Do you believe couples are of similar attractiveness?

Well none of us on here or in the normal world will ever agree on what is good looking/attractive as or in men or women

but some people seem obsessed with looks and it is usually the first thing people mention when speaking of their children and ''I can't believe he cheated as she is good looking" like it works that way?

I have never meant any intelligent people obsessed with looks male or female

I'm not that shallow or nosey enough to care

A friend was absolutely gorgeous at 19, got together with her now DH, who was definitely considered far less attractive than her back then!

Almost 30 years later, my friend is really scathing about her own looks (she's still beautiful but doesn't see it). She put on around 10 stone and she feels self conscious that people see her size before anything else. The 'what-are-you-doing-with-him?' DH later became a model, and just blossomed into an incredibly good looking man.

So now, people see a woman in her late 40's, around 20 stone, lacking confidence in how she looks, who is married to a successful male model. They probably look mismatched to many people, but they are just beautiful together. They are best friends, adore each other completely, and are a joy to be around.

I think it’s true for friends too .. similar levels of looks seem to group together .. people you feel a comfortable connection with..
Stunning model-esque friends would make me feel so self-conscious, inferior and like the poor relation! 😅😂

Average and unattractive people - yes. They generally are with people of around the same loose level.

Beautiful men tend to marry plain women.
Beautiful women tend to find the most troll looking male you’ve ever glimpsed at but they do tend to be intelligent.

Even if she objectively had more going for her than him, he’s still well within his rights to reject her. People aren’t tick boxes and there can be a number of reasons why some people ‘click’ and others don’t.

God, I read "Tony Robinson" as "Tommy" there 😲

But they didn't stay together. I doubt she'd ever say anything but you do wonder if she actually fancied him.

It's frequently true but not always. I often see unattractive men with attractive women and no, the men aren't always rich. Much less often, I see men with less attractive women.

I might be over-generalising here, but I've noticed that men dating less attractive women tend to think their wives/girlfriends are gorgeous (perhaps they're drawn to a specific type), whereas I think women often give more weighting to their partner's other good qualities such as kindness and a good sense of humour.

But when you get to 70 both look the same really, especially if they’ve been together for years.

Single women seem to look better then single men right into old age.

I just think you notice attractiveness more in youth because it’s, well youth.

I don’t know.

my DH is very attractive, confident and charming. I’d say he’s quite far out of my “league” to be honest. I’m the higher earner (now) but wasn’t to begin with.

He tells me im beautiful every day but i do have eyes.

I find it interesting how all of the Premier League multi millionaire and very average looking footballers have gorgeous models by their sides

How can someone objectively be a 9 or a 6 though? What do we knock points off for? 😂

Women can easily wear make up/dye their hair to improve themselves.

Men can't. It makes a huge difference

Yes they can keep a healthy weight, dress well, good teeth etc but it can only go so far.

'Attractiveness' isn't just about looks.

I'm someone who would say my DH is (objectively speaking) very good looking, I was more 'girl next door'. He had more than his fair share of gorgeous girlfriends, one who was a model, before we got together but he was looking for more than looks in his life partner. I did have some insecurity about my looks vs previous girlfriends, his view was 'when you've woken up next to them a few times, it's not the looks that you see'.
Still together over 30 years later.

Yes this is backed up by science - it's called the matching pairs hypothesis.

People of similar attractiveness levels pair up, and when they don't, the less attractive partner brings something else to the table eg wealth, status etc.

Interesting whether this is different when couples meet when they are older. I suspect men can be more choosy the older they get, as women tend to live longer so there's more women available.

It's very interesting. In our circle, some of the blokes who were youthful and attractive have aged significantly (we are all nearing 50) and really look quite old, and conversely their wives look significantly better. I think my husband and I are now similar, whereas when we met, I think he was maybe seen as the more attractive of us both? We were definitely in the middle though of our peers...

This is a great question. I actually think my DH is seen as better looking than I am, which is the opposite to most couples, where the woman is more attractive.

I'd say DH and I have probably been similarly attractive averaged over our lifetimes, but we might have changed places over the years. Initially quite similar, maybe he could be considered the lucky one! I reckon I improved with age through my 20s, and he got quite slim through high level exercise which maybe didn't improve his face (excellent arse though!). The tables turned when we hit our 30s, he fully grew into his face and got more and more handsome, and I put on weight and the deep wrinkles set in. 40s now and he gets better every year I reckon, whereas some days I feel like my face resembles an old shoe. He earns significantly more. I'm a hoot though, and we love each other more than ever, so 🤷‍♀️

From my small sample, I'd say that women in their 30s/40s often seem more attractive than their partners. Of the dads at school for example there are a few attractive and/or physically fit blokes my DH included. But there are loads more standard issue balding dad-bod types. There are a few examples that have made me really double take when the dad turns up and you realise who his v attractive wife is. But, this is all superficial snap judgement from me - maybe he's charismatic and brilliant, maybe rich, maybe he was a model back in the day and age has caught up, and probably someone thinks the same about me and DH in reverse! None of it really matters, they do not have to be attractive to me.

Yes of course, apologies no idea why I said Norman Mailer must be brain fog!

In my twenties, I noticed a lot of attractive women in my circle with men who were not just less physically attractive but less interesting/intelligent/kind too. It made me wonder if the women just didn’t appreciate themselves enough or if more attractive/higher social status men are less inclined towards highly educated women.

Twenty years on my circle is more diverse, and many of the men have aged well. I’d say it’s pretty even.

True but not to the average 17 year old boy.

That’s Arthur Miller, not Norman Mailer. Mailer was no one’s idea of attractive. Even his literary gifts were oversold.

I was always attracted to very pretty boys but DH is a lovely average "bloke" and I'd say I'm the female equivalent (but with more hair 😂).

I think most couples I know are fairly "balanced" looks wise.

I do know one couple where the wife is simply exquisite and the husband, um, isn't. They've been very happily married for nigh on 30 years. (Unfortunately their daughter is the image of her dad.)

When I was young I was very pretty. DH was not handsome but he was talented and had a good job. As we’ve got older I’ve become much less pretty, while DH has got an even better job. So I’d say his value has gone up while mine has gone down.

If I met him now I wouldn’t expect him to be interested in me. We are probably at the same level of looks now, but he has money and power so he’s probably more attractive as an overall package.