Sitting around on bed during the day

Beds are comfy, I spend lots of time hanging on the bed. I'd understand if you were bothered about not doing stuff together but saying it isn't what beds are for is just bizarre, there aren't any rules.

I used to spend lots of time in my room. I'd be pissed off he's laying with the clean washing rather than putting it away but I don't see a problem with it really. Like others have said he's running away. Out of sight won't be asked to do things he doesn't want to do. I still run away up to my room sometimes.

I'm always amazed by the things that some Mumsnetters find unacceptable. Things that in 50+ yrs I've never heard anyone complain about.

I love my bed, I like to read in bed or watch something on my tablet. It's comfier and warmer than downstairs. I wear day clothes, though will remove my jeans if I go under the covers, I don't have loungewear. DH likes time to chill in the lounge with his war films or whatnot, it suits us both.

Although if the issue is your DH not pulling his weight then that's another matter.

I quite like just chilling out in our room, lying in/on the bed, reading or scrolling online….

I sometimes want to stretch out or curl up instead of sitting on the sofa. It’s nice and quiet up there and I’m less likely to be disturbed.

I love sitting in my bed. When my youngest naps I take a coffee up and sit in my bed looking out the window, might have a snooze but might not.

I found lounging on the bed during the day quite weird too. I don’t know why I do but once I’m up then the bed is made and it doesn’t occur to me to hang out in my room. I literally sleep there and change there and that’s it

No, I don't 'make him feel' anything. He seemingly feels bad about it of his own accord.

Do you make him feel bad about it so he's on edge?

I love a good mooch about in my own bed. I get changed into comfy clothes/jammies though. My husband isn't one for it and prefers the sofa but he's never made me feel bad about it.

I'm a grown adult and if I want to read a book/watch a movie on my laptop or have a wee doze in bed I bloody well will. It's bliss.

When people say ‘day clothes’ what do they mean? Is it ‘house clothes’ as in any clothes that aren’t pyjamas or ‘outside clothes’ as in jeans/shirts/workwear/pretty dresses etc.?

@KreedKafer

I think there’s a tendency on Mumsnet to assume that any use of a phone for recreation is ‘mindless scrolling’.

You are right there is a lot of silly snobbery about this and you’re right also that there’s a huge difference between, say, learning a language on your phone and mindlessly watching TikTok. And I am guilty: I do judge people harshly for being over dependent on their phones.

I do think though that using a phone has to be done with a degree of mindfulness otherwise it just turns people into zombies. It’s like anything else: using it purposefully can be a good thing. Mindlessly zoning out for hours not so much.

My daughter’s babysitter works for a nursery and she said she’s lost count of the number of applicants for jobs there who cite “going on my phone” as a hobby. Which is really fucking depressing. Anyone who counts having a smartphone as a hobby needs to go to rehab.

I'm surprised dh hasn't discovered this idea. Foolishly, he chooses to sit on the sofa and do nothing, which means he's easy to find and therefore easy to direct. Free time is all well and good, but not if there are things to be done.

You're being unreasonable I love time to relax on my bed never wear day clothes on it but I enjoy doing it

I took to working from bed when I couldn't afford to have the heating on in the day over the winter. It's a hard habit to break...

I had no idea people had such issues with wearing 'outdoor' clothes in ones bedroom. Bonkers.

I wouldn't like this either OP

Sitting in bed on the weekend and aimlessly watching the world out the window is one of my official hobbies. I also like to have, a cat sitting in bed with me, tea and Jaffa cakes. I have a very busy life and it's the way I reset or decompress.
Even better if I have a random day off work and it's a school day so I can slope off back to bed post school run with a quiet house. Rarely happens but completely blissful.

Ooh I do all my share of the housework and work a full time job but on Fridays when I work from home I drop off the kids at nursery and have a full hour scrolling shit on my phone. It’s my decompression time and I’m engaged with the kids and Dh all other hours of the week and the house doesn’t suffer as a result. I think this is a DH problem not a ‘how you use your downtime’ problem.

I often sit IN my bed. Sometimes I just need some time somewhere quiet away from everyone.

I work from home in a 3 bed house with a living room and I spend most of my spare time on the bed! Including in clothes (although not outdoor clothes that have been on the bus). I prefer to watch TV or scroll on the bed instead of the sofa, it feels more casual during the day and cosy in the evening. Glad I’m not the only one! I live alone so no one to judge me here but I think it’s pretty common in houseshares when you’d like privacy or there’s no living room to use your bed as your sofa/desk/dining table etc.

I’m a 33 year old woman and I do!
I like to lie down to read so will often sit or lie on the bed. I don’t think that’s it’s self is weird. The sitting there all day and not doing anything else is what’s weird!

is he retired or on leave op?

The issue isn’t him being on the bed, the issue is you don’t feel he’s pulling his weight. Tell him.

😄 I do this in my child free time 😁

I’m in my 50s, female, and my bedroom is my favourite space! I go there to read, or just get some peace and quiet (in our open plan house with DC, dogs, and a DH who loves playing music). I’ve always preferred to spend time in my bedroom rather than the sitting room… In fact, back when I was single, I didn’t use my sitting room in my flat at all. I don’t think it’s that shameful or unusual!

Agree. It’s one of those things people only seem to lose their shit over on Mumsnet, never in real life. I cannot believe anyone is actually that prissy and uptight.