Our household noise is driving our neighbour insane.

Maybe gift her some ear defenders. They're pretty good.

Probably shouldn't say that to them like.

Totally agree with this. Some empathy is needed. How long has this been an issue? I suspect new hearing aids and/or wax being cleared. I remember when my dad got his ears waxed we were accused of breathing loudly.

What? lol so can you put a washing machine on at 1/2am. I have read our local rules, but just curious.
I would have thought it would be too much. Especially in a place where i live.
The pipes clank when the machine is filling up lol. And the spin omg.
I put it once at midnight because my dc had been sick and I felt bad enough about that.

A neighbour below us two whole gardens away. Came round to ask us not to play our piano with the windows open until midnight. Thing is we didn't have a piano and were all in bed much earlier.

I did listen out a few times but never heard anyone playing a piano.

I had this with a neighbour of my father many years ago. She tried to tell me that he shouldn’t flush the toilet after 9pm.
I gave her short shrift. If you start accepting this nonsense it will be the thin end of the wedge and your lives won’t be your own.

@Panpastels "CurlewKate
Why is her age relevant?

Context?"
Fair enough. How about her colour, weight, social class.....

That is a really nasty ageist thing to write - hoping she will die soon so that she ceases to be a problem.
Given how noise can affect some people (hearing aids can lead to this) it would be good neighbourliness to avoid 'unnecessary noise' late at night or out in the garden.
It is called being considerate not people pleasing and helps us all to live in a civilised way.

This is actually a misconception. I work in the local authority. Those sorts of times are written in to tenancy agreements as a plea for considerate behaviour. However, a statutory noise nuisance is a statutory noise nuisance regardless of the time of day or night. The impact on someone however differs greatly. Noise nuisance is dreadful however and makes people so miserable.

true, but with limits - no local authority will be in the slightest bit interested in normal household noises... someone running a washing machine or tumble-dryer over night on a cheaper tariff / going to the loo at night / even the time of night they take a shower - all perfectly normal and legal.

They will be more interested in loud music / dogs barking left chained-up outside / etc.

Context?

Why is her age relevant?

Sounds like she's bored!

I'd be EXTRA noisy for a couple of weeks, then when you go back to normal noises it'll seem very quiet!

Empathy and balance are important here.

People posting here are right that it's normal household noise but, it is obviously stressing out your elderly neighbour, so if you're a nice person then surely you can have a look at how you might compromise in a way that doesn't limit you too much.

There is some noise that she'll just have to put up with and you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in your home. But, for example, trying to avoid having a shower at midnight because you know that she can hear it, might not be a ridiculous compromise.

Try not to accuse her of being ridiculous, she's just an old lady who is stressed out - think about what you can do to help.

If people can't handle general neighbour noise they need to live in a detached house. There's no way I'd be timing my showers or toilet use in my own home. Loud music, dogs barking loudly or shouting etc is totally different, but flushing the chain?? Sorry but I'd be telling her tough

I was just thinking wow she has amazing hearing for an 80 year old! Hearing aids explains this. She can always turn them down you know! However I wonder if she also has some tinnitus which she believes is your water tank - otherwise I can't understand why she can hear that in the middle of the night.

The hearing aids explain why everything sounds so loud to her in the day. But I agree she wouldn't wear hearing aids at night.

However she may well have tinnitus (very common when you have hearing loss) and that tinnitus could manifest as various sounds, so the supposed 'water tank' noise could actually be tinnitus.

Dementia is also a possibility, as it can cause an obsession with certain things.

Anyway I would ignore her, there isn't much you can do about it.

I'm very sensitive to noise after my experiences but showers or washing machines etc never bothered me. People have to live their lives.

If she sits in silence with new hearing aids she is going to hear every little thing. She could get soundproofing perhaps?

Explain that it's just normal household noise and if she needs total silence she needs to move to a detached property. Tell her you don't want to hear anything more about it.

My Nan used to be like this, she had nothing else to think about so fixated on various "issues" and now my dad has started doing it.

Has she got any children who visit? Perhaps you could speak to them about the issue and see if they can help? They might be able to reason with her?

Not to diagnose online but my GM has recently been diagnosed with dementia and her biggest symptom was a reduced tolerance to completely normal events. She goes to church and was getting completely wound up by any children, even if they cried once and were removed instantly she would complain all day about it loudly.

Your neighbour regardless of the cause is being unreasonable, you have to use your washing machine at some point and if your DH wants to go to the toilet after 10pm he should be allowed to.

It is all normal noise, unfortunately, but I sympathise with your neighbour, as it is still annoying hearing other people go to the toilet, have a shower, chop vegetables in their kitchen etc. I think if you can avoid doing particularly noisy things like running the washing machine after 11pm, it is considerate to do so. Otherwise, there's not much either of you can do about the situation.

I think this sounds like a hearing aid thing too.

However I would maybe make a concession on the showers and washing machine between, say, 10.30 and 7.30. It's the wrong hill to die on IMO.

I sympathise. Our previous neighbours were the same. Our house was empty for almost two years while probate went through and they got used to complete silence.
They called the police on us for having a BBQ on a Sunday afternoon and once I used the hairdryer at about 9 o clock at night and the man came round and threatened to kill me!
They actually complained to environmental health who did come round as I think they just got fed up with the constant phonecalls. They agreed that it was all normal everyday noise such as showers, walking around etc and took no further action. They did make our lives an absolute misery though for the whole time we lived there. I was terrified every time the kids laughed or the baby cried.
We moved to a detached house lol!
The couple we sold to were not very pleasant so I hope they put them in their place!