I absolutely agree. Where the man is less attractive physically, he'll have money, power or status it seems.
As women have increasingly earned more, this is now seen both ways.

We all have a perceived value.
That value is a combination of many things including:

Looks
Money
Social status
Power
Age (youth may be considered a plus in some situations)

So someone very good looking may be with someone not attractive physically but powerful and rich. Or people of equal looks may also be of equal other things.

We see more and more older successful women with younger attractive men earlier in their careers than we used to

I’m definitely punching on the looks front, my husband is stunningly beautiful, it isn’t just me thinking that either, when he first met I actually found it a bit intimidating.

I do think a lot more couples now are fairly even, but is that the online dating effect where people go on pictures and a blurb, rather than meeting people more naturally.

Maybe overall attractiveness rather than looks for example money, power and charisma pay a karge part in attraction

I had a beautiful friend who was married to a far less attractive man 15 years her senior. In addition she was one of those lucky people who look a decade younger and he looked a decade older. She loved his sense of humour and quiet strength. Although she was the higher earner and he was just above minimum wage, they were treated like royalty when they went out because there was an assumption that he must be a millionaire to have a woman so much younger and more attractive.

Ooh "appeal" is a great way to put it! I totally agree with you.

IME most couples start out with the woman being more attractive, there is a point around 50 where the man is more attractive, and then by 65 the woman is more attractive again.

I was thinking that! I googled him for more pics and that one is a good one, but still!

I also think Anne Hathaway's husband is fairly attractive!

Surely there are better examples than these!

Yes good observation. Sometimes the weighting of these variables are a bit crazy but in general 9s date 9s and 6s date 6s

I reckon he's gorgeous!

I agree with pp though, it's more unusual to see a good looking successful man with a below average looking woman.

It's rare to see a handsome man compromise on looks. So if you see him with an average woman,you almost perceive her as less attractive- when really, she's just a normal woman.

Don't think I've ever seen a good looking man with a below average woman (unless it's a passport scam)

What was that old checklist that use to go round email, it starts out with a long list of must haves for a perfect boyfriend/husband and as the decades wear on the list gets shorter. For many reasons I found it very true.

DH and I were mid 30s when we got together so our lists were considerably shorter than they would have been in our late teens/twenties.

Looks were part of what I found attractive when younger, but a bad boy absolutely overruled looks for me. Thankfully I took that particular requirement off my list after my first marriage.

By the time I met DH my sole intention was to find someone good enough to father my children and stick around. The fact he’s become an amazing provider has been a lucky bonus. Neither of us are what I would consider conventionally attractive, although I was once screamed at in a bar by some bloke that I had the best tits in the place! Usually I’d be told by many pricks I’d be good looking if I lost weight.

See I don't at all. BUT he does look weirdly similar to Ryan Gosling in some photos. Who I also don't find attractive but lots and lots of women do. So I guess those women would say they (Hathaway and Shulman) are a well matched couple looks wise.

Which bit?

It seems pointless posting unless you actually explain what you think is mean and why.

Attraction is not something I have any control over and I certainly can't override it with any moral duty to #bekind to unattractive men. Is it "mean" to acknowledge that?

I've been drawn to partners of differing levels on the conventional physical attractiveness scale, but they've all had something going for them.

And these two. I agree with pp though, it's more unusual to see a good looking successful man with a below average looking woman.