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Did I put my foot in it with colleague

132 replies

Hayfevercandie · 29/05/2024 15:11

I work in a team where we're all kinda fairly young and have a good laugh. There's a guy in the team who's very young, early 20s and he likes to be the clown of the group in a way. People rib him in an endearing way and he's definitely known as the joker of the group.

Anyway he's on leave ATM but has been sending occasional pictures and updates to our work group chat.

I texted him briefly saying, hope you're having an amazing time, stay safe, we miss you!
He replied briefly saying thanks will do, and that's all.

A couple of hours later another guy in the team messaged on our group chat saying to him 'Are you still alive?"

He didn't reply for a bit and I put in a jokey way "Yeah I can confirm I heard from him earlier and all's good".

About 20 minutes later I got a private message from him telling me not to do that again, and that he will do it in his own time. He said it was not my place and then a few other things I just skimmed over as I deleted the message out of embarrassment.

I apologised and said I totally understand. I know from a mental health point of view there's more than meets the eye and he can occasionally seem quite irritable and withdrawn.

Anyway I've no intention of saying anything else or messaging. Does it sound like I put my foot in it?

OP posts:
Hayfevercandie · 29/05/2024 15:16

Deffo nothing going on in that sense, I'm 13 years older than him and he's certainly not for me 🤣
Yeah he can sometimes be a bit 'funny' I guess, he does like attention, but yeah I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on.

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ManagedMove · 29/05/2024 15:15

I agree with the other postera. I wouldnt give him another thought.

Hayfevercandie · 29/05/2024 15:15

hangerba · 29/05/2024 15:14

@Hayfevercandie no idea what you’ve done wrong other than perhaps he doesn’t like that you’ve said to the group you’ve privately messaged each other. You’ve apologised and said you understand. I would leave it now.

We private messaged before as we used to work together before the others came and we've known each other a while. So they are aware of the fact we're already mates kinda thing, so yeh it could be that. I feel silly but you're right, I'll just leave it now.

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Nomorecoconutboosts · 29/05/2024 15:15

Perhaps he is a bit sensitive, perhaps he likes to keep people ‘guessing’
perhaps he thought your message overstepped as others might have wrongly assumed you have more of a ‘relationship’ by you mentioning you had been communicating separately with him. Hard to know really!

Tagyoureit · 29/05/2024 15:14

Sounds like he was attention seeking and you ruined it by answering for him. He has a lot of growing up to do.
Forget it, you've apologised so nothing more to do or say.

hangerba · 29/05/2024 15:14

@Hayfevercandie no idea what you’ve done wrong other than perhaps he doesn’t like that you’ve said to the group you’ve privately messaged each other. You’ve apologised and said you understand. I would leave it now.

Hayfevercandie · 29/05/2024 15:13

He basically said 'Do not ever message on behalf of me'

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