Sitting around on bed during the day

Why would sitting or laying on the bed be bad for the bed.
It's what it's designed for.
Same as a chair or sofa.
Day clothes that's just stupid talk.
Is he not allowed to relax in his own home.

I sometimes sit/lie on my bed during the day reading, and - gasp - wearing my day clothes. Don't see the problem tbh.

I beleive the OP has control on what the bed is for, how or why I have no idea

So far on mums net shut door on man if he's making oats in the kitchen man is lazy for sitting on his own bed in clothes.
I spend a lot of time on my bed if I've got nothing to do.
Its his home as well as yours.
You moan he's on his phone but yet your on mums net talking about him.
Controlling much you sound like my ex.
Day clothes would it be better if he was sitting there with nothing on.

It sounds like you feel irritated that he feels able to relax, whilst you feel obligated to get the washing tidied away and have certain ideas about acceptability.

Would you like to be able to relax too? Because that is a choice, you can choose to relax and come back to the jobs.

Have you explicitly asked if he will help, so you can relax and do something together? You know what is in your mind, but he doesn’t and clearly has very different ideas of what is normal.

It sounds like the source of the problem isn’t your partners relaxation on a bed full of washing, but an inability to communicate needs and desires.

Agreed

And the day wear business is utterly controlling.

Same!! Single mum here with a teenage daughter. She spends a lot of time lying on her bed so I decided to see what it was about. It's bloody marvellous!! 😂

Oooh lying on the bed in the day time is heaven. If I'm first home from work I'm straight into loungey slob clothes. Cup of tea. Good book or iPad on the bed. Fan on if it's warm, buzzy heater in the cold. Classic fm. Bliss. But I wouldn't ever read downstairs and I don't watch tv on my own. Cats also like lying on the bed with me.

Honestly this sounds like the kind of thing my, nice but slightly controlling, mum would get annoyed about.

The laundry/not contributing to family life because on his phone instead, sure, absolutely agree on this.

But why would sitting on the bed be bad for it? That's nonsense and surely just something you'd say because you felt irritated by the situation.

Ooh, I don't think so. It's not my place to comment on what my man does! He'd think me most presumptuous! I think its best that I just wait to go up to run his bath until he's stopped lying down so I don't startle him in future. But thank you so much for your advice. You must have a very modern marriage yourself.

I was sitting on the bed reading my phone after work yesterday right next to a pile of washing that needed putting away. Sometimes you just need a break.

The not putting washing away would annoy me, but otherwise, not so much. I used to spend time on my bed reading when I was my mother's carer, so I wasn't sitting right beside her in my tiny unit. It was the closest thing to privacy I had.

YABU. I don't see why people shouldn't use their beds to relax in the daytime. Beds are comfortable, usually the most comfortable place in the house. I spend happy hours reading in or on my bed, especially when the weather is bad. So does my DH. And so do our cats. Cut your husband some slack and give him some space to read and chill. There's nothing particularly 'adult' about reserving the bed for nighttime.

I don't use my downstairs at all. Like never!
I'm always sitting on my bed

I have a chronic illness and spend a lot of time in my bed, sleeping, resting, curled up reading books on my phone. It’s my idea of bliss. My DH plays computer games to decompress after a work day, I curl up in bed and read. Each to their own.

I wondered for a minute if I’d written this post and forgotten about it! My DH does this and it drives me unreasonably insane!!

It just seems so much lazier than sitting on the sofa downstairs which doesn’t bother me (although there’s plenty of things that need doing too!) - I reckon it’s a way to avoid having to interact with the kids / family.

I’m obviously a weirdo as I frequently sit on my bed on my phone or go to bed early to watch a movie on my iPad. For me, it’s a quiet place to escape to decompress. Sometimes I don’t want to sit in living room watching the tv shows my husband or kids are watching. During winter time I hate being cold so it’s my preferred place to go and get cosy even during the day time on a weekend! 🙈

Nah I’m always on my bed if I’m not working. I don’t like sitting downstairs on the couch.

I often do this… I like my own space, am sensitive to noise (kids, tv if it’s on etc) and live in a cold house. My bedroom is my sanctuary that meets all my needs. I love a couple of hours spent there on a down day when we weren’t doing much!

@5128gap

Odd reaction for him to have for no reason. Your tone in your post is disapproving. Maybe he picks up on that. Next time he jumps you should reassure him that he's allowed to lounge about as long as he likes and where he likes in his own home.

He is a grown adult, I don't get this 'I have decided what people should do and if they don't do it my way I am right'

It does sound odd. But then I think about it. In my defence I'm a single mum working full time spinning many plates.... but.... sometimes on a Saturday afternoon, I come upstairs with a cup of tea, get my legs under the duvet cover for 20 minutes and watch an episode of Say Yes To The Dress on my phone. (Hangs head in shame). 🤣

He could have something on his mind be a bit stressed out or bit down depressed ?
@Ferngardens

I lie on my bed quite a lot and play games

He is either a lazy git messing around on his mobile as he wants a break from family life for a bit to chill out or he is exhausted